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7 Questions about Gospel Coaching

7 Questions about Gospel Coaching

 

Dear Friends,

I have not been doing formal gospel coaching for a season, but the Lord has been leading me for some time to return. Given the recent upheaval in our world, this seems like a good time to offer this service, and I will be taking on a limited number of clients. If you have questions beyond what this article covers, please contact me. I’d love to hear from you.

Ellie found herself with more time on her hands as her last child went to college. She knew she wanted to invest her time wisely, but she wasn’t sure which direction to pursue. Simone wanted to finish school but couldn’t make herself start gathering the paperwork to apply. And Marie, a young mom whose mother had died when she was a teen, wanted to spend intentional time thinking through what it meant to be a “good” mother. Each of these women found that a gospel coach could help them over the hurdles and usher them through the places they tended to get stuck.

Over the last thirty-something years, I’ve done a lot of gospel coaching, although I haven’t always called it that. Some of my coaching has been formal (scheduled sessions, paid); much of it has been informal (over lunch or coffee, unpaid). As I’ve been praying about returning to formal coaching, I’ve decided the simplest and clearest title for my work is “Gospel Coach.” What is a gospel coach? Hopefully, answering these seven questions will help you understand what I do as a gospel coach.

Most life coaching assumes that the primary factor in change lies within us; in other words, it has a humanistic approach.  

Gospel coaching assumes that because of our fallen nature, true and lasting change comes through Christ’s redemptive work in us. Gospel coaches believe that united with Christ, by the work of the Holy Spirit, in faith and repentance, we can and will change and grow to become more like Christ. Gospel coaches come alongside to help you seek God’s calling in your life and to help you move forward in living out God’s love in very specific arenas.

1

What’s the difference between a gospel coach and a life coach?

2

What’s the difference between a gospel coach and a counselor?

While gospel coaches may offer “little-c” counsel at times and will always offer Scriptural wisdom, they are not qualified to treat mental health issues in the way a trained counselor is. Counseling tends to focus more on healing from past struggles which are causing distress; coaching focuses on helping you move forward in a healthy way (in personal growth, relationships, career, parenting, etc.). For a more in-depth look at the differences, see this PDF on Christian coaching.

Yes. The client sets and states the goal. I’ve had clients who were empty nesters wanting to return to school or write a book but weren’t getting very far on their own. I’ve had clients who wanted to grow as young moms, and clients who simply wanted someone to walk alongside them in the hard calling of ministry. All of these are good options for gospel coaching.

I provide exercises that help clients consider the stories God has written in and through you, to discover the obstacles you might face in reaching that goal, and to take the actions you will need to take to accomplish the goal.

Each time we get together, we celebrate what God has done, consider struggles and obstacles, and pray about and discuss next steps.

3

Can a gospel coach help me accomplish goals?

4

What if I don’t want to accomplish any goals but just need someone to walk alongside me?

As a gospel coach, I provide a safe place for clients to share frustrations, disappointments, as well as excitement about what God is doing in their lives. Sometimes, especially in ministry, you can’t share significant stories or struggles with others, but you need to verbally process decisions and thoughts. I listen carefully and ask good questions. I pray and offer gospel cheerleading.

Well, I was never any good at gymnastics, but I’ve been told throughout my life that I am a great encourager. Scripture offers us the strongest encouragement for learning, living, and loving in the gospel, but our problem is that we often have gospel amnesia. My role is to remind my clients of the good news and how it applies to the specific stories you are living.

5

What is gospel cheerleading?

6

Will you yell at me the way my high school volleyball coach did?

No yelling. I may ask some hard or uncomfortable questions, questions a friend might think are too awkward to ask. Questions like, “Why do you suppose you sabotage your movement toward your goal?” or “What are you afraid of?” or “Why do you refuse to celebrate what God has done?” But be assured, even the toughest questions are always asked kindly, with the goal of encouraging movement toward living out faith, hope, and love.

