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A Prayer about Sorrow and Joy on Mother’s Day

by | May 13, 2023 | Daily Prayer, Mother's Day

A Prayer about Sorrow and Joy on Mother’s Day

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.”  Isaiah 49:15

Heavenly Father,

Today we honor mothers, 

rising up and blessing them 

for their tender care of their children. 

We thank you for nurturing mothers, 

for strengthening and helping them 

to do all of the things asked of moms—

clean, feed, and clothe; 

teach, admonish, and guide; 

counsel, cheer, and encourage….

Even as we do so, 

we recognize this can be a painful day 

for those who want that white rose at church 

but have not been blessed with a child 

or who have lost a child early in life, 

whether in the womb or beyond.

It can be a painful day 

for those whose mothers 

were unable to mother them 

for any number of reasons. 

It can be a painful day 

for those who lost their mothers 

seemingly too soon or in the recent past.

We thank you that we can all come to you, 

the one who nurtures and gathers your children 

and teaches and guides and counsels and encourages us, 

for you care for us wherever we find ourselves on this Mother’s Day. 

In Jesus’ caring name. Amen.

Read Proverbs 31:10-31; Isaiah 49:15-16. 

The Mother’s Day Gift She’s Sure to Love

by | May 4, 2021 | Mother's Day, Weekly Gospel Meditation, Writing

The Mother’s Day Gift She’s Sure to Love

Her children rise up and call her blessed. Proverbs 31:28

I’ll be honest. I’m not really looking forward to this Mother’s Day. It will be the first since my mom died. I didn’t always do a good job of celebrating her. Life got busy, and of course I had my own Mother’s Day to celebrate with my kids. It was also hard to come up with a gift. Especially in the latter years of her life, she insisted that she didn’t want any more “stuff,” so it was hard  to find something she would want. She also didn’t enjoy going out to eat as much as she once had, so I couldn’t take her to lunch. The last few years I usually just settled on a scarf or some earrings and a handmade card. When I was going through her “stuff” after she died, I was surprised to see how many of my Mother’s Day and other cards she had saved. I don’t know why I was surprised. I usually save all the cards my kids send me. There is something about a kid (even, or especially, an adult kid) taking the time to write things down.

All of this leads me to this guide to writing a thank-you letter to your mom. I know, buying a card and signing it is easier. Sending a handprint of your preschooler is easier. Writing a thank-you letter is hard, because we have to stop and think about our mother’s life and how it has shaped us. We have to try to put words to thoughts that are hard to articulate.

It’s even harder if you lost your mother early in life or if your mother wasn’t much of a mother to you. Maybe you would like to consider writing a thank-you letter to someone who has mothered you well. I pray there’s someone in your life like that. It may even be a friend around your same age. Some of you, like me, may have lost your mother recently. I plan to do this exercise in remembrance. I believe it will help me as I grieve. Maybe it would help you too.

Life is short, and words are meaningful. Let’s take the time to write them down and give them to our moms.

To get you started, I’ve provided a few prompts and tips for writing.

Prompts:

Tell her something you love about her…

Her cooking, her sense of humor, her wits, the way she provided for you and your family

Tell her a way she’s really helped you…

Always being there when you call or text

Bringing your lunch to school when you forgot it

Taking care of your kids so you could get some time away

Tell her about a characteristic or practice she has that you’d like to develop…

Her kindness, faithfulness, boldness

Her discipline in reading the Bible, her commitment to exercise, her love of prayer

Tell her about lasting impact she’s made…

on the world, on you, on your family, on your friends, on her work.

Think about things she’s really good at…

things she says a lot (even if you got tired of hearing it),

things she loves…

Tips for Writing Your Letter

  1. Pray about it. Ask God to help your memory and your imagination. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the right words.
  2. Brainstorm…Set a timer for 15 minutes and get all your ideas down on paper or into the voice recorder on your phone. Talk to your siblings or your dad if you get stuck. Try to come up with as many specific examples of things your mom has done for you as you can.
  3. Write a rough draft. Set a timer for 15 minutes and just start writing. You can always change things later.
  4. Don’t worry about having the right grammar or the best words.
  5. Do try to be specific…remember to try to “show” rather than “tell”:

If you do this exercise, I’d love to hear about it. Comment below or shoot me an email here.

5 Quotes for When Parenting Is Hard

by | May 14, 2019 | Gospel living, Marriage, Mother's Day, Parenting

5 Quotes for When Parenting Is Hard

In the third post of our series about mothers, we include mothers and fathers and grandparents.

As we all know, parenting isn’t always cute coos and infant smiles. When the toddler or teenage screams overwhelm you, when parenting is hard, these five quotes from parents and grandparents will encourage you.

