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Finding Holy in the Suburbs: Book Review

Finding Holy in the Suburbs: Book Review

Can you find “holy” in the suburbs?

Whether you are a suburbanite or a city-dweller, Ashley Hales’ new volume, Finding Holy in the Suburbs: Living Faithfully in the Land of Too Much, will invite and challenge you to consider what it means to live faithfully in a world of “too much,” consumerism, individualism, busyness, etc. In each carefully crafted chapter, she sheds light on how suburban and, (I would add), urban life can interfere with being a faithful citizen of God’s kingdom. Ashley calls us to a life of worshipping God more than soccer schedules and success ladders, a life of loving neighbors more than our well-insulated castles in the cul-de-sac.

Ashley plunges right in to the deep end describing how our granite countertops and the myriad consumer relics we crave have replaced golden calves as our contemporary idols:

And like all false gods—from golden calves to a Target haul—when we find worth by our affluence, it promises rest but brings stress, increasing demands, and a greater devotion to a god that will never love us and always forsake us (p.28).

After raising awareness of the contemporary golden calves we are tempted to consume, Ashley discusses the dangers of individualism, busyness, and safety, other idols found in suburbanites’ modern-day temples. Now that she’s got us squirming, Ashley invites us to repentance and encourages us with the sweet reminder of our belovedness:

God is that gentle parent who prepares a place for us. God—the one who is infinitely powerful, just, and merciful—looks at you like a starry-eyed parent fluffing pillows and washing sheets. You are his beloved (p. 90).

Throughout the book, She gives practical suggestions for moving toward God and others with chapters on belovedness, hospitality, generosity, vulnerability, and of course, my favorite— shalom.

Ashley’s gift for retelling the true story of Scripture will delight and surprise you. She reminds us that the Bible is not merely an ancient tome of tales but the actual history of God’s faithfulness to his people. Her interweaving of Scripture with sociology and theology strengthens her prophetic call. As she weaves this beautiful tapestry, Ashley draws us to repent from our indulgence in too-much-ness and invites us to return to worshipping the God who made us beloved and hospitable, generous and vulnerable.

Perhaps my favorite part of the book, though, is the section at the end of each chapter called “Practices,” what Ashley describes as “counterliturgies: new habits of seeing, being, and doing.” In this section, Ashley offers four-five practical suggestions for living out repentance in the areas she has discussed in that chapter. For example, in Chapter Two, I starred:

Get outside yourself. Begin imagining what practices you could take up that move you toward other people. Schedule thirty minutes to be available to your neighborhood. Notice its needs. Introduce yourself to a neighbor.

The practices she suggests are doable, practical, and effective. One of the practices led me to invite all of my neighbors over for an open house. Since our kids have grown up and moved away, we have few interactions with our neighbors; sadly, I wouldn’t recognize many of them if I saw them in the grocery store. Although I was a little nervous when the day came, around eighteen of my neighbors stopped in and ended up staying awhile. In this day of bitter divisiveness, it was a sweet gift of shalom, of hope for the day when every tribe, tongue, and people group will gather together to worship the Lord.

Although I may disagree that the -ism’s described in the book are unique to the suburban story (I think they look a little different in the city but still exist), and although I felt called outside my comfort zone often as I read (I needed to be), I highly recommend Finding Holy in the Suburbs. Ashley Hales is a modern-day prophet, holding up a mirror to help us see the terrifying image of what our golden calves might do to us if we continue to swallow their dust.  She gently and kindly invites us to run to the God who is running toward us. Together with God and others, she proclaims, we will celebrate redemption and move kindly into the world with a love that truly transforms.

Finding Holy in the Suburbs

5 Story Quotes to Make You Think

5 Story Quotes to Make You Think

I’m a story lover — are you?

If you read the Living Story blog regularly, you know that it is all about that story — that is, the Story God has written into his cosmos and into our lives.

Enjoy these 5 favorite story quotes along with some reflection questions to help you think about how you are living your God-authored story. If you enjoy them, be sure to share them!

01

Eugene Peterson

Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places

How do you think a story can be an act of hospitality?

02

Dan Allender

To Be Told

What redemption story might God be telling with your life?