That’s a really good question! Larry Crabb once said that if people had better friendships, there would be no need for counselors, and to a degree, he’s right – about counselors and coaches. But. The reality in a fallen world is that you are not likely to feel comfortable making every get-together with a friend all about you and your struggles or your desires to reach a goal. Your friend is not likely to feel comfortable asking you some of the hard questions that would get you un-stuck. And data shows that when we pay for something, we invest a lot more time, energy, and effort in it.

7

Why should I pay a gospel coach to do what it sounds like a good friend could do for me?

So that’s what I do as a gospel coach. If you have more questions or think you might benefit from gospel coaching, please contact me for a free discovery session.

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

Gospel Coaching

I work with women who believe their story has meaning and purpose because God wrote it! Want to try gospel coaching? Contact me for a free twenty-minute discovery session to learn more.

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Jesus, Foot Washing, and Servant Leadership

Jesus, Foot Washing, and Servant Leadership

“Lord, do you wash my feet?” John 13:6

 Our elder son will never forget the words Truett Cathy, the founder of Chick-fil-A, Inc., addressed to him after his job interview there. Touring the facility with the vice-president who interviewed him, they arrived at the “treehouse,” the then ninety-one-year-old’s office. After a brief conversation, Mr. Cathy looked at our son and said, “I look forward to serving with you.” Our son had two (inward) responses:

  1. Does that mean I got the job?! and
  2. Wait, don’t you mean, “You look forward to me serving you?”

With his words, Mr. Cathy had demonstrated the principle of servant leadership that derives from Chick-fil-A, Inc.’s mission statement.

That story always reminds me of Peter’s response when Jesus approached him to wash his feet (John 13). Peter objects, not wanting Jesus to stoop so low as to serve him in such a menial way. Jesus gently rebukes Peter, instructing his followers about servant leadership in the kingdom of God. Let’s revisit the story.

Jesus: The Ultimate Servant Leader

The time, Jesus knows, has now come, for him to depart this world. Even as he is enjoying his feast with his beloved disciples, he is eager to prepare them for their new life of service. He rises from his place at the table, removes his outer garment, and wraps a towel around his waist. Now dressed as a servant, he begins doing what only a servant, or a wife, or a child, the lowliest in the hierarchy of that culture would do—washing feet. At this point, Peter raises his objection. As we continue the story, we learn five realities about Christ’s servant leaders:

Five Characteristics of Servant Leaders:

  1. Servant leaders must be willing to be weak, even despicably so.In removing his outer garment (John 13:4), kneeling before his friends, and taking their dirty feet into his hands, Jesus performs the role of the weakest and most despised in his culture—a servant. Jesus’ menial act is the basis of Peter’s objection, just as it was the basis of my son’s objection to Mr. Cathy.
  2. Servant leaders serve even in times of travail and turmoil.Jesus washes his disciples’ feet, knowing that he is facing the torment of the Cross and separation from his Father, not to mention separation from his beloved friends. Jesus washes his disciples’ feet, knowing that some will betray him in coming days. Trials do not excuse us from servant leadership.
  3. Servant leaders open themselves to the care of Jesus and others.When Peter objects to Jesus’ washing of him, Jesus responds, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me” (John 13:8, ESV). It is Jesus who empowers us to serve others. Without receiving his care and love, we have no love to share.
  4. Servant leaders serve because Jesus first served us, just as we love because Jesus first loved us (1 John 4:7-8).Jesus washes his disciples’ feet to illustrate a spiritual point—he alone can cleanse them from their sin. Then he instructs them, “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14). Jesus’ foot washing is more than an example to the servant leader; it is the empowerment for servant leadership. Because we have the riches of his grace, we pour them out on others.
  5. Servant leaders will get down and dirty, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.Jesus calls his disciples to go into all the world, even the uncomfortable and unfamiliar world. To wash another’s feet may mean sitting on the sidewalk next to the homeless man while he eats the chicken sandwich we brought him; or it may mean enduring the stench of urine in the nursing home as we visit residents there. It may mean entering messy conversations or not exiting miry conflicts.

As you ponder Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross, do not miss meditating on his sacrificial service to his disciples. Let us serve because he first served us, just as we love because he first loved us!

