Do you ever have those moments when the words you’re reading in a book seem to suddenly start speaking to you? I had that experience today as I was reading a chapter called Listening to Our Exhaustion in Jan Meyers’ book Listening to Love. (I was actually doing research for the upcoming conference on Living the Gospel in Broken Stories, which is going to be a powerful time to consider what God is doing in hard seasons.)
Jan tells about a sabbatical season, when she discovered that her mood swings were just as bad as they had been when she was dealing with the daily stressors. She was concerned, and she began to listen intently to what God was saying. I found her words so encouraging. I’d love to know what you think. What do you think God might be doing in some seasons of difficulty?
“His reply was not, ‘You need to believe me more fully, and I will deliver you,’ but rather a quiet affirmation of his love: ‘Jan, this is your limp. This is where I’ve been found by you from the beginning. It is in this struggle that you have tasted my love for you. I delight in you regardless of your moods. This is not your identity. But you do have to live carefully. You must give yourself more time and space than most people need. You need more rest than many. Continue to listen carefully to how I view this need, and I will tend to you and keep your heart.’ Can you hear what happens in the face of such Love? I felt as though I had lost ten pounds. God was not asking me to battle for relief. He was asking me to allow him to be present in the very thing that torments.”
“God’s estimation of us is never what we imagine we’ll receive from others or from ourselves…we spend too much time in our Christian lives trying to impress others with the way we have navigated around our suffering and calling that godly. I do think it was right for me to ask, seek, knock – for years – for this dread thing not to be a part of my life. It was good for me to ask, as Paul asked for relief from his thorn in the flesh. But there also came a time when, for the sake of intimacy with Christ, I surrendered to whatever he thought best with regard to my health.” Jan Meyers, Listening to Love
