by Elizabeth | Sep 1, 2014 | Learning Story
“Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
Every year, I have to look up the meaning of Labor Day — it turns out it’s a day set aside as a tribute to American workers and the work they/we do.
Long before the America government decided to set aside a day of rest, Jesus beckoned his people to come to him and receive rest. Today is a good day to re-think this call.
The first part of the verse is straightforward, but I get hung up on the yoke. A yoke is literally a bar or frame used to join two animals to pull a load. In the Bible, the imagery implies subjection (that’s not a bad thing!) and joining. As followers of Christ, we are yoked to him. As kingdom servants, we join Christ and serve his kingdom.
According to Matthew 11:28-30, Christ’s yoke is easy and his burden is light. If this is true, why do so many of us experience our lives as a burden of burnout?
Maybe it’s because we too often take on the yokes of other demi-gods who promise us great reward for pleasing them.
Ephesians 6 tells us to put on armor because our battle is not against flesh and blood. In other words, we are constantly in a war for our hearts. Satan, the accuser, lays all sorts of heavy loads on us, some subtle, some blatantly cruel. And we bow before them. Before we know it, we look and sound like a mean old octogenarian stooped over with osteoporosis, crabby-faced and claw-tongued, aching under the heavy yoke we wear.
But Jesus has offered us rest. Let’s listen to his invitation:
- Oh dear sinner saint – are you a slave to the law? Are you trying to perform well enough to please the Lord who already delights in you? Hear the lesson of rest Jesus wants you to learn:
“Let me put this question to you? How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God’s Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren’t smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it?” (Galatians 3:2-4, The Message).
Jesus beckons, “Yank off that yoke of the law, and join with me in free praise and glory to the King.”
- Oh dear sinner saint – are you a slave to Satan’s accusations? Do you hear his angry voice condemning you over every failure, small and large, sinful and mistaken, as you walk through your day? Hear the lesson Jesus wants you to learn,
“So sing, Daughter Zion!/ Raise the rafters, Israel!/Daughter Jerusalem, /be happy! celebrate!/God has reversed his judgments against you/ and sent your enemies off chasing their tails./From now on, God is Israel’s king,/ in charge at the center./There’s nothing to fear from evil ever again!” (Zephaniah 3:14-15, The Message)
Jesus beckons, “Yank off that yoke of Satan, and hear me singing over you.”
- Oh dear sinner saint – are you a slave to the cycle of addiction? You say you will not work 14 hours today and miss another volleyball game, you say you will not have that ‘one more glass of wine, just so I can relax’, you say you will follow the doctor’s orders and walk for 20 minutes today. And then you do it again. Hear the lesson of rest Jesus wants you to learn:
“I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.” (Romans 7:24-25, The Message)
Jesus beckons, “Yank off that yoke of the flesh, and receive my grace to help in time of need.”
Today, this Labor Day, let’s hear Jesus’ free offer of rest and take on this yoke. When we do, we will laugh in wonder, thinking “this can’t be a yoke, it’s way too easy.” Light and free, our bodies straighten and our chins rise; we run, we sing, we dance, free to live as God created us to live. We go forth in service and subjection, plowing Kingdom ground for his honor and glory, discovering that this work provides rest for our souls.
Join the discussion — what “Dear Sinner Saint messages do you think it is important to hear in order to rest?”
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by Elizabeth | Aug 26, 2014 | Learning Story
Sunday night, a tennis coaching legend, a man who profoundly influenced my husband’s life, died. Dan Magill, husband, father, athletic director, humorist, historian, and Hall of Famer coach at the University of Georgia, was 93 years old.
My husband lettered at Georgia in 1980-1983, and was a part of the SEC championship team twice. Several years ago, we returned to Athens Georgia, for a “Gala Reunion” celebrating the 90th birthday of “storied” tennis coach, Dan Magill. Over 800 people gathered to hear stories and honor him.
As a gospel coach, someone who walks alongside women seeking to live the gospel more freely and fully in all areas — marriage, parenting, work, relationships, I listened to Magill stories with a new perspective. As we remember him today, I’ll share a few things I learned about the great coach that I apply to my work with people.
1. “Don’t cheat Jawja.” I heard players repeat this line in the inimitable Magill accent all weekend. It means, “Play your best for Georgia, whom you represent.”
My goal is to help clients live their God-given stories in the name of and for the glory of the one who created them.
2. He directed them toward opportunities for growth. My husband grew up in Athens, and not only did Magill encourage him in his early tennis efforts, but in later years, he invited him to hit with top players to help him develop his game. Coach Magill also knew how to motivate his players as they tried to figure out the best strategy for winning a match.
My coaching clients may be trying to grow a business or strengthen a marriage, discern direction or calling, or move through a challenging transition. In all of these stories, we work together to explore possibilities, draw out creativity, and implement plans.