A Prayer about Servant Leadership

Prayer: Lord Jesus, you not only showed us the way to servant leadership, you dug the path for us by your death on the Cross. Thank you for lowering yourself that we might be raised to new life. Help us to follow you into the down and dirty places you call us to lead. In your saving name we ask. Amen.

Further Encouragement: John 13:1-17Philippians 2:1-11.

For Reflection:

  • How do you feel about having your feet washed, literally or spiritually? What encouragement or conviction does this passage bring you?
  • In which of the five areas of servant leadership would you like to grow? Ask God to help you in this area.

Listen: Take My Life and Let It Be, written by Frances Havergal

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

 

 

Jesus, Foot Washing, and Servant Leadership: A Devotional

Jesus, Foot Washing, and Servant Leadership: A Devotional

“Lord, do you wash my feet?” John 13:6

 

Our elder son will never forget the words Truett Cathy, the founder of Chick-fil-A, Inc., addressed to him after his job interview there. Touring the facility with the vice-president who interviewed him, they arrived at the “treehouse,” the then ninety-one-year-old’s office. After a brief conversation, Mr. Cathy looked at our son and said, “I look forward to serving with you.” Our son had two (inward) responses:

  1. Does that mean I got the job?! and
  2. Wait, don’t you mean, “You look forward to me serving you?”

With his words, Mr. Cathy had demonstrated the principle of servant leadership that derives from Chick-fil-A, Inc.’s mission statement.

That story always reminds me of Peter’s response when Jesus approached him to wash his feet (John 13). Peter objects, not wanting Jesus to stoop so low as to serve him in such a menial way. Jesus gently rebukes Peter, instructing his followers about servant leadership in the kingdom of God. Let’s revisit the story.

Jesus: The Ultimate Servant Leader

The time, Jesus knows, has now come, for him to depart this world. Even as he is enjoying his feast with his beloved disciples, he is eager to prepare them for their new life of service. He rises from his place at the table, removes his outer garment, and wraps a towel around his waist. Now dressed as a servant, he begins doing what only a servant, or a wife, or a child, the lowliest in the hierarchy of that culture would do—washing feet. At this point, Peter raises his objection. As we continue the story, we learn five realities about Christ’s servant leaders:

Five Characteristics of Servant Leaders:

  1. Servant leaders must be willing to be weak, even despicably so. In removing his outer garment (John 13:4), kneeling before his friends, and taking their dirty feet into his hands, Jesus performs the role of the weakest and most despised in his culture—a servant. Jesus’ menial act is the basis of Peter’s objection, just as it was the basis of my son’s objection to Mr. Cathy.
  2. Servant leaders serve even in times of travail and turmoil. Jesus washes his disciples’ feet, knowing that he is facing the torment of the Cross and separation from his Father, not to mention separation from his beloved friends. Jesus washes his disciples’ feet, knowing that some will betray him in coming days. Trials do not excuse us from servant leadership.
  3. Servant leaders open themselves to the care of Jesus and others. When Peter objects to Jesus’ washing of him, Jesus responds, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me” (John 13:8, ESV). It is Jesus who empowers us to serve others. Without receiving his care and love, we have no love to share.
  4. Servant leaders serve because Jesus first served us, just as we love because Jesus first loved us (1 John 4:7-8). Jesus washes his disciples’ feet to illustrate a spiritual point—he alone can cleanse them from their sin. Then he instructs them, “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14). Jesus’ foot washing is more than an example to the servant leader; it is the empowerment for servant leadership. Because we have the riches of his grace, we pour them out on others.
  5. Servant leaders will get down and dirty, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Jesus calls his disciples to go into all the world, even the uncomfortable and unfamiliar world. To wash another’s feet may mean sitting on the sidewalk next to the homeless man while he eats the chicken sandwich we brought him; or it may mean enduring the stench of urine in the nursing home as we visit residents there. It may mean entering messy conversations or not exiting miry conflicts.

As you ponder Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross, do not miss meditating on his sacrificial service to his disciples. Let us serve because he first served us, just as we love because he first loved us!

A Prayer about Servant Leadership

Prayer: Lord Jesus, you not only showed us the way to servant leadership, you dug the path for us by your death on the Cross. Thank you for lowering yourself that we might be raised to new life. Help us to follow you into the down and dirty places you call us to lead. In your saving name we ask. Amen.

