by Elizabeth | Feb 23, 2011 | Learning Story
The crucified condensation heart
Yesterday started rough in the hope department. Almost five months ago, my shoulder underwent surgery to repair a rotator cuff. Fall has turned to winter and spring is nighing, but the shoulder and accompanying arm are still reluctant to swing into full gear. Even worse, most of the time it feels like I have a second-degree sunburn — INSIDE my shoulder and bicep. Some days I’m hopeful it will rise fluidly; others I doubt. On a doubting day, God invited me to see His heart and to pronounce these true words:
“As for you, God, your way is perfect, Your Word is proven. You are a shield to all who take refuge in You. Who is our Rock besides You, o God?” Psalm 18:30-31
“Answer me, O Lord, for your lovingkindness is good. In the abundance of your mercies, turn to me.” (Psalm 69:16)
“I love you, Lord, because you heard my voice and my supplications. Because you turned your ear to me, I will call on you as long as I live.” (Psalm 116:1-2)
“I will give thanks to you, the God of heaven, for your merciful love endures forever.” (Psalm136:26)
A condensation heart. A condensed heart. Right there before my very face, making the heart of God ‘my-size’ – large enough not to be ignored, small enough that it fits in two window panes, misshapen enough that it seems just right for me, inexplicably there – condensation, sure – in a heart-shape on the window where I go to pray – huh??? There is no other condensation on that window. And, as of this writing, fifteen minutes after I first saw it, it is still there.
God there, in my window, telling me He loves me.
Then to open my daily prayer book and find love sprinkled liberally through all of the passages.
“I love you, my daughter.” “Your faith has made you well; now go in peace, to love and serve the Lord.”
To call me to say these words, “As for you, God, your way is perfect, Your Word is proven.”
So that I would say these words, “Lord, I surrender this shoulder to you. I surrender healing or not-healing. It is yours to do with as you will. I surrender my capacity to understand why. It is not because I am doing something wrong it is not better yet. It is not because the doctor or physical therapist is doing something wrong.”
Your Way is perfect, and your love is perfect.
by Elizabeth | Feb 19, 2011 | Learning Story
I’ve always loved this song (written by Gillian Welch), and I never hear it without remembering our older daughter singing along when she was about 4, “I am a NORTHERN, on God’s highway…”
Whenever I hear it, I think of the one day when there will be no more orphans, when we will live forever in eternal unity, no more tears, no more brokenness, no more death, disease, disaster…(Revelation 21:1-5)
I am an orphan on God’s highway
But I’ll share my travels if you go my way
I have no mother no father
No sister no brother
I am an orphan girl
I have had friendships pure and golden
But the ties of kinship I have not known them
I know no mother no father
No sister no brother
I am an orphan girl
But when He calls me I will be able
To meet my family at God’s table
I’ll meet my mother my father
My sister my brother
No more orphan girl
Blessed Savior make me willing
And walk beside me until I’m with them
Be my mother my father
My sister my brother
I am an orphan girl
by Elizabeth | Feb 15, 2011 | Learning Story
Do you want to be happy?
“Christians are often skittish about happiness,observes Ellen Charry. They live in the hope of heaven but are somewhat nervous about experiencing too much joy this side of paradise.”
From the book cover of God and the Art of Happiness
Ellen Charry, an academic theologian, “writes from practical concern, especially for readers who wonder if life is ‘more than a vale of tears simply to be slogged through somehow in hopes of a heavenly reward.’ She wonders this herself, having recently lost her husband of 40 years to an ‘untimely and pointless death.'” (Christianity Today review online.)
I think I have a pretty good understanding of Christian suffering, but I’m a little tentative about happiness. Charry chooses St. Augustine as the entry point for tackling the subject — here is one summary of Augustine’s view of happiness:
“…all people want to be happy, and God has made this possible; humans are defined as both body and soul, implying (against the Stoics and Plotinus) that the well-being of the body is important. Further, human life is purposeful: to become wise and filled by enjoying God as much as possible in this life is to achieve our purpose, knowing that here we will never be completely safe from suffering and distress. Only those who know or have God to the fullest experience this spiritual joy.”
For reflection:
What do you think about God and happiness?
What makes you happy?
What is your purpose in life? Does living a life of purpose give you happiness?
by Elizabeth | Feb 14, 2011 | Learning Story
Can Jesus do this problem??
When I was 15, I became a Christian at a Young Life camp. For the first month or so after that, I had this sense that Jesus was with me everywhere I went. There I was working in the school library — Jesus was there, smiling at me, handing me the book to shelve. Walking into the lunchroom, wondering if I would find my friends to sit with, there he was.
But the best place he went with me was Algebra II. I really studied for Algebra II tests, but they were still so hard. I remember the first Algebra II test after I became a Christian — Jesus sat in the desk right next to me. I worked on the test and would occasionally look over and see him there, cheering me on. I even asked him the answer to question 22, and he tried but he was no good at Algebra II:) (Before anyone strikes me down for heresy, I’ll admit, I am sure an all-knowing God can do Algebra:)– but does He want to??) .
I have no idea what I made on the test or in the class. The point for me was — he was with me wherever I went, and he really didn’t care how I did in school. He loved me before the test, during the test, and after the test. He wanted me to ‘come to him’ and know his love.
Sometimes as a grownup, I forget that he is with me wherever I go. I forget how much he loves me. As weird as that story may sound, I think it’s probably closer to the reality of our lives as Christians than we know.
Here’s my valentine for you: your heart for Jesus beams his love into every nook and cranny of this broken and beautiful world. His heart for you is even bigger than that.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
by Elizabeth | Feb 11, 2011 | Learning Story
Some of the awesome campaign staff -- there were many, many more!
This is part two of a blog(see part 1, Kirby Knows) about my experiences on the Auburn University campus this past week as our eldest son campaigned for Student Body President. Yesterday I wrote about three aspects of the campaign team that awed me. Here are two more:
Values and Vision: I was awed to hear the campaign workers and Kirby discuss the platform. They had a vision to add to the beauty of the campus by making good things better. They saw the broken places and moved to create better ways to do things. The contest wasn’t a popularity contest – all of the candidates believed in their platforms and wanted to explain them to anyone who would listen. The vision and values were summed up in Kirby’s pre-callout prayer, “To you be the glory, God!”
Gratitude and Celebration: I was awed by the excitement and celebration at the announcement of the results. In this case, my husband’s pictures do reveal the spirit of the moment. Kirby’s head bowed in prayer with his girlfriend tucked at his side waiting eagerly, the workers surrounding them in various positions of anticipation. Even without hearing the announcement, the upward motion of the Kirby-camp’s eruption defines a spirit of celebration. And then, when the interviews had been done, all of the congratulatory hugs and well-wishes spoken, when the large crowd had dispersed and the 15 or so remained alone in the cold night of the quad, Kirby asked us to gather one more time to pray before they went off to a victory party. The prayer was centered on gratitude for what God has done and will continue to do.
The campaign slogan was “Kirby knows.” That is true. He and his team know leadership. They know their platform. They know it is one that will enhance Auburn University.
But best of all, God knows Kirby. God knows these young people. And I am in awe at what God has done in and through them for His glory.