3. He provided a strong presence. “I called Coach Magill.” John Isner, who played for Coach Manuel Diaz on the 2007 National Championship UGA team, spoke at the gala. Isner, now number 15 in the world, was referring to his record-setting 11 hour and 5 minute match win at Wimbledon. He told us, “After that match, Coach Magill was one of the first people I called.” Coach Magill was there for players (even those he didn’t actually coach officially), win or lose. He sat with them on the locker room bench and said after a tough day, “Well, some days are [salty language] days.”
I want to be the kind of coach who sits with, walks with, runs alongside of clients, reminding them of who they are and what they’re about, encouraging them after a loss, celebrating after a win, reminding them in all, it is a process of growth, and God wastes no moment.
My husband, Kip, with Coach Magill in 2006, on the courts where they spent many years.
4. Dan Magill coached the individual, not just the game of tennis. He drew out the strengths in each player and called them to play their game.
My goal is to help people reflect deeply on their God-authored story, their unique gifts, passions, strengths, struggles, and redemption (vision) and consider what that means for how they live their lives (mission).
5. Coach Magill called his players to account. He was no softy coach (his players would say that is a huge understatement!). Players were expected to practice hard and play hard, to bring their best in play, sportsmanship, and respect for the game. If they didn’t do what they were asked, they didn’t play.
As a gospel coach, I won’t be a nagging parent, a scolding teacher, or a screaming football coach. I will, however, create a space for clients to be accountable. We are designed to grow in the context of community. That’s why working with someone who is ‘for you’ in every way draws you to make significant changes.
The best words to end this piece are most eloquently voiced by my husband: “So much would be different without his generous influence in my life during my formative years. I have been permanently impacted by Dan. I continue, using the competitive skills taught by my coach, fighting daily for my patients….never quitting, almost always finding answers to challenges. True of life in general. My life has been indelibly marked by my years with Dan. Blessings to you and your extended family. My blessings continue the rest of my life, having known Dan.” You can read more memories here.
I pray that, by God’s grace, I may walk alongside my clients with the commitment, passion, humor and generosity with which Dan Magill lived. If he were here, he’d probably say, “Glory, glory to old Jawja.” And I would add, “Glory be to God.”
by Elizabeth | Aug 22, 2014 | Learning Story
I am thankful for friends who nominated me to take the ice bucket challenge. I think it means they think of me as a combo charitable/adventurous person. I like to think of myself that way too:-)!
The truth is, I used to be very adventurous and extremely competitive. I would have likely accepted any challenge that wouldn’t do extreme bodily harm for the simple purpose of “winning” and proving myself “strong” and “worthy.”
I don’t know if it’s because I feel old or because I’ve had a lot of injuries leading to surgeries in recent years, but I no longer have any desire to do things like dump ice on my body – whether to prove myself or to raise money for a worthy cause. I’m not as adventurous as I used to be.
I confess — when a friend asked me if I had done it yet, I spoke too quickly, too bluntly.
“No, I haven’t done it, and I’m not going to.” Boom!
“’Oh,’ she said, taken aback, and I instantly regretted my intensity. ‘Someone challenged me and I thought you would be a good person to challenge.’”
I tried to back up, “I’m sorry – let me clarify – when I think of hard ice hitting my head and shoulders, all I think of is pain. I am happy to donate, but I’m not going to do the ice-dumping. So, of course, you may challenge me.”
(By the way, after watching lots of these videos, I realized that most people are using water that has been iced down, not the buckets of ice I envisioned, but – further confession — I still don’t really want to do it.)
After my friend and I hung up, I wondered about my response — am I really happy to donate? Honestly, not completely. I don’t think it’s because I don’t like giving. I think it’s because I’m proud and independent. The truth is I like to make my own decisions about how to give and to whom. (It turns out the original challenge was a choice – either dump the ice – or give to a worthy cause).
Then I asked myself – well, is ALS a worthy cause? It is a terrible disease that involves dying motor neurons and loss of voluntary muscle movement. My friend mentioned in her video that she was doing it for a relative who died of ALS. Her story reminded me of something I had completely forgotten (stories have a way of doing that!) — my husband’s grandmother, our beloved “Mimi,” also suffered with the disease in her latter years and ultimately succumbed to it. Would I love to see researchers find a cure? Absolutely!
All of that thinking (yes, some would say OVERTHINKING!) has led me to some conclusions:
I want to be a “cheerful giver” (1 Cor. 9:7). I want to be the kind of woman who makes sacrifices for others, both physical and financial. I am really really grateful to have the kinds of friends who not only endured the ice onslaught but also gave cheerfully. And I am also grateful that they invited me.
And yes, I have made a decision about my response to the ice-bucket challenge! I hope you’re not disappointed that I can’t tell you what it is – that is part of the decision. Instead, I’ll leave you with a challenge —
Share your stories and thoughts on ice-bucket challenges, ALS, giving, etc.
by Elizabeth | Aug 13, 2014 | Learning Story
This morning, trying to choke down some watery oatmeal in the Courtyard Bistro, enough to sustain me through the 12th sweaty move of a “child” into or out of a college dwelling (more on that another day), two televisions and a giant digital screen flash the dark stories of these hard days. When I was growing up, Robin Williams was a delightfully happy guy playing the beloved alien “Mork” on TV every week. One year my best friend and I went to a halloween party as Shazam and Isis.
