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A New Woman’s Story

by | Mar 3, 2020 | A Woman's Story, Gospel Coaching, Gospel living

A New Woman’s Story

A New Woman’s Story for International Women’s Day

What’s new? As March begins, we’ll be considering the theme of “new” things, and today, in honor of International Women’s Day (March 8), I’m going to tell about a new – very old – way of understanding a woman’s story. It is new because it challenges many of the current understandings of a woman’s story. It is old because it is the first story ever told about women.

Let’s look at the structure of the Biblical story to see how God has written a woman’s story.

1.  Creation (Gen. 1:26-31; Gen. 2:18-23). Women were created with dignity and purpose for God’s glory.

  • God created women with dignity, differentiation, and dominion. God created women alongside men to join together in praise and purpose.
  • If you are a woman, you, together with man, are created in the image of God – you reflect God’s glory.
  • God created women different from men, described in Hebrew as  “ezer kenegdo” (Gen. 2:18), which literally means “helpers as corresponding to” a man. (To give you an idea of the strength implied by the word “ezer,” take note that the word is used mainly to refer to God in Scripture).
  • Women, with men, have a crucial mission, summarized in the mandate, “be fruitful and multiply and have dominion over the earth.” While being fruitful and multiplying does refer to childbirth, it also refers to multiplying God’s majesty on earth. Women can be fruitful and multiply as scientists, missionaries, housecleaners, firefighters, mothers, and wives, among many other things.

2.                  Fall (Gen. 3:1-19). Women are sinners who have fallen short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23).

  • Women sin. (Men are complicit in woman’s sin when they fail to speak into their lives and lead as God instructed (Gen. 3:6)). Women (like men) are easily seduced by things that seem pleasing to the eye, things that promise to give us the control we desperately want, things that we think will crown us the Queen of our Own Universe.
  • Women feel shame (as do men). Women feel shame over their sin and want to hide from God (Gen. 3:7).
  • Because of the Fall, women also at times experience shame for sins perpetrated by others; emotional, physical, or sexual abuse cause deep wounds.
  • Women suffer from a curse – physical and emotional pain in our bodies, relational pain resulting from loneliness, and the temptation to control and manipulate the men in our lives (Gen. 3:16).

3.                  Redemption (Gen. 3:8-9; 2 Cor. 5:17-21). God has redeemed women and freed us to live our stories for his glory.

  • God pursues women (and men) in our sin. He goes looking for us in hiding, even when he already knows where we are (Gen. 3: 8-9).
  • God dignified a woman with the mission of bearing the offspring that will defeat the evil one once and for all (Gen. 3:15; Matthew 1:18).
  • He covers our shame, both with clothing (Gen.3:21), and through a Savior who will die for our sins and cover us with his righteousness (2 Cor. 5: 21).
  • When women realize our own works are rubbish (as are men’s) (Phil. 3:8) and turn to Christ as our only Savior (repentance and faith), we are freed from the shame that has defined us. No longer “not enough,” we are made “more than enough” in Christ.
  • Redeemed women now live for Christ as new creation – yes, struggling with sin until the day he returns (Romans 7:18-19), but nonetheless new and becoming more like him every day (1 John 3:2).

4.                  Consummation (Rev. 21-22). God will one day fully restore a woman’s peace, and we will rest and enjoy his honor, glory, and love.

  • One day, Christ will return to claim the church as his bride (Rev. 21:2). God will be with women and men, and he will wipe every tear from our eyes (Rev. 21:3-5).
  • At the end of the story, when sanctification is completed in glorification, we will begin a new and unending story of living as we were created to live (Rev. 21:5). Women and men will no longer be divided; no longer will we suffer from our own selfish demands. We won’t murder our friends or family with mean words. We won’t be tired by our exhaustive efforts to please people; we won’t be torn by our desire to be known and our fear of being known.
  • We will love to be loved and we will love to love.

A Prayer for a Woman’s Story

On this week leading up to International Women’s Day, let’s take time to pray for the women of the world and the women in our lives.

Creator God,

We thank you for the way you created the first woman, Eve, and endowed all women with strength and dignity, dominion and purpose. We are glad you made women and men different; we praise you for creating male and female in your image.

Women: Forgive us for the harm we have done as women — seeking our own way, trying to manipulate and control our worlds, grasping for power that was meant for You alone.

