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A Prayer about Ageism

A Prayer about Ageism

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

1 Timothy 5:1-2

Good Father,

Forgive us for the ways 

we sometimes marginalize older people. 

We do it in unnoticeable and unmistakeable ways: 

with sins of omission 

(not seeking ways to include the elderly 

by making churches and homes accessible 

in space, sight, and sound), 

or by sins of commission: 

grumbling about how slowly an older person moves

or how poorly they drive. 

You make it abundantly clear that all people, 

from cradle to grave, 

deserve dignity and honor, 

because we are created in your image (Gen. 1:26-27). 

The fifth commandment calls us to honor fathers and mothers, 

promising that doing so leads to lengthy life (Ex. 20:12). 

In 1 Timothy, Paul instructs Timothy,

“do not rebuke an older man harshly, 

but exhort him as if he were your father,” 

treat “older women as mothers,” 

and help widows in need (see 5: 1-3). 

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees 

for failing to care well for their parents (see Mark 7:9-13). 

Help us to see the subtle ways we marginalize the elderly. 

Help us to think of ways to honor the elderly 

and to welcome them in our lives.

In Jesus’s name. Amen.

Read Proverbs 16:31; Ecclesiastes 12; 2 Corinthians 5:1-10.



 

Elizabeth Reynolds Turnage

Elizabeth Reynolds Turnage

author, life and legacy coach, speaker

A Prayer about Honoring the Elderly

A Prayer about Honoring the Elderly

The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.

Proverbs 20:29

Everlasting Father,

In a world that often marginalizes or mocks the elderly, 

transform us into people who honor and value the elderly.

Even as we age, may we see your holy purposes for aging—

some may no longer have the energy to tend to babies all night long, 

but they do wake up in the night, 

and they can pray for those who do.

Some may no longer have the physical agility 

to perform skilled labor, 

but they do have years of experience 

and can teach those who do.

Some may no longer have the responsibilities 

of running a business, 

but they do have the ability and wisdom 

to give good counsel to those who do.

Lord, may we see the opportunities aging affords, 

and may we embrace not only our own aging, 

but the aging of others. 

May we see that you call the elderly 

to continue giving you glory 

by learning and leading every day of their lives. 

In Jesus’ redeeming name. Amen.

Read Proverbs 20:29; Titus 2:2-5; 1 Timothy 5:1 . 


 

A Prayer about Living and Dying in Faith

A Prayer about Living and Dying in Faith

These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. Hebrews 11:13

Heavenly Father,

Whatever our age,

Make us ready always 

to “die in faith.” 

Dying in faith is the natural conclusion 

to living in faith. 

Dying in faith is to look to the redemption 

you have already accomplished in this world

and in our lives through Jesus Christ, 

to be convicted of things we haven’t seen yet: 

our heavenly homeland, 

the new heavens and new earth life 

that will truly fulfill our every hope (Hebrews 11:1). 

To live and die in faith 

is to let go of the things of this earth 

to which we sometimes cling too tightly, 

knowing we are “strangers and exiles on the earth” (Hebrews 11:13). 

To live and die in faith 

is to trust your perfect timing 

in numbering our days 

and your perfect patience 

in sending Jesus back 

to take us home. 

To live and die in faith 

is to wait eagerly 

for the restoration of all broken things 

even as we groan inwardly 

when life hurts (Romans 8:19). 

Father, give us the eyes of faith 

to endure until the day comes 

when we are reunited with you.

In Jesus’ living and dying name. Amen.

Read Hebrews 11:1-16; Romans 8: 19. 



 

A Prayer about Caring for Aging Parents

A Prayer about Caring for Aging Parents

‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.’

Exodus 20:12

Gracious Father,

We confess, 

we don’t always know what it looks like 

to honor our fathers and mothers as they age, 

particularly as they begin to lose 

strength and cognitive abilities. 

Help us, by your Holy Spirit, 

and guide us by your Word, 

that we may know what good care looks like. 

Give us courage to have conversations 

with our parents today 

so that we might know their values, wishes, and priorities 

if they become weak mentally or physically. 

Remind us that despite mental and physical weakness and frailty, 

our parents are never our children. 

May we advocate for them 

as people with profound dignity and worth, 

because you created them in your image 

and you love them far better than we are able. 

