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A Prayer about Grieving an Approaching Death

A Prayer about Grieving an Approaching Death

When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.

Psalm 94:19

Everlasting Father,

Your word calls us to “rejoice with those who rejoice 

and weep with those who weep,” 

and today, we weep with those 

who watch and wait powerlessly 

as a loved one’s death day draws near. 

To the chaos of tubes and cords 

and beeps and hums 

of dim hospital rooms, 

we ask that you would bring 

stillness and peace.

To the fear of a loved one dying alone, 

we ask that you would bring 

the hope of Jesus’ welcome.

To the disappointment of a loved one dying 

in a way we would never wish, 

we ask that you would bring 

consolations that comfort.

Even as we raise these requests to you, 

we speak our grief: 

We are weary of sickness and pain.

We are weary of death and mourning. 

We are weary of saying good-bye.

We are weary of weeping.

In our grief, we speak our longing: 

How long oh Lord, 

until you return to give us resurrected bodies, 

whole and healthy?

How long oh Lord, 

until we behold the tree of life, 

with its healing leaves dancing in the wind?

How long oh Lord, 

until we see your face, 

and the night is no more? (See Revelation 22:1-5).

In our grief, 

may we hear your sure and certain promise,

“Behold, I am coming soon” (Revelation 22:7).

Read Psalm 94; Revelation 22. 



A Prayer about Flourishing in Old Age

A Prayer about Flourishing in Old Age

They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green….Psalm 92:14

Everlasting God,

We live in a world that urges us to fight aging, 

We live in a world that promises us eternal youth, 

if we will only apply this wrinkle cream, 

walk 10,000 steps a day, 

and eat kale salad for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 

While there’s nothing wrong 

with resisting some of the harsher effects of aging 

by exercising regularly and eating healthily, 

you have promised us something far better. 

Turn our hearts away from a narrow focus

on the physical effects of aging, 

that we might live out the righteousness 

you have imputed to us in Christ. 

For indeed, it is the “righteous 

[who] flourish like the palm tree 

and grow like a cedar in Lebanon” (Psalm 92:12). 

With our faith planted deeply in your Word, 

we will flourish in your eternal courts. 

With our hope firm like the roots of an ancient oak, 

we will “bear fruit in old age,” 

bringing forth new spiritual children 

until the day you call us home to you.

In Jesus’ righteous name. Amen.

Read Psalm 92.



A Prayer about How to Spend Our Last Forty Days

A Prayer about How to Spend Our Last Forty Days

Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

James 4:14, ESV

Everlasting God,

Forgive us for “boasting in our arrogance” (James: 4:13)

for the ways we fail to thank you 

for all of the good gifts you have given us, 

including each day of our lives 

and all provision for that day. 

May we heed 87-year-old theologian J. I. Packer’s instructions:**

“First, wake each day with the question, 

‘How do you want me to glorify and enjoy you today?’

Second, “Live practicing the presence of God in Christ”

 — yes, Lord, help us to listen to less of this world’s noise 

that we may rest 

in the gentle and lowly presence of our Savior.

Third, finish the course well: 

“Our last sprint should be a sprint indeed.” 

May we not waste our four or forty or four hundred or four thousand days 

on trivialities 

but may we spend each of them 

sharing the good news 

of our hope of glory 

in Jesus Christ 

by setting our affairs in order,  

by encouraging friends, family, strangers, and enemies, 

by forgiving our enemies inexcusable betrayals, 

and by speaking and writing 

the many stories of redemption 

you have written in our lives.

In Jesus’ living and dying and resurrected name. Amen.

**I highly recommend Packer’s little book, Finishing Our Course with Joy: Guidance from God for Engaging with Our Aging



A Prayer about Living like We’re Dying

A Prayer about Living like We’re Dying

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

Heavenly Father, 

In the novel I just read, 

a professor gives her college English students a short essay question: 

“What would you do if you knew 

you only had forty days left to live?”*

At its core, this is what Psalm 90:12 asks us to do, 

to “number our days,” 

to recognize that our earthly days have a limit, 

that our lives have an expiration date. 

We ask you to teach us, 

to show us how,

to remind us, 

to number our days, 

because when we do so, 

we get “a heart of wisdom.” 

We become 

forgiving, honoring, lamenting,

vulnerable, grateful, humble people, 

people who know the depths of your love for us 

and who can’t wait to share that love with others.

