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Gene Chizik and Sharing Stories

by | Nov 15, 2011 | Learning Story

With two children very involved in Auburn University, I could not resist grabbing the biography of the coach, Gene Chizik, when I saw it ripe for the picking at the library last week. Last night I read something I was so excited to share I could hardly wait until I got to write this blog:

“I believed it would benefit us as a coaching staff to learn more about our players. It’s said that everyone has a story, but too often we don’t know the stories of the people closest to us. I wanted to be intentional about setting aside time for us to sit down and listen and really get to know each other.

“It’s amazing what we learn when players share their stories. You might think that these big, tough guys would stand up and not really want to say much about their personal lives. But I’m telling you, once most of them start talking, you can’t stop them. It’s as though they have just been waiting for someone to ask what they have to say.

“Gradually everyone on our team developed a good sense of what everyone else was dealing with, and they started taking a personal interest in each other’s lives. We didn’t create this type of environment to win football games. We did it because God placed within each of us the deep need for relationships. But I will tell you that …players and coaches will do far more on a practice field and a game field for people who care about them and are investing in them than they will for teammates and coaches they barely know.”

1. One of the greatest gifts we can give people is to listen to their story. Whose story will you ask about today? How will you be intentional about setting aside time to listen to others?

2. Chizik says that storytelling was an important part of team-building. I might call that community. How do you think storytelling helps to build a team? Have you ever tried it in your community? (If you need ideas, just contact me – I’ve got about a zillion!)

Asking the Right Question about Suffering

by | Nov 12, 2011 | Learning Story

Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm.

He said:

2 “Who is this that darkens my counsel

with words without knowledge?

3 Brace yourself like a man;

I will question you,

and you shall answer me.

4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?

Tell me, if you understand.

5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!

Who stretched a measuring line across it?

6 On what were its footings set,

or who laid its cornerstone—

7 while the morning stars sang together

and all the angels shouted for joy?”

I never read Job without remembering the first time I lost a really close friend. Her last name was Byrd, and I always thought that she resembled a bird, not just because she was tall and lanky, but also because she had a compelling spirit of freedom and grace. Often ‘widowed’ by husbands who had to work on Sunday, we frequently paired up in worship. I loved listening to her songbird voice, especially when she sang her favorite hymn, It Is Well with My Soul.

And then she was murdered. In her own garage, coming home from work. Thirty years old. Precious. Lovely. Robbed, and murdered. Of course we asked why? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? And HOW — as in HOW COULD YOU? God, what were you thinking? God, do you know what you’re doing? God, didn’t you know that this was one of your dearest daughters, that she loved you so much, that she sang about you so beautifully? Did you know that she did non-profit work? These were the kinds of questions that ran like a steady twitterstream through our minds.

And then came the day for the funeral. My husband was asked to read “Romans 8:28.” I thought, “Sure it does. Sure everything works for the good of those who love God and called according to his purposes.” Frankly, I didn’t think there was anything anyone could say to make my anger and pain go away, and I think many shared my view. And then the pastor spoke. He said something that changed the way I viewed suffering forever. He told us how it was normal to ask the question “why” about suffering, but it’s the wrong question to ask. The right question, the only one that can lead to comfort ultimately, is “Who?”.

The God who allowed our dear friend to be murdered is the one who Created her, Redeemed her, Restored her, and Loved her. He is the same God who tells the lightening when to lighten and conducts the morning stars in their song. He is the God who takes evil, which he did not author (James 1:13-17), and uses it for good (Genesis 50:20). He is the same God who has crushed Satan under his feet. And he is the same God who will one day restore all people and things to a beauty beyond imagining.

On that day almost 25 years ago, the pastor’s words (the Word) did not end my questioning, and it certainly didn’t suddenly quench my grief. It did, however, bring a sense of peace to my raging, of hope to my hardness. What it did do was allow me to sing with my whole heart the hymn my dear songbird friend loved most:

“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.”

If you want to hear a really great sermon on WHO God is in our suffering, check out David Platt’s.

Diagramming Colossians

by | Nov 10, 2011 | Learning Story

Diagramming is Fun!

I’ve already told our weekly Bible study group this, but to provide some structured study while we’re not meeting during December and early January, I’m posting some questions and thoughts on the book of Colossians. I don’t know if it means anything that the day after I posted it on a Facebook “Discussion” page, the page disappeared completely. I do know this — I love studying the Bible with other people, so if you need a little structure during the holidays, then check out the new page and offer your comments, questions, or diagrams:)!

About the diagram — I learned diagramming the hard way — by teaching it to 7th and 9th graders. Having entirely missed the course when I was in middle school, I found it challenging at first, but with the help of some very bright and gracious students and lots of late nights, I learned it and began to love it. I also discovered it to be a helpful tool to see the relationships and repeated words and other structures of verses. What are some of your favorite Bible study methods?

The Indicatives and Imperatives of Living Story

by | Nov 8, 2011 | Learning Story

Living Story focuses on learning what God has done in order to live it.