Give us wisdom and insight to know 

what they would want in difficult scenarios 

that seem to have no easy answers: 

should they move to assisted living; 

should they have full-time care; 

would they want us to spend our savings 

on their care, etc.? 

Thank you for sending your Son, 

that in him we might live in faith, hope, and love 

as we care for aging parents. 

Amen.

Read Deuteronomy 5:16; Ephesians 6:1-3; Proverbs 6:20-24.



 

A Prayer about Talking about Death and Dying

A Prayer about Talking about Death and Dying

The last enemy to be destroyed is death. 1 Corinthians 15:26

Gracious Father,

You know how deathly afraid we are of death. 

We ask for your grace and mercy 

to help us talk about death and dying, 

well before we have any inkling that we might die. 

We ask you to give us the words 

to talk about death and dying 

with friends and family members 

who are facing a terminal diagnosis. 

Help us to talk about things 

like advance directives, 

which help us to choose 

which aggressive medical measures 

we wish doctors to use 

when our bodies are shutting down 

and the hope for a cure is long past. 

Help us to educate ourselves 

on these medical measures like CPR 

which looks nothing in reality 

like it does on TV, 

or ventilators, 

which can prevent a dying person 

from uttering her last words to her loved ones. 

Help younger family members to not be frightened

when their parents want to discuss their wishes; 

help elder family members 

be willing to share their wishes 

with younger ones. 

Because our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ died 

and was raised from the dead 

that we might have forgiveness of sins 

and join him in eternal glory, 

give us the courage 

to prepare for glory 

by facing our mortality. 

In Jesus’ courageous name. Amen.

Read 1 Corinthians 15:26-28; Hebrews 2:8.

To have conversations about these topics, see The Conversation Project.

To listen to hospice worker and palliative care worker, Kelly Markham, LCSW, discuss these things, go here.



Loneliness in the Aging

Loneliness in the Aging

Dear Friends,

Even as I have launched the new online community, the Numbering Your Days Network to offer gospel-centered encouragement and equipping around challenges of aging, caregiving, legacy, grief, and end-of-life, I always encourage in-real-life community as the best community.

The Importance of Visible Community

“Visible community is grace.”[i] As theologian and pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer sat imprisoned by the Nazis during World War II, he penned these poignant words. Face-to-face fellowship is a foretaste of the day when God will “gather us in…for [he] has redeemed us” (Zechariah 10:8-9). As members of the body of Christ, we must see one another, speak to one another, hear one another, and touch one another, because we “belong to one another only through and in Jesus Christ.”[ii] While visible community is essential, it may be harder for the aging to experience. You may have heard that there is an “epidemic of loneliness” in our country, and as with other plagues, this one hits the aging especially hard.

The Problem of Loneliness in the Aging

Spencer Morgan writes about his neighbor and friend, Mr. MacDonald, who strolled over one afternoon when Morgan was playing with his daughter in his front yard. Mr. MacDonald explained that the neighborhood had changed, with longtime friends dying and others moving away to be closer to family or to receive care in assisted living. Mr. MacDonald said he could no longer participate in hobbies he once enjoyed, because his eyesight and hearing were failing.[iii] Mr. MacDonald is not alone. For many seniors, the limitations of old age, like hearing and vision loss, as well as loss of the ability to drive, can lead to loneliness. In addition to these losses, seniors lose spouses and friends to death or to a move, and before they realize what is happening, their world has shrunk.

For the “roughly 43% of Americans 60 and over”[iv] who report loneliness, the impact can be startling: “[In the general population], research has consistently shown that isolation is linked to depression and anxiety. It has also been shown to lead to premature mortality, worsen cardiovascular health, increase inflammation, and disrupt hormones and sleep.”[v]  The effects of loneliness are worse for the aging, and for this reason, experts note that social connection is crucial healthcare: “While access to good health care and nutrition are essential to physical health in older people, social connections may be just as important.”[vi] In fact, Nicholas R. Nicholson, in his “Review of Social Isolation,” observes that “Those frequently attending religious services …have lower mortality rates than those with infrequent attendance.”[vii]

The Hope of the Gospel for Lonely Seniors

The gospel has great news to offer the lonely of all ages. Jesus is the “friend of sinners,” (Matthew 11:19), so no one ever needs to be fully alone. Not only that, the gospel calls us to live in the visible community Bonhoeffer described. Hebrews 10:24-25 exhorts us, “And let us consider together how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Bonhoeffer explains, “But God put his Word into the mouth of human beings so that it may be passed on to others…. God has willed that we should seek and find God’s living Word in the testimony of other Christians.”[viii] Because the “Christ in my heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of other Christians,”[ix] we desperately need to hear our sister in Christ sharing her favorite verse and how it has encouraged her. We desperately need to hear our brother’s confession of irritability and need for prayer. As we remind our dear brother, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1), we too are reminded of the hope we have in Christ. We need to hear the word preached and taught by faithful pastors and ministry leaders.