Men: Forgive us for the harm we have done as men — misusing authority to oppress and suppress women, failing to honor the wisdom and unique insight of women, and even demeaning women by treating them as our objects rather than Your subjects.

Thank you that you are redeeming and renewing us as women and men day by day. Thank you for writing a new story in a woman’s heart, for freeing us from slavery and clothing us with your righteousness. Thank you for creating us anew and giving us a fresh vision for who you have called us to be!

We pray for restoration for all of the women of the world. We lift up especially women who are abused and trafficked, women who do not have equal opportunities for education, women who are treated in ways Jesus never would have treated them. Bring hope to the dark places of women’s lives. Come Lord Jesus, come soon, to complete your renewing and reconciling work among all the women of the world.

In the name of the Savior who loved women perfectly we pray,
Amen.

 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

When God Changes Our Plans

by | Jan 28, 2020 | Caregiving, Devotional, Gospel Coaching

When God Changes Our Plans

​This month, as we complete our series on planning and as I recover from hip replacement surgery, I am sharing an excerpt from The Waiting Room: 60 Meditations for Finding Peace & Hope in a Health Crisis.

 ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’ Jeremiah 29:11, NLT

  • I was planning to write a devotional or perhaps a book on how to keep a prayer journal.
  • Our son was planning to move to Ithaca, NY to begin a masters program in vocal performance.
  • My husband and I were planning to travel to New York City to celebrate our 35th anniversary.

Before the CT that changed everything, we had plans, and they weren’t bad plans. But God had something different in mind. There is nothing like a health crisis to redirect our attention from our plans for life on this earth to God’s plans for our eternal lives, starting…now. As 88-year-old J.I. Packer, renowned theologian, affirmed after learning that he had macular degeneration,

“God knows what he’s up to…. And I’ve had enough experiences of his goodness in all sorts of ways not to have any doubt about the present circumstances…. Some good, something for his glory, is going to come out of it.”[i]

I’m afraid we too often quote Jeremiah 29:11 and its hopeful note of “plans for good, plans with a future and a hope” without considering the context in which it was written. The Israelites, God’s people, have been exiled to Babylon from their home in Jerusalem after repeated disobedience and multiple warnings to repent. The Lord directs the Israelites to seek and pray for the welfare of Babylon, to build houses and marry and have children there, even as they wait for the Lord to return them to their home. The stint in Babylon was all part of God’s greater plan to bless the Israelites and to bless the world.

Just as God planned redemption and restoration for the Israelites, he has worked his redemption plan for Christians. The plan is for our Christlikeness to be magnified and for his gospel to be multiplied. If we trust in God’s plan, we have hope when disaster apparently befalls us. We are to continue seeking his face, even in the exile of the waiting room. As we wait, we know that God is completing the good work that he has begun in us (Phil. 1:6), and that one day soon Christ will return and restore all broken things. Such are God’s glorious plans for a future and a hope that we are looking forward to as we wait.

Prayer

Lord, help us to understand that our plans too often focus on building “houses” here: careers, families, wealth. Your plans far exceed ours, as you are intent on building us into a temple, a people who glorify you in all that we are and all that we do. Thank you that you have a better plan for us. Amen.

Further Encouragement

Read Jeremiah 29:1-11; Philippians 1:6, and 1 John 3:2.

For Reflection: What plans of yours or a loved one have been disrupted? Ask God to help you trust him as he works his good plan in your life.

[i] J.I. Packer, in interview with Ivan Mesa, J. I. Packer, 89, “On Losing Sight But Seeing Christ,” Gospel Coalition, January 14, 2016, https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/j-i-packer-89-on-losing-sight-but-seeing-christ/. Accessed May 2, 2018.

A Good Read for Hard Times: The Waiting Room Devotional

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5 Story Questions for the New Year

by | Jan 7, 2020 | Gospel Coaching, Gospel living

5 Story Questions for the New Year

Does the new year seem like old news to you by now?

We have long since toasted the new year with champagne or fizzy grape juice, watched a ball or bird drop somewhere, and cheered (or yelled) ourselves hoarse over now-nearly-forgotten football games. We’ve eaten our collards, pork, and black-eyed peas, made our resolutions, and already broken many, if not all of them.

I resist making resolutions, because for me, they usually mean “things I will accomplish through my determined will and human effort,” and that’s a complete setup for disaster. Instead, I think about stories.

