Our Children Are Sinners (and So Are We)!

Every child is asking, "Can I get my own way?"

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

It is not considered terribly tasteful these days to say our children are born sinners. Humanism, the permeating religion of our culture, says people are basically good with occasional bad moments. This isn’t the place to argue that, but instead to note that our family story is rooted in the Christian metanarrative that includes the Fall. And besides, never has the reality of sin been more obvious to me in my own life in my interactions with my children.

How can being aware that our children, and we, are sinners, help us with parenting? So many ways, but here are a few that come to mind:

First, when our three-year-old lies to us, we aren’t stricken with horror that our child is a monster as we would be if we bought the humanistic belief that our children are basically good. No, it really shouldn’t surprise us at all that our children lie to cover up when we recognize that we are children of Adam and Eve who bought the lie of Satan that God was holding out on them and then proceeded to try to cover themselves up with FIG leaves (ever seen a fig leaf? It reminds you of something a three-year-old would do, doesn’t it – hold a leaf over their naked body and think they’re covered:)?)

Second, it gives us a natural way to help them understand God’s grace. Watch the way God parents his creation. First, he asks, “Where are you?” As I often teach, “where are you” is one of the most redemptive questions we can ask a wayward person. The idea is – you are hiding from that extraordinary, glorious creation I know you to be as created by God.

[DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING STORY IS NOT BASED ON ANYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENED IN MY HOUSE. I’VE HEARD STORIES, THOUGH:)] For example, suppose your teenage daughter has stomped in the house, run upstairs, and slammed her door. (This does NOT only happen on TV:)!). You go to her room and gently knock. She says, “Go away. I hate you.” That response would be very confusing and perhaps ire-producing if it weren’t for the reality of sin. Because you love her and because you also know that this is NOT the way she was made to be, you enter her room anyway. And you ask some form of the question, “Where are you?” Hopefully, especially if you began asking this question when she was young, she will recognize that something is going on – perhaps she was hurt by someone at school and she’s somehow managed to blame it on you (If you had only let her go to that party, no one would have made fun of her.) You will be able to have a conversation about what’s going on accorded by gospel sanity. Perhaps she will turn from her anger and return to your welcoming embrace. On the other hand, that may take days, and in some cases, years. God pursued sinners – we should too.

There’s a third and very important point — about how recognizing our sin as parents affects our children, but we’re running out of room and time today, so stay tuned.  Meanwhile, I’d love to know — how does the recognition of sin help you parent your children?