10 Ways the Church Can Help

Studies have shown that unhappiness and loneliness increase in those who do not regularly attend religious services, and based on Bonhoeffer’s words about visible community, we can probably guess why. Visible community is indeed grace, and it lifts up the lonely heart by bringing the friendship of Christ. If church and companionship is essential to addressing the loneliness of the aging, then our churches must think wisely about how to bring this visible community to our seniors. Here are ten ways to make sure seniors stay connected to the body of Christ:

1.     Urge people to be present in worship.

We can encourage our able seniors to stay active and present in church, and we can model that urgency by staying present ourselves.

2.     Address transportation needs.

We can seek to ensure that every individual who wants to be in worship and other church activities has a way to get there.

3.     Visit.

For those who are unable to leave home or assisted living, we must go to them, visiting and sharing the means of grace.

4.     Call.

When seniors are unable to receive visitors because of illness and potential for infection, we can call, preferably by video.

5.     Write.

We can also write letters, sending Scripture and prayers to those in isolation.

6.     Engage seniors with a sense of purpose.

Remind them that “they still bear fruit in old age” (Psalm 92:14), and invite them to be involved in activities that serve others as their abilities allow: cooking, mentoring, praying, writing letters to prisoners, etc.

7.     Encourage and even sponsor opportunities for vision and hearing tests.

Since limitations on hearing and vision can cause seniors to isolate, we could arrange for local healthcare agents to offer hearing and vision tests at our churches.

8.     Eat with seniors.

Invite seniors to a meal or bring a meal and dine with them at their home or assisted living facility. Because feasting is a biblical act with great significance, eating together is an essential way to deepen fellowship.

9.     Give hugs or hold a hand.

We often forget that seniors who live alone may not experience much physical touch. Not only have studies shown that appropriate physical touch increases a sense of well-being, we are called to show friendly affection as brothers and sisters in Christ: “Greet one another with a holy kiss” (Romans 16:16).

10.  Offer extra support to the recently bereaved.

We are called to care for widows, and doing so means that we will take note of who has recently lost a significant friend or family member and make sure we reach out in many of the ways already listed.

Because God has created the church to be a visible community, we must by the power of the Holy Spirit, think intentionally about the problem of loneliness in the aging. How might you offer the friendship of Jesus today?

If you would like to join the Numbering Your Days Network, a free online community with biblical resources for the issues of aging, caregiving, legacy, and end-of-life, please use this link: https://numberingyourdaysnetwork.mn.co/share/B5q0dGGIOR0f996K?utm_source=manual


[i] Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. Life Together and Prayerbook of the Bible: Dietrich Bonhoeffer Works Vol. 5. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2004, 32.

[ii] Bonhoeffer, 32.

[iii] Sepncer Morgan, “Youths, Go Listen to Your Elders,” at https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/08/style/helping-senior-citizens.html.

[iv] Faith Hill, “The Curious Personality of Old Age,” https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/07/old-age-personality-brain-changes-psychology/674668/.

[v] Arthur C. Brooks, “How We Learned to Be Lonely,” at https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/01/loneliness-solitude-pandemic-habit/672631/.

[vi] By Jessica Lahey and Tim Lahey, “How Loneliness Wears on the Body,” at https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/12/loneliness-social-isolation-and-health/418395/.

[vii] Nicholas R. Nicholson, “A Review of Social Isolation,” at https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Nicholas-Nicholson-4/publication/228330427_A_Review_of_Social_Isolation_An_Important_but_Underassessed_Condition_in_Older_Adults/links/647a41fa2cad460a1bee3dd7/A-Review-of-Social-Isolation-An-Important-but-Underassessed-Condition-in-Older-Adults.pdf.

[viii] Bonhoeffer, 32.

[ix] Bonhoeffer, 32.