Why we should mark our stories in the new year:

This time of year is a great one for marking our stories, remembering where we have been, thinking about where we are now, and considering where we are going. As we view what God has done in our lives through the year(s), some general themes start to emerge. We remember our purpose and calling, one of which is as The Message puts it, “Go after love as if your life depended on it, because it does.” (I Cor. 14:1).

Consider these five questions as this chapter of a new year begins:

  1. What events have happened in my life and in my heart in the last year? What tragedy and/or redemption do I see?
  2. Where am I now? Think emotionally, spiritually, circumstantially.
  3. What might God have for me in the coming year or years? What new freedoms in Christ might I experience?
  4. Who are the people who will support and encourage me as I step into these hopes and dreams?
  5. How must I depend on the Holy Spirit to act in grace? How may God be glorified?

I’d love to hear how you answer some of these questions. Please share them in the comments or join me on my Facebook page, Elizabeth Reynolds Turnage, Author, for discussion.

A Prayer about Living in God’s Story of Grace

Lord, you know our hearts inside and out. You designed us for your glory even before we were born. In your son, Jesus, you have re-created us to do good works (Eph. 2:10). By your Spirit, we ask you to reveal your plan for us and empower us to “go after love as if our life depended on it” (1 Cor. 14:1, MSG). Amen.

How Do You Plan to Live Your Story

by | Dec 31, 2019 | Gospel Coaching

How Do You Plan to Live Your Story

Happy New Year!

It’s New Year’s Eve, the day/night when many people make resolutions they will break before sundown on New Year’s Day. I’m not much of a resolution-maker since I’m such a promise-breaker, but I do love to spend some time looking back over the previous year and looking forward to what God might do in the new year. If you’d like to join me in any part of this, here’s the blog version. If you’d like the prettier version with lines for writing answers, then be sure to subscribe to the blog, and you’ll get a PDF in your (e)-mailbox!

The “Where Have I Been, Where Am I Going” Planning Exercise

Background: This enlightening exercise helps us survey what God has done in the past and draws us to look for what he will do in the future. When we are persuaded that God is presently working his kingdom plan, we are motivated to set goals and keep running the race toward them with endurance.

Suggestions: Either schedule out four thirty-minute periods over the next week or one two-three-hour planning session (put it on your calendar or it won’t happen). Or, gather for a planning session with some friends or your small group or your spouse; work together and separately on it.

Part 1

  1. Ask, “Where have I been?”
  2. Ask God to remind you of the significant events, changes, accomplishments, and losses of the past year.
  3. Write down your top three in a short sentence or phrase. (Remember, things actually change in our brain when we write).
  4. Look at major areas of your life (relationships, spiritual and emotional health, work, finances, play) and write two-three sentences about changes you saw, for better or for worse, in 2019. (In the Story Planner Exercise, I provide a fancy grid for this, but you can make your own).

Part 2

  1. Ask, “Where are you going?”
  2. Pray, “Lord, show me where to go.”
  3. Write down the top three events/stories/challenges/goals you would like to see accomplished in 2020.
  4. Look at major areas of your life (relationships, spiritual and emotional health, work, finances, play) and write two-three sentences about changes you want to see in 2020.

Part 3: Write Your Story

  1. Pray about which story to write.
  2. Now, write for ten minutes. Choose one of the top three and write an imaginative story as if the goal were accomplished. Date it: January 1, 2021.

Here is my example:
Prayer: Lord, show me which goals matter to you the most.
Ex. I want to hear from at least ten people that my devotional, The Waiting Room, helped them find peace and hope as they waited during a health crisis.
So I will write a “fictional” but also a faithful and hopeful account of how that happened.

Author’s note: The above example is taken from last year’s exercise, and guess what? That happened! I heard from many, many people how The Waiting Room has encouraged them as they walked through a health crisis! Thank God for that sweet answer to prayer!

To help you write the story, you can answer the following questions:

  1. What concrete actions did you take?
  2. What challenges did you meet?
  3. What actions did you take to overcome the challenges?
  4. Who prayed for you, encouraged you, kept you going?
  5. What did you see God do in the process?

Part 4: Make Your Plan
(In the Story Plan Exercise, there’s also a nifty chart for this, but you can make your own).