Harsh depression, deep terror, and cruel death now mix with these innocent memories. In these chaotic and sorrowful days, I need — I daresay we all need to be reminded of the good news — there is a powerful, all-sustaining God ruling over evil and pain. Yesterday, I read Charles Spurgeon’s Morning Meditation, which was on just that subject — today I offer portions of it with visuals. I hope these words and pictures (taken with an Iphone 5s at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens) will flash in your mind even when one more piece of sad news scrolls across the screen. (The full-text of the hymn he quotes can be found here).
by Elizabeth | Aug 13, 2014 | Learning Story
This morning, trying to choke down some watery oatmeal in the Courtyard Bistro, enough to sustain me through the 12th sweaty move of a “child” into or out of a college dwelling (more on that another day), two televisions and a giant digital screen flash the dark stories of these hard days. When I was growing up, Robin Williams was a delightfully happy guy playing the beloved alien “Mork” on TV every week. One year my best friend and I went to a halloween party as Shazam and Isis.
Harsh depression, deep terror, and cruel death now mix with these innocent memories. In these chaotic and sorrowful days, I need — I daresay we all need to be reminded of the good news — there is a powerful, all-sustaining God ruling over evil and pain. Yesterday, I read Charles Spurgeon’s Morning Meditation, which was on just that subject — today I offer portions of it with visuals. I hope these words and pictures (taken with an Iphone 5s at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens) will flash in your mind even when one more piece of sad news scrolls across the screen. (The full-text of the hymn he quotes can be found here).
by Elizabeth | Aug 8, 2014 | Learning Story
Kelly Valen, in her compelling 2010 study of female relationships,Twisted Sisterhood discovered through poll that 97 percent of women “believe it is crucial that we improve the female culture in this country.”
In the last post, I told a story of being attacked by a fellow Christian and how a sister-friend loved me well in the aftermath. Why do women treat other women so harshly, and what can be done to improve female culture? When we think about what happened to women in the fall, broken sisterhood might make more sense. Since Adam and Eve sinned, all women have these things in common:
- know we are naked.
- feel shame.
- want to hide.
- make pitiful attempts to cover ourselves.
- blame others for our sin and sorrow, including God.
- feel pain in childbirth — I’ve always wondered — does this include the pain of monthly cycles?
- desire to dominate men.
- or, as some people interpret it, desire men so much we’ll do anything to get and keep them.
- demand control over our worlds.
How do these sins play out in women’s relationships with other women?
Mean Girls, a 2004 comedy, satirized the cliques and bullying that are commonplace occurrences in high schools. Any woman who has suffered being shunned on a playground as a child or being cyberbullied as a teen knows that the dark terror and shame of female bullying holds no humor.
The culture of female aggression does not end when we grow up, though — new studies find women sabotaging other women in every arena of life:
- In the workplace, women will deliberately make a co-worker look incompetent.
- In the area of motherhood, the phrase “Mommy wars” has been coined to describe the friction between moms who stay-at-home full-time and those who work full-time.
- In the competition for scarce resources of “good” available men, women demean and manipulate other women.
Sadly, the fallen reality of women’s relationships is not limited to the broader culture but plays out regularly among Christians as well. The Bible recounts the earliest true and tragic stories of female aggression:
- Sarah, the mother of all nations, abuses her slave Hagar — and Hagar is no saint either.
- The terrible story of Rachel and Leah is the first account of “sister-wives” and leaves no illusions about dark conflict between women vying for a man who isn’t the catch he might have seemed to be.
- Martha complains to no less than the Savior himself about her sister’s laziness.
- The apostle Paul calls out two devoted ministers of the gospel, Euodia and Synteche, regarding their ministry quarrels.
If competition, condemnation, and irritation exist in women’s relationships in the Bible, it should come as no surprise that these and other sins continue to affect Christian women’s community:
- Some women labor to look good physically and spiritually at Bible study; others hate the pretense and refuse to attend.
- Moms beat one another up over things like how babies and children should be fed, how they should be educated, and how they behave.
- Gossip is veiled as prayer requests or “concern,” and some women create laws where the Bible offers gospel-freedom.
- Worst of all, cliquishness still exists, and some women feel more isolated or rejected at church than they ever did in a high school cafeteria.
Thankfully, as my earlier story suggests, the dark side is not the whole story about women’s relationships, either in or outside the church. Now that we know why our community is so broken, we can see how the gospel brings hope for true sisterhood. Stay tuned for posts that look at the redemption of relationships. If you want to make sure you receive blog posts, sign up now — you’ll only get one email a week with any recent posts.
What do you think? Have you had experiences with broken sisterhood that have made you shy away from women’s community?
What redemptive stories do you have of women’s relationships? Please comment.