I promise I will not write an entire blog series quoting the entire text of Tullian Tchividjian’s new book Jesus + Nothing = Everything, but I read this one last night, and it occurred to me that it’s a great explanation of what Living Story is all about — studying, learning, remembering, awe-ing what God has done + living this story of grace, the gospel into the world in such a way that other people want to know this ‘what-God-has-done’ story. Everything we do — conferences, curriculum, coaching, and community, is focused on the indicative of Christ followed by the imperative. Read Pastor Tullian’s explanation:

“To use grammatical terms, Paul begins with the vertical indicative (what God in Christ has done for us), followed by the horizontal imperative (how we’re to live in light of what God has done for us).

Paul knew that the right way for us to think about our Christian lives is always to start with the vertical, then move to the horizontal. We’re always to soak first in what God has already done before set out to do. This intentional order is crucial because it distinguishes the gospel from moralism in our minds and helps us preserve the gospel from moralism in our actions.”

Parenting Reconciliation

by | Nov 3, 2011 | Learning Story

We don't have to teach babies how to fight.

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.” 2 Corinthians 5:17-20

Biting other babies. Stealing brother’s toy. Teenage drama enacted in best-friend-fights.

Dreaming about what they will be when they grow up. Not caring to do anything as a grown-up. Calling confusion.

These are just a couple of the issues that present us as parents that seem to be addressed by the core “re-” of our story addressed in 2 Corinthians 5. How does knowing the third ‘re-‘ of redemption help us parent?

The fact that we have been reconciled to God changes everything for us as parents and children. The metanarrative of redemption in Christ makes our calling clear: be a messenger of reconciliation. I love that our children attended a school that alluded to 2 Corinthians 5 in a pledge that every student speaks every morning: ““We, the students of –, pledge to act as ambassadors for Christ by caring for others, trusting one another and respecting faculty and our fellow students. We will take responsibility for our actions, be fair to others, forgive our fellow students, be loyal to our commitments and have patience with others. We will uphold qualities of good citizenship and act as students of God.”

Our pledge, our calling, our commitment as Christians is to be ambassadors of reconciliation everywhere we go in everything we do. Of course, we rely on the reality of 2 Corinthians 5:21 – we can’t and won’t be ambassadors of reconciliation except by the power of Christ in us. We can tell our daughters to pursue forgiveness and reconciliation in that friend-fight, but we can remind her that she has no power in and of herself to accomplish this, she is utterly dependent on the Christ who strengthens her (Phil. 4:6).

When our children move from knowing they want to be Spiderwoman when they grow up to the calling confusion brought on by turning twenty years old, we can counsel them confidently, “Be a messenger of reconciliation.” (Okay, I admit that’s a little obnoxious, and I wouldn’t say exactly that, but the core message is true. Pursue the themes of the larger story in the daily acts of everyday life. When we keep the message of reconciliation in the forefront of our mind, we will live our story in a way that draws our children to live their story for the sake of God’s glory.

For reflection: What are some ways being an ambassador of Christ or a minister of reconciliation might help you with some of your particular parenting struggles?

Re-Location and Redemptive Parenting

by | Oct 31, 2011 | Learning Story

How do you "re-locate" your children?

Over the last several weeks, I’ve been posting on Parenting Your Child’s Story. Today we talk more about how the story of redemption helps us parent well.
In Learning God’s Story of Grace, we look at redemption from the grid of four “re-s.” Today we’ll think about how two of these “re-s” in view of how they can help us as parents.

1. Re-location: After the fall, God literally relocates Adam and Eve, sending them out of the garden. This is often seen as a punishment for sin, and it is, but it is also an expression of God’s grace. Genesis 3 tells us that God is concerned “lest” they reach out and eat of the Tree of Life – because, if they do, they will remain in the sinful state for ever.
As parents, we often need to “re-locate” our children. This can involve everything from a literal move away from danger to creating limits that guide and protect them. Relocation will feel mean and tyrannical to them, but it should always be an extension of grace from parents. (And of course, this is where it gets hard, because we don’t always know the right limits, and we must ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom.)

2. Re-situation: Redemption in Jesus Christ means our “situation” or “status” is changed. Glory marred in the fall is being restored. God sees us righteous in Christ. At the same time, God calls his children to repent and trust in him rather than the other small gods we turn to for a sense of security and significance.
As parents, we re-situate our children when we remind them of their status, “You are my beloved child; even more (for those who do trust in Christ), you are Christ’s beloved Bride.” Remember who you are and act accordingly. I realize this seems rather vague, so let’s look at a real-life example:
Let’s say a child has snuck out with his friends, and we find out about it from a neighbor who happened to see him (note: this is why my friend taught me to pray “that they would get caught”). We re-locate them by exiling them from the garden of friend-shalom or whatever boundaries we deem gracious. We talk with them about how sin has consequences. One of those consequences is that our trust has been broken. Now here’s the important part – at the same time, we must not hold this incident over their head constantly. If God does not choose to hold our sin before us continuously — “remember what you did in the garden?” – then why would we do so to our children? We have to hold two realities together – they are living under the consequences of their sin, and they are redeemed. We should remind this child (only when they seem to forget): there are consequences to your actions, AND we should remind them all of the time, you are made-right, you are glorious, and I love you.

What about you? How do you see re-location and re-situation working out in your family? Do you struggle to remember your children’s right-ness as often as you remember their wrong-ness?