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Numbering Our Days: Gospel Comfort for Caregivers

by | Sep 29, 2021 | Numbering Our Days, Suffering, Weekly Gospel Meditation

Numbering Our Days: Gospel Comfort for Caregivers

Dear Friends,

This month’s Numbering Our Days post is for all of you caregivers and all of the caregivers you love. Don’t forget to sign up if you want to receive the monthly column, Numbering Our Days: A Gospel Perspective on Aging, Caregiving, and End of Life in your inbox. You’ll also get the free Caregiver’s Checkup.

Did you know that caregiving can be hazardous to your health? It’s true. Studies have shown that the chronic stress of caregiving can be likened to the stress of war. And sadly, caregivers tend to prioritize their loved one’s health to the detriment of their own. In today’s linked post with the enCourage blog, learn how and why self-care for the caregiver is essential.

And as always with this series, please send me your thoughts and questions and struggles. I am praying for us all as we become intentional about numbering our days.

My father was dying of cancer, and I was caring for our twenty-two-year-old son who had already had three surgeries for a brain tumor and now required IV antibiotics four times daily. I skipped my yearly physical and my yearly mammogram. I ate more sugar and exercised less. I slept poorly. Strands of hair came out in my hands as I washed it. Dark half-moons carved themselves into the skin under my eyes, and fatigue fell over me like a persistent fog. During my most intense season of caregiving, my self-care deteriorated rapidly, and my body paid the price.

According to the 2020 AARP Study on Caregiving, I was not alone. Of the approximately 53 million people who are now providing unpaid care for an adult with “health or functional needs,” at least 23 percent say caregiving has worsened their physical health.[i] Kelly Markham, LCSW and palliative care expert, explains the lethal cycle: The caregiver believes that she alone can tend to the loved one properly; the loved one often reinforces that belief. Under the chronic stress of caregiving, the caregiver’s health suffers. Committed to caring for her loved one, the caregiver neglects her own care. Such neglect of self-care has been shown to lead to an earlier and higher mortality rate for caregivers as compared to non-caregivers.

Continue reading on the enCourage blog…

Hope for Recovery: God Is With Me

by | Sep 28, 2021 | Devotional, Suffering, Weekly Gospel Meditation

Hope for Recovery: God Is With Me

Win books! This month, as we celebrate the one-year-birthday of From Recovery to Restoration: 60 Meditations for Finding Peace & Hope in Crisis, I’m giving away four books each week. See above for this week’s books. Enter for a chance to win. To have more chances to win, share about the book more often or share the excerpts on the blog and let me know how many times you shared. 

Today’s blog is an excerpt from the devotional. I’ll be sharing excerpts every week. You can continue to share and have chances to win different books each week. 

You Are with Me

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil, for you are with me;Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4, ESV

Traversing the road of recovery is not unlike walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Each journey is complex and mysterious, of uncertain length, and fraught with unknown fears. And yet, according to David, who journeyed through many dark valleys, we can “fear no evil,” because we are not alone. The Lord is closer than whispering distance, guarding and guiding us with his presence. 

Imagine you find yourself in a narrow alleyway running between two high buildings in a dangerous urban area. No streetlights. No building lights. Stark starless night darkness. You can’t see the tips of your fingers, much less the end of the alleyway. It’s too late to return to the other side, before you saw what you saw, before the surgeon made the cut, before your loved one died. The recovery road has much in common with David’s valley of deep darkness.

Notice that David walks through this valley of deep darkness; he doesn’t run, even though he might be tempted to do so. Running isn’t usually an option when you’re recovering from disaster. Notice that David walks through this deep valley. There is no way around it; there is no turning back. The only way is to go through it, to get to the other side. Notice that David is alone in this deep darkness: “Even though I walk.” Even when we are in healthy community, we can feel isolated in recovery, as if no one else has ever walked this particular shadowland before. 

How would it be possible to fear no evil in a place of such “suspense and surmise,” in which “the evil of evils is uncertainty”? The answer comes in the pivot point, verse four, “For you are with me.” Earlier, David told us that the Lord, third person, is his shepherd; now he addresses the Lord directly:

“You are with me.”

You, the King of kings, are with me.

You, the Lion of Judah, are with me.

You, the Crusher of Satan, are with me.

Take heart, dear friends. His light, the light that has overcome the darkness, has flooded this dark valley. The Lord, your Shepherd, who protects and guides you with his staff, is with you. 

Prayer

Lord,

You are our Shepherd. We trust you to guide us, protect us, and secure us in this dark valley of deep uncertainty. Surround us with your love and mercy that we may never stray from you. Amen.

Further Encouragement

Read Psalm 23.

Listen to “God Is My Shepherd,” by Jon Foreman.

For Reflection

What dark valley are you walking through right now? What is uncertain and frightening? How does it help to know the Lord is your shepherd?

A Prayer about Help for the Falling

by | Sep 25, 2021 | Daily Prayer, Suffering

A Prayer about Help for the Falling

Our Strength and Our Song,

You have become our salvation. 