  1. Review the “imaginary actions” you took to accomplish your goal.
  2. Make your plan of action. Write down three things:
  • What four-five steps do I need to take?
  • Next to each step, write the date for it to be completed.
  • Put a reminder on your calendar to make a note about the outcome—if you completed the step and what happened if you did.

Now you know what to do. If you try it, I’d love to know how it works for you, what you learn through doing it, how I could improve it (there’s always room for improvement!)

A Prayer about Making Goals and Plans for 2020

Lord God,

We are so glad that you are the ruler over our lives. You planned and created the world, and yet, you have taken the time to make plans for the good works we will do to advance your kingdom and to bring you glory. Thank you for the opportunities you give us. Thank you for the grace you show us. Help us to live the story of faith, hope, and love you have written for us. Amen.

 

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How to Overcome 5 Common Fears of Sharing Your Story

by | Jun 4, 2019 | Gospel Coaching, Learning Story

How to Overcome 5 Common Fears of Sharing Your Story

First Fears of Story Sharing

Over twenty years ago, I held my first story feast. One day, at the end of the moms’ group I led, I passed out a one-page handout with some prompts, reflection questions, and a quick guide for writing a redemption story. I enthusiastically explained that in two weeks we would gather over rich fare to share the amazing stories of our lives.

My beloved moms responded with a collective face-fall. I was shocked—it had never occurred to me that my enthusiasm for sharing stories would not be met with equal excitement by our little band of mothers. And yet, they looked like they had been tossed back to a tenth grade English class and assigned a pop essay which they knew would soon be scarred with red pen.

Here’s the thing. For most of my life, I have processed my thoughts and feelings by writing things down. I learned as a young child that my journal was a (fairly) safe place to record the stories of my life. At fifteen, as a new Christian, I learned that scribbling out Bible verses and prayers helped me to memorize Scripture and pay attention to what I was praying. Over the years, I also learned that journaling helped me to see the contours of the story God was writing—in my life, in the world, in Scripture.

My First Story Feasts

Not only did I learn to write down my stories as a young Christian, I also discovered the benefit of sharing stories in community. At Pioneer Plunge, a Young Life camp where I first attended as a camper and later worked as kitchen coordinator, there was no TV. In fact, we were completely unplugged. We worked hard clearing trees to build new structures on the campsite, so we were hungry and tired at mealtimes. We sat for over an hour around homemade bread and homegrown tomatoes, resting and recharging, talking about the day. One feature of every mealtime was the “life story.” Over the two-week session, huddled around the handmade picnic tables, each camper would have the spotlight, the opportunity to tell about his or her life.Are you eager to learn and grow in sharing your story? Or, do your palms begin to sweat when I even bring up the topic? Learn to share your story! Share on X

I’m not sure why I wasn’t afraid to jump right in when it was my turn. I always began my story with what seemed as a teenager like the beginning of my life as I knew it, “My parents were divorced when I was seven.”

Some days, we went around the table to answer questions like, “If you could have three living people to dinner, who would you have?” or “If you could be anything for a day, what would you be?” (This was way before “Would You Rather” games and instagram emoji stories!). The stories flowed and brought humor, insight, and hope, tightening the bonds of our little camping community.

That’s my story of stories, of how and why writing and sharing stories became a crucial part of my growth in understanding God and others. Since that first story feast with my moms twenty years ago, I’ve realized that not everyone feels so excited about sharing stories in community. What about you? Are you eager to learn and grow in sharing your story? Or, do your palms begin to sweat when I even bring up the topic? Over the years, I’ve discovered five main objections to writing and sharing stories. Today I’ll share the first two, and next week, the last three. Do you find yourself in any of these?

5 Reasons You Might Not Write and/or Share Your Stories (and How to Overcome Your Fears)

  1. I can’t write.

Sofia couldn’t write either. As a Bosnian-born woman who had very little schooling, her letters were poorly formed, and her language was heavy and broken. But guess what? When she began in broken English to recount her story of summers in Yugoslavia before Bosnia became independent, no one cared how good her grammar was. People were fascinated to hear her story, to know how God had brought her out of the terrible atrocities committed in Bosnia and gave her glimpses of redemption in the beauty of summer sunrises over the Mediterranean sea.

The fact is, when you tell a story that gives people more insight to who you are, how God made you, and what matters to you, how well you write or speak does not matter at all.

