A Prayer about the Day of No More Tears

A Prayer about the Day of No More Tears

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4

Healing Lord,

Today we pray for all who have lost loved ones in the past year. 

We are camping out in the hope 

of the Day to come 

when there will be no more death, 

nor mourning, nor crying, 

nor pain. 

In these remarkable final chapters of your Word, 

you give us a glimpse of what that day will be like:

We will live in safety and our identity secure in you,

because you will dwell with us (Revelation 21:3).

We will see Jesus face to face, 

and his name will be engraved on our forehead (Revelation 22:4).

We will drink for free and we will drink freely 

from the river of the water of life. 

We will dine lavishly

 on the fruit of the tree of life (Revelation 21:6; 22:1).

We will marvel at your majesty, 

and we will long to serve you and no other (Revelation 22:3).

We will enjoy peaceful community 

of people from every tribe and tongue and nation (Revelation 21:4; 22:2).

There’s more, so much more, 

to that day 

which will last forever. 

We believe your promise, 

“Surely, I am coming soon,” 

and we cry in response, 

“Come, Lord Jesus.”

In your hope-giving name. Amen.

Read Revelation 21-22. 

6 Steps to Creating a Practical Legacy

6 Steps to Creating a Practical Legacy

“I told my neighbor I was taking this workshop, and she said, ‘I’m not doing a thing. They can figure it all out after I’m gone.’”

A member of my Organizing Your Life and Legacy workshop shared this comment with our group, and we all shook our heads sadly. The comment doesn’t surprise us—death has become a taboo subject in our culture, less open for discussion than politics and sex.

Reasons abound for death’s denial and distancing, including fear of death, denial of death, and removal of death from the home to the hospital. And yet, like it or not, we’re all dying.

How Scripture Prepares Us for Death

Christians have an advantage as we prepare for death—we can look to Scripture, which helps us understand why people die and offers us hope for life after death. Death resulted from Adam and Eve’s sin for God had warned them that in the day they ate of the tree, they would “surely die” (Genesis 2:17). Jesus died on a cross for our sins: “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness” (1 Pet. 2:24). Because Jesus rose from the dead, those who trust in him for salvation need no longer fear death: “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live…” (John 11:25). Armed with an understanding of death and the confidence of life everlasting, we can face our mortality and prepare for death.

Create a Practical Legacy

Psalm 90:12 exhorts us, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” One way to number our days is to plan for our death by gathering the essential information our loved ones will need if we are incapacitated or have died. To create what I call a “practical legacy,” divvy up the process into six actionable steps and then schedule times each week or each month to work on them.

  1. Prepare an advance directive.

Also known as a “living will,” an advance directive helps to guide medical care decisions in the case of incapacitation. It allows you to appoint a health care proxy or surrogate and to indicate what kind of treatment you would wish for or decline in medical crisis. My husband and I have used Five Wishes to prepare ours, but you can also find simple directives on most state or hospital websites. Two books that offer helpful biblical counsel on preparing advance directives are Dr. Bill Davis’ Departing in Peace: Biblical Decision-Making at the End of Life and Dr. Kathryn Butler’s Between Life and Death: A Gospel-Centered Guide to End of Life Medical Care. For more thoughts on medicalized dying, see this article. Considering our own incapacitation and imagining different scenarios at the end of life can be intimidating, but when we clarify and communicate our wishes, we bless our loved ones with an indispensable guide to making difficult decisions at a grievous time.

  1. Give one trusted person access to your important passwords.

In a day in which phones and other devices hold valuable confidential information, it’s essential to keep them secure with a password and to share that password with one trusted person. Additionally, gather all your essential passwords. While my eighty-three-year-old mother recorded hers in a basic Word document, and that sufficed, most of us will need to use a password keeper like Lastpass or 1Password to contain all of this information more securely.

  1. Appoint a Durable Power of Attorney. 

Appoint someone who will have the legal power to act on your behalf if you are incapacitated or have died. My mother had appointed me as her power of attorney and put my name on her checking account before she died. Thanks to her foresight, paying her bills after her death did not involve jumping through legal hoops. It can help to make your durable power of attorney and health care surrogate the same person.

  1. Make a will and appoint an executor. 

Make a will and appoint someone to oversee handling your affairs after your death. An estate lawyer I spoke with suggests that we visit a lawyer to prepare our wills, noting that online documents do not usually suffice except in the case of very simple estates with few assets.