03

Scotty Smith

Restoring Broken Things

What role do you play as a carrier of God’s Story?

04

Rachel Remen

Kitchen Table Wisdom

Schedule a time on your calendar to tell and listen to good stories!

05

Madeleine L’Engle

Walking on Water

What does your story reveal about who and what and why you are?

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A New Kind of FOMO

A New Kind of FOMO

A different kind of FOMO

FOMO: Fear of Missing Out, defined by Merriam Webster as the “fear of not being included in something,” is a thing.

Ever since my daughter, counseling student Mary Elizabeth Blake, shared with us the dangers of social media, I’ve been paying more attention to its effects on me. According to psychologists, social media can cause crippling social and psychological problems, including a sense of isolation and loneliness, negative self-image, and jealousy, among many others. Social media also gives rise to FOMO, because people observe others having a great time and believe that they are missing out.

In continuing this month’s theme of freedom, I thought about a new and different kind of FOMO available to us as Christians: the Freedom of Missing Out. This kind of FOMO, which roots itself in our identity in Christ, gives many benefits without all the negative side effects.

With the new FOMO, Freedom of Missing Out, we get to miss out on some of the anxiety caused by traditional FOMO…

Fear of Missing Out stirs up some of the worst toxins in our hearts, the kinds of things Scripture warns us are dangerous to our souls:

Comparison:

What happens in your heart when you see a friend’s Instagram post of her gorgeous self with her gorgeous boyfriend/husband/children in some gorgeous, exotic place? According to psychologists, what happens to many people is they compare themselves negatively to that person and feel less valuable.

What if, instead, we were to “set our minds on the things above” (Col. 3:23) and revisit Genesis 1, that tells us – yes, this means YOU –

You are created in the image of God. You are blessed by God. The Creator of the Universe has given you a task to do – “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!” (Gen. 1:26-28, The MSG).

Envy

The other thing that happens when we see our friend’s social media post showing off the shiny new car, new shoes, new jewelry, they just acquired, is we start to feel that devilish-est of emotions – envy.

According to 1 Corinthians 13:4, love …does not envy, so when we feel envy, we are murdering love. Envy eats contentment for lunch and tosses the remains in the trash. Because I am so vulnerable to the attack of envy, I am now trying to pay attention to how I respond to others’ good fortune and to be sure to count my own blessings before I start wishing I had others’.

In this new kind of FOMO, we will discover the freedom and joy we have in God and one another Share on X

Things we will NOT miss out on with the new FOMO:

On the other hand, the new kind of FOMO, the Freedom of Missing Out means that we will not miss out on things that are essential to a healthy soul:

We will not miss out on …God:

It occurred to me that we should actually have a healthy fearof missing out on God. Just yesterday I read this verse:

Be still in the presence of the Lord, And wait patiently for him to act. Ps. 37:7

When we enjoy the freedom of missing out on the many allurements social media holds out to us, we discover how our souls prosper and flourish in the presence of the Lord. Before his face, we bask in his delight, his grace, his forgiveness, his plans and purposes for us.

We will not miss out on…

True Community:

Don’t get me wrong – I love my “Facebook community,” but the images and words are no substitute for sitting across the table from a good friend or gathering with a group of friends and strangers alike to celebrate a wedding. Because God made us with bodies, because Christ appeared in the flesh, we must not forsake the joy of being together, face to face.

Dear friends, what would this world become if we lived into this new kind of FOMO, this Freedom of Missing Out and Fear of Missing Out on God and one another??

I just wonder…would psychologists start writing articles about this strange phenomenon of people enjoying new freedom because they have   dared to forfeit opportunities in the world in order to gain their souls? Mark 8:36

A Prayer for the Freedom of Missing Out

Lord, you know how our hearts, how we are so easily tempted to compare ourselves with others, forgetting how expertly you have crafted us. You know our needy, greedy proclivities towards envy, towards wanting things others have while forgetting the many benefits you have bestowed. Help, we cry, help. Help us to satisfy our hearts in you and enjoy the Freedom of Missing Out on cheap substitutes. In Jesus’ more-than-enough name, Amen.

Redemption Stories and Sister-Friends

Redemption Stories and Sister-Friends

What’s your redemption story?