  1. I’m afraid to speak in public.

When Keisha, at twenty, the youngest attendee of a long-ago Story Feast, began telling of her years-long dream of vacationing at Disneyworld, you could see beads of sweat gathering on her face. Her voice quivered as she spoke. We strained to hear what she was saying. But after the first two minutes, when she saw the eager faces of older women leaning in to hear her story, she relaxed. The women cheered with joy as she reached the climax of her story—the day her parents surprised her by pretending to drive her to school but taking her instead to Disneyworld.

Given that speaking publicly is the number one fear in the world, surpassing death itself, it’s understandable to feel a little frightened about sharing your story. All the more reason to practice sharing stories with small groups of friends and acquaintances—as you look at the faces of those you fellowship with, you will remember that you’re not giving a Ted Talk for millions of viewers.

Subscribe to receive Part Two of this post in your inbox, three more reasons people don’t share their stories. 

Photo by Reuben Juarez on Unsplash

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How (and Why) to Write Your Mother’s Story

by | May 7, 2019 | Gospel Coaching, Learning Story, Mother's Day

How (and Why) to Write Your Mother’s Story

As we continue our focus on moms, this week we consider our own moms or mother figures in our lives. 

A story about writing a mother’s story

It had never occurred to me before, and I don’t know why it occurred to me now. We had been asked in a writer’s workshop I was attending to tell a story about bones, possibly broken bones. Well, I have a great broken bone story, so I was ready to dive right in. I would tell the story I’ve told many times before, about the day I shattered my elbow into twenty-five pieces when I was eleven. Our teacher set a timer for fifteen minutes and told us to write what happened.

That’s when it occurred to me, and I have to admit, I felt a little selfish that I’m almost fifty-seven years old, and it had never occurred to me before. I wondered, “What was that day like for my mom?” That’s when I decided to write the story from her perspective. Instead of telling my version of the story, I tried to picture what that day had been like for her. I began to write what I imagined might have happened. I wrote quickly for fifteen minutes and still had more to write when the timer ended.

How it changed me:

Rather than sharing what I wrote that day, I want to share what happened inside of me as I wrote what my mom might have gone through in that season:

Tears began to leak down my cheeks. I actually felt the terror she might have felt when she answered the phone and a strange voice on the other end of the line reported, “Your daughter has been in a bike accident!”

I wondered in writing:

  • What did it feel like for her when the policeman at the accident scene remarked, “Isn’t that her bone sticking out of her arm”?
  • What stress did she endure as a single working mom when her daughter was admitted to the hospital for three weeks?
  • What was it like to worry about the financial burden of two surgeries and countless hours of physical therapy placed on her and her ex-husband?

I felt something swelling inside of me—I’m pretty sure it was empathy for my mother.

The time has come but not passed (thankfully) for me to ask these questions and others about her stories. That day, I concluded my invented story with this observation:

When I was a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. The time has come to think like a grown-up daughter, to wonder about my mother’s story. The time has come to seek and to knock, to ask forgiveness and to forgive, to… Share on X

If you’d like to try writing your mother’s story, I created a full story journal with guidelines, multiple prompts, and a few reflection questions for all of my wonderful Living Story subscribers. You can get that free resource by subscribing here.

If you prefer a briefer version of just this particular prompt, try the instructions below:

 

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How to write a story from your mother’s point of view:

  1. Choose a significant event from your life that your mother was involved in in some way.
  2. Don’t worry about grammar or sentence structure or any “English teacher” type things. Just tell the story.
  3. Try to show what happened:
    • Describe the setting.
    • Write the dialogue: For example: What did the stranger say when he or she called my mom? How did my mom reply?
    • Consider your mother’s season and circumstance and how your life event might have affected her.
  4. Write down everything you can remember about it.
  5. Now, imagine what that event was like for her. See it through her eyes.
  6. At the end, write what you see now about your mother that you did not see before.
  7. Do you see any ways that your love, empathy, and/or forgiveness toward your mom grew through this exercise?
  8. If your mom is still alive, consider asking your mom about this event. Ask her to tell you the story from her point of view.

Questions to consider as you try to write from your mom’s perspective:

  • What would have been her struggles in that situation? What stresses might she have endured? What fears or sorrows might she have had?
  • What would she have said to her husband or her friend that she would not have said to you?

For a joyous event:

  • What would she have celebrated?
  • What would she have been most excited about (Remember, it might not be what you were most excited about!)

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