So today we ask you to help us to think or to journal, 

if only for a few minutes, 

about how we would spend our days 

if we only had forty of them left.

Read Psalm 71, Psalm 90; Psalm 92.

*From Book 3 of the Sensible Shoes Series by Sharon Garlough Brown.


A Prayer about Honoring the Aging

A Prayer about Honoring the Aging

The glory of the young is their strength;

the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.

Proverbs 20:29


   Everlasting Father,

In a world that often marginalizes or mocks the elderly, 

transform us into people who honor and value the elderly.

Even as we age, may we see your holy purposes for aging—

some may no longer have the energy to tend to babies all night long, 

but they do wake up in the night, 

and they can pray for those who do.

Some may no longer have the physical agility 

to perform skilled labor, 

but they do have years of experience 

and can teach those who do.

Some may no longer have the responsibilities 

of running a business, 

but they do have the ability and wisdom 

to give good counsel to those who do.

Lord, may we see the opportunities aging affords, 

and may we embrace not only our own aging, 

but the aging of others. 

May we see that you call the elderly 

to continue giving you glory 

by learning and leading every day of their lives. 

In Jesus’ redeeming name. Amen.

Read Proverbs 20:29; Titus 2:2-5; 1 Timothy 5:1 .



Living like We’re Dying

Living like We’re Dying

Hi Friends,

Coming to you today with a tough subject — how to prepare for death. And yet, one I believe many people want to know more about but are afraid to ask. If that’s you, I hope this gives some encouragement and guidance. (And I’d love to know…what are the questions you have about “Living like we’re dying”?)

Beyond the country song…

We’ve all heard the familiar encouragement to “Live like we’re dying,” perhaps even singing out the lyrics to Tim McGraw’s poignant country song. It’s all well and good to sing along to a country song, but to actually live as if we’re dying is much much harder, as the late Pastor Tim Keller discovered. He had already written a book on death and was writing a book on the resurrection when he was faced with the diagnosis of incurable pancreatic cancer. Asked about his terminal diagnosis, he said, “Basically, we all function as if we’re going to live forever…. We are in deep, deep denial about it. And the only way you know that is when you finally actually do get the kind of diagnosis that you may die within months or weeks that I did and you suddenly realize, ‘I didn’t really believe I was going to die. I really didn’t.’” 1. 

 As Pastor Keller faced the certainty of his imminent death, he discovered an unexpected spiritual blessing. When we realize our mortality, we recognize the power in the hope of resurrection. Furthermore, when we realize our mortality, we recognize the need to prepare for it. In preparing for our own inevitable death, we not only benefit spiritually but also find emotional comfort. Preparing for death also benefits our loved ones by giving them clarity and guidance in the midst of their grief. While the process of preparing for our own deaths is far more complex than a simple list can convey, we have to start somewhere. We can begin by focusing on four key areas: contemplating the hope of heaven, establishing our practical legacy, cultivating and sharing our spiritual legacy, and being intentional about our emotional legacy.

1. Prepare spiritually by contemplating the hope of heaven.

Many of us fear death, and that shouldn’t surprise us. Scripture tells us we’ve all been “held in slavery by [our] fear of death” (Hebrews 2:15). But Jesus came and died to “break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil…” (Hebrews 2:14). Therefore, we have hope. Jesus has defeated our last enemy, death, giving us the hope of heaven.

Sadly, too many of us are misinformed about heaven. Our imaginations have been stuffed with cartoons of St. Peter standing at the “pearly gates” with a clipboard; we have been sent greeting cards of people floating around on clouds with angel wings. It is little wonder that some people fear being bored in heaven and don’t really want to go there. 

We don’t know many details about heaven, but we do know enough to make us long to be there. First, we will be welcomed with great joy by our Savior, Jesus. We will be so overcome by the glory of the Triune God we will fall down in worship (Rev. 7:10-12). We will recognize loved ones there (see Matt. 17:1-3; Luke 16:19-31), and our surroundings will be “Paradise” (see Luke 23:43). In heaven, we will find the perfect rest we crave, rest for our bodies and rest for our souls. One day, the intermediate state of heaven will give way to the grand finale, the ending that is our truest beginning, life in the new heavens and new earth. In the new heavens and new earth, “Death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain.” (Rev. 21:5). It was the anticipated joy of heaven that led Pastor Tim Keller to say to his family the evening before his death, “I’m ready to see Jesus. I can’t wait to see Jesus. Send me home.” 2 

 

2. Prepare by establishing a practical legacy.

While some refer to it as “setting our affairs in order,” I prefer to call it a “practical legacy.” It involves organizing our end-of-life wishes, financial information, digital legacy, and essential documents, all of which serve as a practical gift to those who will handle the final details of our lives even as they grieve.