This month, we’ve been focusing on stories, writing, sharing, living, and reading them. One of my favorite summer stories is one of redemption, pretty birds and bird poop, and authentic sisterhood.

The story I remembered involves three moms I have shared stories with for over 20 years. We have walked together through both pretty bird and poopy bird stories and seen God’s redemption story working through them all. I pray this simple story compels you to share your stories in community as a radical reminder of God’s wild and glorious ways.

My Redemption Story Part 1: Pretty Birds

Early on a humid Saturday morning, I was enjoying a vigorous workout walk on the beach with these three dear sister-friends.

Conversation meandered from the mundane,

“I wonder if it will rain later,”

to the musing and a-musing:

“How did we go from discussing diapers to dating without any signs of personal aging:)…?”

Sister-friend one spotted a flock of birds in formation and practically clapped her hands in delight at God’s creation, “Look how pretty the birds are!”

My Redemption Story, Part 2: Bird Poop

And I said….
I said…
Yes, well, I’m ashamed to say, I said…

“Until they poop on you.”

Yes, that’s what I said.  I don’t know what came over me.  Well, I sort of do.

One kind sister-friend burst into laughter and remonstrated gently, “ELIZABETH!!”

With her response, I too wondered at myself.  Why would I rain so liberally on my first sister-friend’s delight?  What was with me?

Redemption Story Part 3: Seeking Truth in Community

Though it was sort of a silly moment, I could not shake it from my mind.  God had been tugging at me lots about my cynicism and negativity.  I felt alternately sad and shocked at my remark.  The memory of the moment followed me for the rest of the day.

Later that night, I was talking with one of these stalwart sister-friends who had the grace to be shocked at my cynicism. We were discussing our fierce desire to put our toxic-tongue-disease behind us.

I said, “It’s like the comment I made this morning.  It seems like God is frequently revealing this tendency toward negativity.”

She explained, “What struck me about it is that you are NOT a negative person.  I don’t think of you as cynical.  It just seemed so out of character.”

With Spirit-prodding words, the Father urges me, “Live in and out of your redemption, my dear daughter. Share on X

And together we wondered about it.  She’s right.  My nature is to be an encourager.  But I do have a long streak of cynicism and a sin-natural bent toward criticism in me.

God is knocking on my door, saying, “Enough.”  With frequency, the Holy Spirit sneaks up on me and shines the light on my sin and shouts, “That’s not who you really are!”

I am grateful.  Grateful for the Holy Spirit who grabs my heart when I envision ugliness like bird poop dropping on a happy day. Grateful for friends who say, “But that’s not who you are…”

And most grateful for an odd God who sometimes in fact does allow bird-poop to drop on a sweet girl enjoying a sunny day in the park.

One good redemption story leads to another…

For indeed, part of what I was thinking about when I made my poopy comment was of something that had happened recently to my daughter.

She was in London for a Serge internship. Enjoying a sunny day sitting under a tree, she was sadly surprised when a bird rained on her parade. Somehow, my delightful daughter found a way to laugh at the insanity of it all! In fact, it led to an opportunity to share the gospel! But that’s another story – and it’s hers to tell!

Photo Credit: Frank McKenna, Unsplash

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Summer Reading: 5 Books for You

Summer Reading: 5 Books for You

Summer Reading

I’m that former English teacher who always loved summer reading, even as a kid. As a student, I loved poring over that glossy brochure of books our school handed us (even when I didn’t like ALL of the assigned books). When my kids came along and their schools required very little or no summer reading, I imposed reading on them but tried to give lots of good choices.

5 Favorite Summer Reading Choices

Mean Soup by Betsy Everitt

I am a firm believer that all adults should read children’s books regularly. Mean Soup was a school book fair find which I bought more for myself than my kids. I love the story of Horace’s bad day, the brightly-colored, louder-than-life illustrations, and the fact that his mother knew just what to do.

2. The Light Princess & Other Tales by George MacDonald

Christians always seem to include George MacDonald on their fiction reading lists — he did influence C.S. Lewis after all! I include the fairy tales because they’re funny and punny. The Light Princess plays on double meanings of words like “light” and “gravity,” and her romance and rescue will have you laughing and cheering. In 2004, we found Light Princess, and my daughter and I read it from the computer (A novelty then!). (Turns out PagebyPagebooks.com still exists!).