Ann Voskamp

I never expected that a mother’s labor and delivery never ends — and you never stop having to remember to breathe.
I didn’t know that taking the path of most resistance often leads to the most reward.
I didn’t know that you kids would birth me deeper into God and I didn’t know that you’d drive me crazy and I didn’t know how you’d drive me to the Cross….
And the Gospel has never stopped being the good news headline that I’ve needed every day because I’ve been the one breaking.

Scotty Smith

Dear heavenly Father, yet again we turn to you as the designer and builder of all things, including the lives of our children and grandchildren. Thank you for reminding us that our children are a gift, not a project.
At times you’ve had to use a gospel wrecking ball on my parenting style in order to build something more lasting and beautiful. That process continues. But even when I’m overbearing or under believing, disengaged or too enmeshed, I am thankful to know that you remain faithful and loving.
Continue to rescue me from relational “laboring in vain” — assuming a burden you never intended parents to bear. Father, only you can reveal the glory and grace of Jesus to our children.

Scott Sauls

It is hard for a controlling type-A to surrender anything, especially the author rights to his own children’s stories.

And yet, if their stories were to unfold in unexpected ways — having dreams go unfulfilled, experiencing loss, being brokenhearted, enduring a spiritual crisis — hope would not be lost, because God would still be in control of things. And it is always better for God to be in control of things than for us to be in control of things.

Dan Allender

Nothing my son or daughters will do can alter the plan and passion of God. There are ultimately no mistakes in life. There are sins and failures, to be sure, but no mistakes. And nothing that is inscribed in the text of one’s life is not ultimately authored by a merciful God….
The collapse of our dreams or their rise, the kindness and fidelity of those we love, are all the scribbling of a genius God.

Judy Douglass

How? For me, this became the question God kept before me: Could I continue to receive this boy as a gift? Slowly the Father opened my eyes and heart to see the many ways God had blessed me.

He drove me into God’s arms….
My heavenly Father welcomed me into his loving arms, captured all my tears, listened to me cry out, yell at him, and beg him. When I was ready to give up, he held me up with his righteous right arm, sharing his strength and courage with me.

He taught me to pray.

I’m a ministry leader. I thought I knew how to pray. But this boy kept me on my knees. Yes, I asked, beseeched, and pleaded. And I lamented. I confessed. I reminded God what his Word said. I thanked. I listened. All of the above, almost all the time.

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A Good Read for Hard Times: The Waiting Room Devotional

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How (and Why) to Write Your Mother’s Story

by | May 7, 2019 | Gospel Coaching, Learning Story, Mother's Day

How (and Why) to Write Your Mother’s Story

As we continue our focus on moms, this week we consider our own moms or mother figures in our lives. 

A story about writing a mother’s story

It had never occurred to me before, and I don’t know why it occurred to me now. We had been asked in a writer’s workshop I was attending to tell a story about bones, possibly broken bones. Well, I have a great broken bone story, so I was ready to dive right in. I would tell the story I’ve told many times before, about the day I shattered my elbow into twenty-five pieces when I was eleven. Our teacher set a timer for fifteen minutes and told us to write what happened.

That’s when it occurred to me, and I have to admit, I felt a little selfish that I’m almost fifty-seven years old, and it had never occurred to me before. I wondered, “What was that day like for my mom?” That’s when I decided to write the story from her perspective. Instead of telling my version of the story, I tried to picture what that day had been like for her. I began to write what I imagined might have happened. I wrote quickly for fifteen minutes and still had more to write when the timer ended.

How it changed me:

Rather than sharing what I wrote that day, I want to share what happened inside of me as I wrote what my mom might have gone through in that season:

Tears began to leak down my cheeks. I actually felt the terror she might have felt when she answered the phone and a strange voice on the other end of the line reported, “Your daughter has been in a bike accident!”

I wondered in writing:

  • What did it feel like for her when the policeman at the accident scene remarked, “Isn’t that her bone sticking out of her arm”?
  • What stress did she endure as a single working mom when her daughter was admitted to the hospital for three weeks?
  • What was it like to worry about the financial burden of two surgeries and countless hours of physical therapy placed on her and her ex-husband?

I felt something swelling inside of me—I’m pretty sure it was empathy for my mother.

The time has come but not passed (thankfully) for me to ask these questions and others about her stories. That day, I concluded my invented story with this observation:

When I was a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. The time has come to think like a grown-up daughter, to wonder about my mother’s story. The time has come to seek and to knock, to ask forgiveness and to forgive, to… Share on X

If you’d like to try writing your mother’s story, I created a full story journal with guidelines, multiple prompts, and a few reflection questions for all of my wonderful Living Story subscribers. You can get that free resource by subscribing here.