  1. Gather essential information. 

Not only will your family benefit if you gather all of the details of your life into one place, but you also benefit. Can you imagine the peace of knowing exactly where to locate details about your medical history, personal history, insurance information, titles and deeds, credit cards, bills, and methods of payment, etc.? Although it is not written by a Christian, the book Get It Together: Organize Your Records So Your Family Won’t Have To offers a comprehensive guide to help you in this process.

  1. Make decisions about burial or cremation and end of life services.

Considering what will happen to our body after we die may be hard for us, but imagine the peace we can give to our loved ones by doing so. One of our workshop participants shared an inspiring story of her twenty-five-year-old niece: her father had died when she was twenty-two, and he had left a practical legacy. She was inspired to write out her own wishes for the end of her life. When she died three years later in a tragic accident, this legacy provided great comfort to her mother in her distress.

While it is daunting to consider the end of our lives, as Christians, we face death with hope, the hope of resurrection. Given that hope, we can enter hard decisions now to prepare a practical legacy that will guide and comfort our loved ones in their season of grief. Call a friend today and encourage and assist one another in the process of preparing a practical legacy. In addition to preparing our practical legacy, we will also want to leave a spiritual legacy, passing on the wisdom we have gained to the next generation. We’ll discuss how to create a spiritual legacy in part two of this series.

Medicalized Dying: How to Make Wise Decisions for the End of Life

Medicalized Dying: How to Make Wise Decisions for the End of Life

Dear Friends,

This month we tackle a tough but important topic. I had never heard the phrase “medicalized dying” until I began doing an independent study for my D. Min. program on death, dying, and eternal life. But when we think about it, we’ve all witnessed or heard stories of its impact—whether for good or for ill. You may know someone who died in the hospital, even though they wished to die at home. Or you may know someone who died at home with family and friends around them, singing them into glory. As you read this article, I hope you’ll learn some new things and begin to have conversations with your loved ones about wisdom at the end of life. I hope you’ll even consider preparing an advance directive to guide your loved ones. I truly believe that knowing how to think wisely about medicalized dying will benefit you, a family member, or a friend.

Here’s a question for you. Please respond in the comments or by emailing me directly. I’d love to hear.

Share about someone who “died well” from your point of view.

Medicalized Dying

The patient was an emaciated eighty-eight-year-old man whose late-stage cancer had spread to his bones and his brain. When his breathing stopped, a code was called, and a team of medical personnel—doctors, nurses, techs, social workers, and chaplains rushed to his room. Performing their choreographed tasks, they restored his breathing. But in order to do so, they had to insert a breathing tube into his airway, and he had to be placed on a ventilator and moved to the ICU. The team knew it was only a matter of time before his heart stopped again. He was dying. Dr. L. S. Dugdale, the attending physician and author of The Lost Art of Dying, asked the daughter if she would like to have a Do Not Resuscitate order in place so he wouldn’t have to endure the physical trauma of being resuscitated again. The daughter adamantly refused, saying that she was a Christian, and that she believed God would work a miracle. As Dr. Dugdale says, “It seems curious that the people who believe most fervently in divine healing cling most doggedly to the technology of mortals.”[1]

No doubt, many of us are alive today because of post-World-War-II medical advances such as antibiotics, surgery, and chemotherapy. We are grateful for modern medicine. And yet, modern medical advances have led to something doctors and theologians alike refer to as “medicalized death.” “In ‘medicalized’ dying death is regarded as the great enemy to be defeated by the greater powers of science and medicine.”[2]  A variety of life-sustaining measures such as CPR, dialysis, ventilators, artificial nutrition, and more, exist. In order to “glorify God in our bodies” (see 1 Cor. 6:20), we do want to seek and accept medical care which is likely to “maintain or restore health” by “ordinary means.”[3] At the same time, we recognize that “God’s Word…[makes] it possible to decline or discontinue life-sustaining treatment,” at the end of life.[4]

While we can make biblically and prayerfully informed decisions about which life-sustaining treatments to accept at the end-of-life, studies show that Christians tend to be far more likely to choose aggressive medical measures at the end of life than non-Christians. When we take the time in advance of crisis to educate ourselves about such measures and to understand the biblical principles which guide us, we will be better prepared to make wise and loving decisions in difficult moments. As we consider prayerfully what it looks like to glorify God at the end of life and what quality of spiritual life we want to enjoy, we can make advance directives that guide our loved ones about our wishes and bring them peace in painful moments.