When we’ve been surrounded by enemies on every side—

financial stress, caregiving exhaustion, 

troubled teens, sickness and death, 

our own sinful choices,

buzzing around us like angry bees, 

we were “pushed hard,” 

and we were falling. 

We might have landed in the chasm of despair, 

but you helped us. 

Because you are our salvation,

“We shall not die but shall live, 

and recount the deeds of the Lord” (Psalm 118:17).

You have indeed opened the gates of righteousness to us, 

that we may “enter through them, 

and give thanks to the Lord” (Psalm 118: 19).

Today, we stand in awe of you, 

marveling at your rescue, 

singing with the saints,

“This is the day that the Lord has made; 

let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). 

In Jesus’ saving name. Amen.

Read Psalm 118:1-29. 

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When You Can’t Share Your Prayer Requests

by | Sep 21, 2021 | Devotional, Suffering, Weekly Gospel Meditation

When You Can’t Share Your Prayer Requests

Win books! This month, as we celebrate the one-year-birthday of From Recovery to Restoration: 60 Meditations for Finding Peace & Hope in Crisis, I’m giving away four books each week. See above for this week’s books. Enter for a chance to win. To have more chances to win, share about the book more often or share the excerpts on the blog and let me know how many times you shared. 

Today’s blog is an excerpt from the devotional. I’ll be sharing excerpts every week. You can continue to share and have chances to win different books each week. 

Unspoken

For we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

When our son was diagnosed with a brain tumor, I readily shared prayer requests for our many needs. Even as I shared, it occurred to me that many people do not ask for prayer because their crisis seems too painful or private to share. Maybe their daughter was harming herself, or their son was addicted to drugs, or their husband’s business was failing. 

If you struggle to find a voice or a place to share your prayer requests, whether because of sorrow or shame or shock, take heart. The good news of the gospel is that your Father knows your needs before you ask, the Holy Spirit and the Son are interceding for you, and God has provided trustworthy people on this earth to pray for you. Let’s consider each of these provisions in turn. 

First, Jesus, in teaching his disciples to pray simply and secretly, assured them, “your Father knows what you need even before you ask him” (Matthew 6:9). Unlike the robots Alexa or Siri, God always listens to our hearts and always understands our needs and requests, whether they’re spoken or unspoken.

Not only is the Father “attentive to our prayers” (1 Peter 5:12), he has also given us the Holy Spirit to dwell in us and to join us in our “unutterable groanings” (Romans 8:26). As the Spirit groans in us, the Father translates our requests and transforms our hearts, providing for our deepest needs (Romans 8:27). 

Not only is the Holy Spirit interceding for us, Jesus himself, the great High Priest actually sits on a throne beside his Father in heaven, interceding for us. According to Hebrews 7:25: “Therefore he is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf” (NLT). What we cannot speak for ourselves, Jesus speaks for us.

In addition to his ever-present attention and his Spirit and his Son’s intercession, God has given us in-the-flesh warriors, his church, to pray for us. While you may not want to share private or painful prayer requests with the whole church, you can find relief and healing in sharing your needs with one trusted friend, ministry leader, or pastor (James 5:12). The Lord has provided us community in Christ so that we don’t have to carry the burdens of crisis alone.

Dear friend, when your crisis feels too painful to share, take heart. The Father who knows all of your needs before you ask has provided a powerful army of prayer warriors to come alongside you and do battle for you. 

Prayer

Father,

You know the agony we feel when we can’t share the painful realities of our broken stories. Thank you for assuring us that your Son and your Spirit and your church groan alongside us. In Jesus’ advocating name we pray. Amen.

Further Encouragement

Read Matthew 6:5-8; Romans 8:25-34; Hebrews 7:25; James 5:12.

Listen to “Arise My Soul, Arise” by Indelible Grace.

For Reflection

If you have not been able to share your prayer needs during crisis, describe what that has been like. If you have felt free to share your prayer needs, describe what that has been like.

How to Wait Well in Crisis

by | Sep 14, 2021 | Devotional, Suffering, Weekly Gospel Meditation

How to Wait Well in Crisis

Win books! This month, as we celebrate the one-year-birthday of From Recovery to Restoration: 60 Meditations for Finding Peace & Hope in Crisis, I’m giving away four books each week. See above for this week’s books. Enter for a chance to win. To have more chances to win, share about the book more often or share the excerpts on the blog and let me know how many times you shared. 

Today’s blog is an excerpt from the devotional. I’ll be sharing excerpts every week. You can continue to share and have chances to win different books each week. 

Waiting or Whining?

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

And in his word I hope… Psalm 130:5, ESV

“Why does she get to graduate from PT when she’s only been here for two months, and I’ve been here for six?” My physical therapist responded kindly but firmly, “Not every shoulder surgery is the same. Some people have easier recoveries.” I turned my back to him and stuck out my tongue. Real mature. I was, without a doubt, becoming whiny in my wait to recover. 

When we’ve been the victim of a crisis, we can easily turn to victimization as a way of life. Self-help and self-pity may look like the way out of our distress, but they often lead to more whining and less waiting on the Lord. In Psalm 130, David shows us the way out of the whine. 