3. The Water Is Wide: A Memoir by Pat Conroy

I first read this one for summer reading as a first-year English teacher in Augusta, Ga. The story took place on a small South Carolina island not far from us, and it featured a new, funny, compassionate teacher, so naturally I enjoyed it. The eighth graders and I fell in love with “Conrack,” the young hero who bucked the system to teach kids no else thought worth the trouble. And, special bonus, there was a movie to watch when we finished discussing the book!

4. Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold by C. S. Lewis

Speaking of C.S. Lewis, I’ve read his tragic but redemptive tale of love, victimization, arrogance, and shame at least five times. Little blue post-it notes stick out of my copy, marking lines like, “”They used my own pen to probe my wound,” and “Then I did a thing which I think few have done. I spoke to the gods myself, alone, in such words as came to me, not in a temple, and without a sacrifice.” It’s intense, sad, strong, and beautiful.

5. East of Eden by John Steinbeck

True confession. I’m not, or at least, I wasn’t, really a John Steinbeck fan. I had been required to read The Grapes of Wrath and to teach The Pearl and Of Mice and Men. When I thought of Steinbeck, images of dust and long slow sorrow came to mind. But my oldest daughter finished this book this spring and urged me to read it. She promised me it wasn’t so sad, that it actually told a redemptive story, so I scheduled it for my convalescence from hip surgery a few years ago. With roots in the characters and concepts of the Book of Genesis, the vast story explores good and evil, love and envy, labor and fruitfulness. Whether you agree with the theological/philosophical conclusions or not, it is a really great story that will make you think hard. I miss it already, and I look forward to having a full conversation with my daughter about it.

The Real Reason We Should Say Merry Christmas

The Real Reason We Should Say Merry Christmas

Should we really say “Merry Christmas”?

It’s been years now since the heated controversies began about various retail outlets changing their official greeting from “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays.”

Forget that controversy – there’s a better reason to ask if we should really say Merry Christmas. It has more to do with the sometimes hard realities of Christmas.

We are well into the Advent season now, and it’s probably a good time to tell the truth about the first Christmas:

The first Christmas arrived in a season of suffering and silence.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get this very mixed-up notion that Christmas should be a season of continual merriment and joy. Then it really bothers me when I am confronted by the ravages of a world wrecked by sin and sorrow:

  • Destruction: unsuspecting victims murdered en masse, wars and rumors of wars
  • Disease: balded children fighting leukemia; balded moms fighting breast cancer…
  • Division: hatred and hostility dividing people groups, marriages ripped by cruelty, sweet friendships soured by gossip
  • Darkness: severe depression eclipsing the light of any hope…

Here’s what I forget: people long-ago also suffered the shalom wrecked by the fall – destruction, disease, division, darkness – it was all there, and yet God had been silent for 400 years.

The first “Merry Christmas”: GOOD TIDINGS OF GREAT JOY!

It was into this sorrowful, silent season the angel Gabriel burst with the original Christmas card:

Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you! Luke 1:28

THE LORD IS WITH US!!! That’s the game-changer. That’s the REAL REASON we can say a whole-hearted “MERRY CHRISTMAS”!

“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone” (Isaiah 9:2).

Into a sorrowful, silent season, the angel arrived with the first good tidings of great joy! Share on XAccording to this gospel, those who have just a mustard seed of faith in Christ as Savior are living a new life, whether it appears that way or not. We still struggle with sin, but we do not mourn as those without hope.

We live with the memory and daily evidence of Christ-redeeming and restoring —

We wait for the Lord to come again and make it all right:

“They shall not hurt or destroy
in all my holy mountain;
for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea.” Isaiah 11:9

“In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world!” Jn. 16:33

And so we can rejoice on the days when Christmas doesn’t feel merry. This is not a strange path we walk.

And we will not walk this path forever.

And so, in the name of the one who has humbled himself to enter this world as a babe in the manger, in the name of the One who will come again as Redeeming King to heal finally and forever, I wish you a …

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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