At the minimum, we should gather what I call the “first four”: our will, advance directive, durable power of attorney, and passwords. After gathering these four things, we can focus on getting other important documents and financial information together. Ideally, we will gather these things into one safe and secure place. Communicating with our loved ones about what we’ve gathered and where to find it is an important part of this process. When you gather these essentials now, you save your loved ones the heartache of having to ask you to do it when you are all in the turmoil of a significant health crisis.

For more information about gathering your practical legacy and/or for assistance in doing this, join the waiting list for our next Organizing Your Life and Legacy workshop here.

 

3. Prepare by cultivating and sharing your spiritual legacy.

In Psalm 78, Asaph called the Israelites to remember and tell the wonders God had done in the wilderness so future generations would grow in faith and hope and love. In short, he encouraged them to pass on their spiritual legacy. As we share our stories, lessons, wisdom, and experience, we have the opportunity to show God’s merciful and mighty redemptive work in our lives.

To share parts of her story, my mother used a booklet called the Obitkit, in which she answered simple questions about her life. Surprisingly, even the simplest of questions revealed new insights into my mother’s story. Asked about her best subject in school, my mother responded, “Almost every subject, except PE, which kept me from getting valedictorian.” While I had always known my mother was smart, I had never realized her lack of athletic prowess prevented her from getting valedictorian. As you think about sharing your spiritual legacy, remember that even seemingly simple stories can give new insights into how God has shaped you. 

In addition to passing on stories, we can share skills, family history, and blessings. Consider your specific skills or expertise that will benefit others— how to make that famous Texas sheet cake, how to drive on ice, how to pack for a long vacation. Share family history, knowing that the next generation may not seem interested now but will likely become interested after you’re gone. Preserve your family’s heritage by passing on photographs and stories. In addition, write or speak blessings to others. Like Isaac blessing Jacob, affirm the unique qualities and gifts of family members, leaving them with words that honor their God-given identity.

4. Prepare by being intentional about your emotional legacy.

In his book The Four Things That Matter Most, Dr. Ira Byock, a palliative care physician, provides recommendations for fostering meaningful relationships at the end of life: “Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.” 3 

In the final chapter of the book, Byock adds a fifth task, saying goodbye. By attending to these tasks before we approach the end of life, we can create an emotional legacy that brings comfort, peace, and hope to our loved ones. 

 Following the example of Jesus, who bid farewell to his disciples before his death in the Upper Room Discourse (John 13-17), we can express our love to family and friends and be intentional about saying good-bye. We can reassure our loved ones with our confidence that we are going to the place prepared for us by Christ. As forgiven individuals, we can ask for forgiveness from others and extend our own forgiveness, understanding that forgiveness does not minimize harm but releases our desire to make others pay. As people who have much to be grateful for, we can express gratitude to our loved ones through letters, calls, texts, or hugs.

Live like you’re dying

Martin Luther, 16th century pastor and theologian, spoke frequently about preparing for death. Though he didn’t use the words “Live like you’re dying,” he advised people to prepare to die while they were still healthy. Doing so, he said, would allow them to focus on their Savior when the end approached. While advances in medicine and practices around dying make death seem more remote from us, death remains non-negotiable. We will die; the only question is when. When we begin preparing for death now, we will find peace and hope in the gospel and we will leave a lasting legacy that comforts, guides, and inspires future generations. 

Friends, I hope this article has encouraged you in hard places. I’d love to know about your struggles and successes in “living like you’re dying”…what hard things have you done or have you seen others do to prepare for death?

 

1. Tyler Huckabee, “Tim Keller on Facing Death (and Resurrection),” RELEVANT, March 2, 2021, https://relevantmagazine.com/magazine/tim-keller-on-facing-death-and-resurrection/.

 

2. Tim Keller, Quoted by his son, Michael Keller on Twitter, May 19, 2023. 

 

3. Ira Byock, The Four Things That Matter Most – 10th Anniversary Edition: A Book About Living(New York: Free Press, 2004), 7.