Aggressive Measures at the End-of-Life: What We Need to Know

One thing we need to know about aggressive measures at the end of life is that TV does not portray them accurately. Consider TV CPR. On TV, the monitor shows that the heart has stopped, a code is called, people rush in, someone yells “Clear!” the heart is shocked, and the rhythm returns. By the end of the episode the patient is well and leaves the hospital. In reality, ribs are often fractured, blood is often spilled, the patient is always placed on a ventilator and moved to ICU, and only ten percent of hospital patients recover after CPR.[5]. This does not mean that we should never allow CPR; it does mean that a person near the end of life and/or with a terminal illness should pray about whether or not to have a Do Not Resuscitate order.

In the same way, mechanical ventilators, which “support breathing in the setting of respiratory failure,” dialysis, which “replaces kidney function, most commonly by filtering blood through a machine,” artificially administered nutrition, which is delivered “through tubes entering our gastrointestinal tract” or “via catheters placed in large veins,”[6] among other medical measures, are complex and need to be considered carefully at the end of life. While they may have much to offer a relatively healthy patient to restore health, they may act only to prolong death in a dying person. For this reason, we need to approach them prayerfully, armed with biblical principles. As Dr. Kathryn Butler explains, “Our path requires careful review of the factors influencing survival and reflection upon Scripture to do as God requires: ‘to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God’ (Mic. 6:8). In short, we need to determine when to press on and when to relax into the embrace of our Lord.”[7]

Biblical Principles Concerning End-of-Life Measures

After educating ourselves about end-of-life measures, we can use biblical principles to guide us as we consider the options. In her book, Between Life and Death: A Gospel-Centered Guide to End-of-Life Medical Care, Dr. Butler recommends considering four biblical principles:

1. Sanctity of Life

The Lord who created male and female in his image (Gen. 1:26), the Lord who “gives to all mankind life and breath and everything” (Acts 17:25), has written dignity into the very being and body of every human.

2. God’s authority over life and death

God rules over the life and death of something as ordinary as a sparrow (Matt. 10:29), and God rules over the life and death of his creation. When considering which measures to accept or refuse at the end of life, we must remember, “Sanctity of life does not refute the certainty of death.”[8]

3. Mercy and Compassion

We should be guided by compassion for the person at the end of life and should seek to bring comfort without inflicting further suffering. A compassionate approach takes into account a person’s wishes for the ability to connect with God and with others.

4. Hope in Christ

Because Christ has defeated death, and because we have the hope of resurrection (1 Cor. 15:52-55), we need not fear death but can anticipate the day of our homecoming.

In his book, Departing in Peace: Biblical Decision-Making at the End of Life, Dr. Bill Davis, philosophy professor, discusses over thirty biblical principles that help to guide us in a wide variety of end-of-life decisions.

Quality of Life Considerations

Armed with sound biblical principles, we can also consider the implications of choices we make at the end of life.

Hospital or Home

Many aggressive end-of-life measures require being in the hospital, often in the ICU, where limitations are placed on visits from family and friends. For this reason, the person is often isolated in their final days and moments. A 2017 Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that 71 percent of Americans would prefer to die at home.[9] If remaining at home with family and friends is our desire for the end of life, we need to know which measures would allow us to do so.

Financial Considerations

Although we struggle to accept this reality in America, the cost of some treatments can be prohibitive. Dr. Davis makes some excellent points about our responsibility to pay for treatments we choose and to take into account stewardship of our finances, particularly as it concerns end-of-life measures. Consider, for example, a woman who had already been through rounds of chemotherapy to survive breast cancer. Years later, when she was diagnosed with late-stage pancreatic cancer, the doctors gave her little hope for survival. They recommended a costly experimental chemotherapy, saying it might add two months to her life expectancy of five months. The woman didn’t wish to spend her remaining time suffering the effects of the chemotherapy, and she didn’t want to spend her children’s inheritance on something that gave her so little extra time. Yet, many Christians were advising her that she must try the chemotherapy. Dr. Davis encouraged her with this biblical principle: “God’s Word requires us to make faithful use of all our talents, opportunities, and resources: time, energy, attention, and money.”[10] For this reason, and because “earthly life is not the highest good,”[11] this woman could reasonably decline the costly chemotherapy.

Spiritual Quality of Life

It is not only okay, but it is good to take into account our desires for a spiritual quality of life at the end of life. As we prepare our advance directives, we will want to ask questions like, “Will this option allow me to take in the ordinary means of grace—prayer, fellowship, communion, meditating on God’s Word?” In considering end-of-life stewardship of our bodies and our resources, we should ask not only, “What do I want?” but also “How will this option allow me to receive God’s love and continue to glorify God?” In making spiritual quality of life a goal for the end of life, we will demonstrate to others that whether we live or we die, our chief end is to enjoy and glorify God.