If you prefer a briefer version of just this particular prompt, try the instructions below:

 

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How to write a story from your mother’s point of view:

  1. Choose a significant event from your life that your mother was involved in in some way.
  2. Don’t worry about grammar or sentence structure or any “English teacher” type things. Just tell the story.
  3. Try to show what happened:
    • Describe the setting.
    • Write the dialogue: For example: What did the stranger say when he or she called my mom? How did my mom reply?
    • Consider your mother’s season and circumstance and how your life event might have affected her.
  4. Write down everything you can remember about it.
  5. Now, imagine what that event was like for her. See it through her eyes.
  6. At the end, write what you see now about your mother that you did not see before.
  7. Do you see any ways that your love, empathy, and/or forgiveness toward your mom grew through this exercise?
  8. If your mom is still alive, consider asking your mom about this event. Ask her to tell you the story from her point of view.

Questions to consider as you try to write from your mom’s perspective:

  • What would have been her struggles in that situation? What stresses might she have endured? What fears or sorrows might she have had?
  • What would she have said to her husband or her friend that she would not have said to you?

For a joyous event:

  • What would she have celebrated?
  • What would she have been most excited about (Remember, it might not be what you were most excited about!)

Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

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A Letter to New Moms: What I Wish I Had Known

by | Apr 30, 2019 | Gospel living, Mother's Day, Parenting

A Letter to New Moms: What I Wish I Had Known

It’s not May yet, but Mother’s Day is in less than two weeks. For the next three weeks, we’re going to talk about moms. But if you’re not a mom, please don’t leave:

  • Consider sharing with young moms this week’s letter (you might find yourself nodding even if you’re an “old mom” like me);
  • Stay tuned for next week when we talk about how (and why) to tell some of your stories from your mother’s point of view
  • Snap up five quotes for when parenting is hard.

For today, enjoy these musings on the struggles and joys of being a new mom:

New Moms May Struggle for Control and Competence

The bad news: Out (or in) comes the baby—out flies control and competence! 

As a new mom, you will quickly realize that you have lost control and perhaps a sense of competence. In your former life as an English teacher, you knew what you were doing, but with childbirth, your life is flooded with uncertainty.

  • That 6 hour epidural-free labor you planned — how about a 33-hour pitocin induction instead?
  • That 2-year-old you thought would never scream in the super market? Just hand over the gummy vitamins!

The good news: Being a new mom will humble you — I mean — flat-out-on-the-floor humble. 

Being a new mom will literally drive you to your knees, and while you’re down there fetching toys or changing a diaper, you might as well pray: A LOT! You will become, ironically, like a child, clinging to your Abba Father for moment-by-moment mercy.

Being a new mom will literally drive you to your knees—and while you're there, you might as well pray! #momlife #motherhood Share on X

New Moms May Struggle with a Sense of Shame and Failure

THE BAD NEWS: Being a new mom is a daily exercise in not-enoughness.

  • When that baby won’t sleep through the night the way What to Expect 21st C. edition promised it would, you might feel that you are flawed.
  • When you start shouting because your teething toddler won’t stop screaming, you will know you are flawed!

THE GOOD NEWS: It is good to know you are not-enough. You never were. Christ is enough, more than enough. The freedom and hope of the gospel is that our love and patience and kindness for our children grows as we enjoy God’s love and patience and kindness toward us.

You will grow in your understanding that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), and you will show your child what she most needs to know: in Christ, there is always hope for repentance and forgiveness; we never have to stay in shame or condemnation!

New Moms Don’t Have the Power to Make the Story Go our Way

THE BAD NEWS:  Your parenting story, your child’s story, like the six-hour epidural-free labor you hoped for, will not often turn out the way you imagined it.

As you learn ever so quickly, even if you do things just right, there are no guarantees that what you do is going to “work.”

  • You nurse every two hours, just as the lactation consultant told you, but your milk still isn’t coming in.
  • You teach that 10-month-old-early-walker the word “no,” and you even try to distract her. She pauses long enough to shoot you a look you will see again when she is a teenager. Then she goes ahead and climbs on the kitchen chair.

THE GOOD NEWS: God is writing a better story than we could ever imagine. He is redeeming our hearts as we let go of control and competence, as we humble ourselves and depend on Him, as we rest in his more-than-enough love for us!

From this old mom to all you new moms, take heart. You will likely struggle with some of these heart issues all of your parenting life, but the good news is that God is making all things new, redeeming our hearts and our children’s hearts through the sorrows and the joys.

A Prayer for New Moms

Lord, we bow before you, the only perfect parent. Wrap us, we pray, in your mothering wings, protecting us and nurturing us, even as we seek to nurture these children you have written into our stories. When we think we can’t change one more dirty diaper today or deal with one more toddler tantrum, give us the strength to endure, and the compassion to love. When we feel like complete failures because our kids are disobeying or not working the plan we had written for the day, help us to know your delight in us and our children. As we try to meet our children’s needs, help us to come to you as your children, knowing that you have called all who are weary and heavy-laden. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

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