He cries out to the Lord from the depths of despair. His despair in this case is not caused by enemies pursuing him or by the brutal betrayal of King Saul, but by his own sin. David recognizes the dropdown knockout power of his own sin, “If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, who could stand?” (Psalm 130:3). He knows the Lord’s forgiveness for his sin is a sure cure for his worst injury. 

As we wait for healing from a harmful loss or a painful injury, as we wait for homes to be rebuilt or hearts to be renewed, David teaches us how to wait well: 

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

And in his word I hope;

My soul waits for the Lord,

More than watchmen wait for the morning,

More than watchmen wait for the morning” (Psalm 130:6).

To wait well, we must learn to turn our eyes away from ourselves and toward the Lord. We must become good watchmen for the Lord, seeking him in the darkness, certain that he will come soon, sure that his arrival will bring relief. As Jill Carrattini writes, we have every reason to hope as we wait, for “Christ himself can transform our watching and our waiting, our lives and our deaths, bringing light where death stings, tears discourage, and darkness haunts: the Light has already come!” 

When our focus in waiting shifts from recouping losses to recognizing redemption, we see even more reason to hope, “For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption” (Psalm 130:7). Dear friend, as you endure this hard wait, keep watching for the Lord. In him, you will find the help you need for all of your distress.

Prayer

Lord,

We confess that we often become whiny as we wait for recovery. Help us, we pray, to see your plentiful redemption, to seek your forgiveness for our sins. Turn our faces toward you, and help us to see the dawn which has already arrived in our Savior Jesus Christ. In his very near name we ask. Amen.

Further Encouragement

Read Psalm 130.

Listen to “I Will Wait for You” by Shane and Shane https://youtu.be/dwovhY8zNQM.

For Reflection

Have you found yourself moving toward self-pity, or have you noticed yourself whining in your wait for recovery? What has that looked like? Write or say a prayer of confession, and thank God for his mercy.

How to Take Heart in Hard Times

by | Sep 7, 2021 | Devotional, Learning Story, Suffering, Weekly Gospel Meditation

How to Take Heart in Hard Times

Win books! This month, as we celebrate the one-year-birthday of From Recovery to Restoration, I’m giving away four books each week. See above for this week’s books. Enter for a chance to win. To have more chances to win, share about the book more often or share the excerpts on the blog and let me know how many times you shared. 

Today’s blog is an excerpt from the devotional. I’ll be sharing excerpts every week. You can continue to share and have chances to win different books each week. 

Be of Good Cheer

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. John 16:33 NKJV

Here on the Gulf Coast of Florida, hurricane season threatens every year, tossing its mighty winds and roaring waters through our mind’s eye, arousing fears of future devastation and memories of past disaster. It’s been about fifteen years since Hurricane Ivan wreaked its havoc on our hometown, Pensacola, Florida, leaving a swath of blue roofs in its wake. 

We’ve recovered. But some never did. Some lost homes, businesses, even marriages to the disaster. They may have found a new home or started a new business, but the heartache of the catastrophe lingers. Maybe you haven’t been hit by a hurricane; maybe it was a divorce, a sudden revelation of a spouse’s affair. Maybe you were slapped with a cancer diagnosis. Or maybe your twenty-three-year-old has just renounced her faith.

The hard reality is that we may never fully recover from some of the disasters we endure. How can we live with hope in a world in which some losses will never be recouped? Jesus, in his final words to his disciples, anticipated this question. Shortly before his brutal crucifixion for a trumped-up crime, he prepared his followers for the disasters that mark life in a fallen world: 

“In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NKJV). 

Jesus’ words confound many of us, because western culture has fed us a lie: “This world is all there is,” it tells us, “and the things in it are here to make us happy.” Jesus contradicts this lie, telling his disciples, “Yes, in this world, you will suffer. I’m teaching you how to live in my world, my kingdom. Not only that, when I die and am raised again, you will have the resurrection power to live a different life, a new life, to recover what was lost in the fall. When you suffer, remember these things I have told you, and you will have peace. Not only that, you can be ‘of good cheer,’ ‘take courage,’ ‘not be afraid,’ ‘take heart’—because ‘I have overcome the world.’”

One day, not yet, but “soon,” Jesus tells us, I will return (Revelation 22:7). Then you will live with me in a new world, the world you were really made for. In that day, all of the pain and sorrow of the disasters you have faced will be washed away. All the sin—the clawing to get your own way, the clashing against loved ones over small differences, the clinging to things you think will satisfy you—it will be over. Overcome. Defeated. By me—your King. Love, Jesus. 

Dear friends, let’s take heart. There is something better that awaits. It is beyond recovery. It is restoration. It is renewal. It is reunion. Cheer loudly and long. Jesus has overcome the world.

Prayer

Lord Jesus,

Thank you for setting us straight. We are far too focused on finding joy in the things of this world. Help us to trust you when we suffer, to know that in you alone we will find peace and hope. In your cheering name we pray. Amen.

Further Encouragement

Read John 16.

Listen to “What a Friend” by Sara Groves.

For Reflection

What hope do you find in Jesus’ words to his disciples?