Dear friends, it is not easy to think about the end of our lives, but it is wise, and it is kind. Decisions about end-of-life medical options fall to our loved ones 50 percent of the time.[12] Let us faithfully steward the good gift of our bodies by learning more about medicalized dying and deciding how to wisely employ medical measures far in advance of crisis.

What about you? Have you ever heard the phrase “medicalized dying”? What experiences with the death of a loved one and end-of-life measures have you had? How have they made you think about what you would want at the end of your life? (Please share any or all thoughts in the comments or by emailing me directly. We’d all benefit from hearing your experience and thoughts.)

Elizabeth Reynolds Turnage is an author, life and legacy coach, and speaker who helps you live, prepare, and share your practical and spiritual legacy.

A Prayer about the Hope for Our Bodies

A Prayer about the Hope for Our Bodies

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…John 1:14

Lord Jesus,

As we celebrate your incarnation, 

which literally means “enfleshing”, 

may we not miss the wonder 

that you became a human body. 

May we see the beauty of the bodies 

our Creator God formed for each of us to inhabit, 

and may we thank God for this precious gift. 

May we see how the fall broke our bodies, 

making us know shame 

in our minds, spirits, and bodies (Genesis 3:1-8).

May we marvel at the truth 

author John W. Kleinig describes:

you “took on a human body 

to reclaim us bodily 

for fellowship with God the Father” 

and because you did, 

“our bodies once again become 

what they were meant to be.” 

In union with you, 

we share your holiness 

as we are filled with the Holy Spirit. 

In union with you, 

we “share in God’s hidden glory 

and display it by word and deed 

to the world.” * 

Throughout this season, 

every time we think of the incarnation, 

may we rejoice in the hope 

of the full redemption of our bodies 

we will experience when you return.

In your embodied name. Amen. 

Read John 1:14-18; Genesis 3:1-8; Romans 8:23. 

Quotes from John W. Kleinig, Fearfully Made: A Protestant Theology of the Body

Get Elizabeth’s Advent devotional for free here: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/34no8c805q.

A Prayer about Missing People and Places at the Holidays

A Prayer about Missing People and Places at the Holidays

“My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God. Psalm 84:2

Gracious and Hospitable Lord,

As Thanksgiving comes around, 

our family misses my mom and her home. 

For many years, we visited her there, 

but her home now belongs to another; 

her new home is in heaven with you.

I know many face a similar sorrow. 

It will be their first holiday without their loved one. 

In a season when we may feel exiled from familiar places, 

draw our hearts to your ever-present 

and always abundant hospitality. 

You make homes for sparrows and nests for swallows (Psalm 84:3),

and you have invited us to be your sons and daughters. 

Even as we limp through the Valley of Weeping,

You make it a place of springs (Psalm 84:6), 

refreshing our hearts with your gentleness and joy.

When we tend to believe the lie that we are bereft, 

remind us that you are our “sun and shield,” 

bestowing “favor and honor”, 

assuring us, “No good thing 

do I withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).  

In the name of your Son, 

who came to walk this earth with us 

that we might live in heaven with you. 

Amen.

Read Psalm 84.

 

A Prayer about Lamenting Chronic Illness

A Prayer about Lamenting Chronic Illness

For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help. Psalm 22:24

 Good Father,

Today we lift up our friends 

who have searched and searched and searched,

 who have waited and waited and waited

…for health, for wholeness, for healing. 

We join in their lament 

using the words of David:

“My God, my God, 

why have you forsaken me? 

Why are you so far from saving me?”

[Don’t you hear my groaning?]

“O my God, I cry by day, 

but you do not answer, 

and by night, but I find no rest” (Ps. 22:2).

How we thank you, Heavenly Father, 

that you have given voice to our lament 

in your Word.

As David names his grief to you, 

he remembers his reason to trust in you, 

and he asks boldly and persistently for help. 

We join him on behalf of all of our friends 

who have suffered for years:

“In you our ancestors put their trust;

 they trusted and you delivered them” (Ps. 22:4).

“Be not far from me, for trouble is near, 

and there is none to help” (Ps. 22:11).

As we raise our cry for help, 

may we remember that you are the good Father, 

and may we join with David in praising you, 

for we have even more reason to hope: 

your Son, our Savior was forsaken on the cross 

that we might be forgiven, 

that we might one day live with you 

in eternal glory, 

in whole and healed bodies forever and ever. 

Read Psalm 22.