Further Encouragement: John 13:1-17; Philippians 2:1-11.

For Reflection:

  • How do you feel about having your feet washed, literally or spiritually? What encouragement or conviction does this passage bring you?
  • In which of the five areas of servant leadership would you like to grow? Ask God to help you in this area.

Listen: Take My Life and Let It Be, written by Frances Havergal

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

When Church Leaders Fail: Four Healthy Responses

When Church Leaders Fail: Four Healthy Responses

Church Leader Fails

Pastor Bars Co-Pastor from Missionary Journey after Heated Argument!

Phillippi Community Church: Beloved Female Leaders Hurl Twitter Barbs. Pastor Steps In!

Can you imagine the headlines that would have been written about just these two stories of church leader failures from the Bible (Acts 15:36-41Philippians 4:2-3)?! The twitter wars among Christians and the dog and cat fights of local congregations may be fought differently these days, but they are not original with the 21st Century church.

As we come to the end of this (I hope) encouraging and informative series on the church, we need to consider one more crucial topic – how to respond when church leaders fail us.

Church leader failures aren't a new thing: they date all the way back to Adam and Eve. #church #gospel #ministry Share on X

Unhelpful Responses to Church Leader Failure

How do we, as the church, respond when our leaders fail – us and one another? Here are some unhelpful strategies I’ve tried in the past:

  1. The ostrich response: I want to bury my head in the sand. I don’t like conflict among people I love and respect, and I just want everyone to get along.
  1. The mosh pit response: I want to jump in the melee of all the tweets by favoriting witticisms that defend one party or the other.
  2. The in-the-know response: I want to learn all I can about the conflict so I can share my vast knowledge and profound opinion.

4 Helpful Responses to Church Leader Failure

As the Holy Spirit daily sanctifies us and as we are led by wise gospel-breathing souls who scent the social media air with gospel aroma and godly counsel, we move to a sounder approach. Consider these four helpful ways to respond to conflict between church leaders:

1.  Begin with Scripture: Where leaders are differing over theological doctrine, study Scripture yourself to find out what it says.

  • If the public dissension is about law and grace, for example, read what the Bible says about it. Find and review Scripture passages that tell about law and grace, obedience and good works, justification and sanctification.
  • Pray that the Holy Spirit would enlighten your mind as you read.

2.  Pray for all parties concerned. Rather than taking sides or favoriting witty remarks or writing witty remarks, humble yourself and pray.

Here are some things to pray for your church leaders, failed or not:

  • Thank God for these ministers of the gospel.
  • Pray that they will work through their division.
  • Pray for their personal spiritual growth.
  • Pray for protection from temptation. Do you ever stop to think how many temptations must face “big-name” Christian leaders? I realized I don’t — not often enough.

 The ostrich response: one unhelpful way to respond to church leadership failures. #churchleader #church #ministry Share on X

3. Pray for yourself, for humility and repentance. Try praying Philippians 2:1-5.

  • Pray for humility.
  • Repent of idolatry of Christian leaders and writers. Remember that they are redeemed sinners, just as we are. Many of us tend to place unrealistic expectations on such leaders.

4. Love fallen leaders well. Let’s not forget that Satan loves to attack unity, and failure by a church leader is a prime target for the entire congregation and for each individual.

  • If the harm is deep, don’t gossip or grow bitter. Talk to a wise and trusted friend or counselor about the harm. Walk with another through the process of forgiveness.
  • When and if the time is right (the Holy Spirit will be your guide), tell the leader how they have harmed you, don’t accuse them. Invite them to look at their sin and to return to fellowship with you.
  • Seek reconciliation, but know that you may have to wait for it. (Romans 12:17-18).

A Prayer about Fallen Church Leaders

Lord, Jesus Christ,

You are the only leader of the church who has never failed your followers. Forgive us, we pray, for our failures to love well when the church fails us. Help us to run to your outstretched arms, to hear your wise counsel, and to move toward others with your strength, mercy, and love. Amen

Eugene Peterson: Words for When Leaders Fail Us

Eugene Peterson: Words for When Leaders Fail Us

How do we respond when leaders fail?

This week, when the news reached me that Eugene Peterson, pastor and translator of The Message translation of the Bible, had made some seemingly uncharacteristic remarks, I remembered a time a few years ago when I was struggling over the moral failure of a pastor I had read and respected. At that time, I turned to Eugene Peterson’s writing on leaders to re-orient my thinking.

Here is what I wrote then:

I, as many others, have been struggling this week with how to respond to the resignation of the well-known and respected preacher due to “moral failure.” The news has knocked me, and so many others for a loop. I led people to the fiery and passionate teaching of the gospel in his books. So how do I, how do we respond when he seemingly fails to live what he taught and preached?

Tuesday I shared a Bible story about a failed king. Today I have returned to some of my favorite quotes from Eugene Peterson on leadership — what makes a good leader, how leaders fail, and the gospel hope for all leadership.

1. Leaders act on faith — believing God is who he says he is.

Faith has to do with marrying the Invisible and the Visible. When we engage in an act of faith as Caleb did, we give up insisting that head knowledge is our primary means of understanding.  Faith isn’t a conclusion we come to simply on the basis of what we see. It’s a conclusion we come to on the basis of who God is….we find that the greater danger wasn’t living by faith but living by unbelief, the way the rest of the nation lived.” Conversations

2. Leaders need true friends.

…someone enters our life who isn’t looking for someone to use, is leisurely enough to find out what’s really going on in us, is secure enough not to exploit our weaknesses or attack our strengths, recognizes our inner life and understands the difficulty of living out our inner convictions, confirms what’s deepest within us. A friend.” Leap over a Wall

3. When catastrophe comes, leaders must strengthen themselves in the Lord. Regarding King David responding to Ziklag in 1 Samuel 30:

…catastrophe brought out the best in David. In the chaos of lamentation, anger, and bitterness, with storm clouds of murder rolling across the horizon, we come across this line: ‘But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God’ (1 Sam. 30:6). David prayed; David worshipped; David called on his pastor, Abiathar, for counsel. David went deep within himself, met God, and found strength and direction to stride into the way of salvation.

4. A leader is always faced by the temptations common to all mankind: to believe that we are the gods of our own world.

The subtlety of sin is that it doesn’t feel like sin when we’re doing it; it feels godlike, it feels religious, it feels fulfilling and satisfying — a replay of the episode in Eden when the tempter said, ‘Ye shall not die…ye shall be as gods” (Gen. 3:4-5, KJV). David didn’t feel like a sinner when he sent for Bathsheba; he felt like a lover — and what can be better than that? David didn’t feel like a sinner when he sent for Uriah; he felt like a king, and what can be better than that? Somewhere along the line he had withdrawn from the life of worship: adoration of God had receded and obsession with self had moved in.

5. A leader suffers the consequences of his/her sin and others’; the consequences can show themselves as a loss of the truest hope a leader has.

I’m going to guess that during the years of his flinty rejection of Absalom, David was paying less and less attention to God, that his prayers thinned down to a trickle….As he refused intimacy with Absalom, he forfeited intimacy with God. As David was less and less a father, he became less and less human. As he carried out his kingly duties in self-righteous rectitude, he slipped into a godlike role before the people. As he became less compassionate with those around him, he became less passionate with the God within him.

6. A leader’s moral failures are not the central dimension, but they are A dimension.

How we behave and how we think matters. God’s grace doesn’t exempt us from living in common courtesy. God’s initiative doesn’t relieve us of the responsibility of getting out of bed in the morning….Moral wisdom is no less true for not being at the heart of our humanity. The heart of our humanity is God.

7. We are all leaders as servants of Christ. Our only hope is to trust the One who lived a perfectly righteous life.”

David…never got around to loving his enemies the way his descendant Jesus would do it; his morals and manners left a lot to be desired. These aren’t narrated to legitimize bad behavior but are set down as proof that we don’t first become good and then get God. First we get God — and then, over a patient lifetime, we are trained in God’s ways (my emphasis).