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Eight Ways the Church Can Care for the Mentally Ill

by | Dec 8, 2020 | Caregiving, Suffering

Eight Ways the Church Can Care for the Mentally Ill

Dear Friends,

It’s not surprising that the holiday season can be hard on those afflicted with a mental disorder. The church is uniquely placed to respond, and now is the time to learn how we can better love the afflicted. I hope this blog helps us all consider how we can serve the least and the lost in this season.

Stigma, Shame, and Misunderstanding of the Mentally Ill

One of the greatest catalysts to our pain was the sense that we are alone. Amy Simpson, Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church’s Mission

When author Amy Simpson’s mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, church leaders and members didn’t know what to say, so they said little, leaving her family feeling alone and helpless.

“Can you explain to me why Anna’s bipolar disorder and her dependence on medication is not an issue of weak faith or sin?”

A church leader asked this question of psychologist Matthew S. Stanford, author of Grace for the Afflicted: A Clinical and Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness. As Stanford points out, the question arose from the leader’s ignorance of the neurochemical component of mental illness.

As both vignettes suggest, the church needs to be better equipped to respond lovingly to people who suffer from mental illness.

Before COVID-19, one in four North Americans and one in five people worldwide suffered from a diagnosable mental illness; experts predict the post-COVID numbers will climb. Mental illness, defined as “‘medical conditions that disrupt a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others and daily functioning” includes such disorders as “major depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, and borderline personality disorder” (Simpson, Troubled Minds, 37). Because of the many barriers the mentally ill often face in finding help, the church is one of the first places they may turn. As Dr. Stanford explains in his book, “The involvement of the church in mental health is the missing piece necessary to transform our broken system, making it accessible and more effective” (Stanford, Grace for the Afflicted, 254). Churches are well-placed to minister to this segment of the least and the lost—how can we rise to the challenge?

Is the Church Equipped to Respond to Mental Illness?

A Lifeway Study of 2014 revealed that most churches are ill-equipped to respond to the mentally ill. The following struggles were noted:

  • Lack of plans to come alongside families (note: 17% of youth suffer from a mental health disorder).
  • Lack of counselors on staff.
  • Lack of training for leaders on recognizing and responding to mental illness.
  • Lack of communication to congregations about mental health resources.
  • A “stigma and culture of silence that leads to shame” (Lifeway Study of Acute Mental Illness and Christian Faith Research Report)

Eight Practical Ways the Church Can Care for the Mentally Ill

As members of the body of Christ, what steps can we take to care well for the mentally ill and their families? Let’s consider the following eight possibilities:

  1. Educate and equip pastors and ministry leaders to recognize and respond.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI.org), has programs (Nami FaithNet) specifically designed to educate clergy and religious organizations on how they can help.

  1. Educate the congregation.

An adult education class about mental illness could focus around a book like Matthew S. Stanford’s Grace for the Afflicted or Amy Simpson’s Troubled Minds. Some churches hold classes led by professional counselors on mental health and a biblical perspective.

  1. Speak out with compassion.

Pastors and ministry leaders can speak openly about mental illness in sermons, Sunday school, Bible studies, and small groups. As they communicate care and concern, the afflicted recognize a safe place to share struggles.

  1. Make mental illness part of pastoral care ministries.

A pastoral care ministry could develop and publicize a list of mental health resources that includes local counselors, support groups, and the number of local warmlines as well as suicide hotlines (e.g., The Florida CLEAR warmline, which is, “for individuals with a mental illness who want to talk with someone who shares personal experience coping with mental health issues”).

  1. Address biblical misconceptions.

Pastors and ministry leaders can address biblical misconceptions about mental illness, particularly as related to suicide. As Dr. Stanford explains, “When an individual comes to a saving faith in Jesus, they are made righteous and forgiven for every sin; past, present, and future, including suicide (Ephesians 1:7)….Suicide is not the determining factor for eternal life; a saving faith in Jesus is.” (Stanford, p. 232).

  1. Offer support groups.

Many churches have begun support groups for the mentally ill and their families. At New Heights Church in Vancouver, Washington, pastor’s wife Cindy Hannan began a group after experiencing profound loneliness when her son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She partnered with a physician on staff of the church medical clinic, Dr. Elaine Tse. They believe that “with medication, counseling, and good support, people with mental illness can flourish” (Simpson, Troubled Minds, 212). For more information on beginning a support group in your local church, check out Grace Alliance and Fresh Hope.

  1. Listen well and offer the hope of Christ.

One of the most valuable ways to offer community support to the mentally ill and their loved ones is to listen empathetically without trying to fix.  Hope is essential to recovery and healthy living. We as Christians have the hope that surpasses all understanding, the firm conviction that Jesus Christ will return to restore all broken creation.

    1. Pray.

Finally, we should always begin and end with prayer. Pastors and ministry leaders can be intentional about praying for the mentally and emotionally afflicted as well as the physically afflicted. We as individuals can make a regular practice of praying for all people affected by mental illness.

In this season, which often intensifies suffering, may we pray and act to come alongside the mentally ill and their loved ones.

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Why Inviting Others into Your Grief Matters

by | Oct 20, 2020 | Bible study, Devotional, Suffering

Why Inviting Others into Your Grief Matters

Have you ever had say something completely insensitive to you when you were grieving a loss? In today’s blog, we consider why we need to take the risk of inviting others to grieve with us, even when they may get it wrong. (This is an outtake from From Recovery to Restoration, because I accidentally wrote 61 meditations instead of 60!).

Letting Others Weep with Us

Weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15, ESV

When her nine-year-old daughter was diagnosed with leukemia, Malea often met with awkward responses. One friend was so distraught upon hearing the news that Malea had to comfort her in the church parking lot for ten minutes. Another friend spotted her in the grocery store then turned quickly and scurried away. A hospital visitor told her about a distant cousin who had recently died of leukemia. When we are in the midst of crisis, people will not always respond helpfully. Even so, Scripture calls us to invite the body of Christ into our grief, because God uses his church as a conduit of his healing and hope.

The command to “weep with those who weep” comes right in the middle of Paul’s instructions about living as the body of Christ (Romans 12). If we are “those who weep,” others are called to weep with us, and we are called to allow them to do so, even invite them to do so. How does God work in this communal grief?

Dr. Gerry Sittser, who lost his wife, daughter, and mother in a car accident, wrote that he often felt numb after their deaths, unable to pray and sing in church. He said, “The church is a community. Sometimes some members of that community, even through time and space, carry others, because we do not have the capacity to function the same way. I remember very vividly my inability to sing and pray in the months and, really, years after the accident. I decided to let the church sing and pray for me, not only the church here and now but the church everywhere, and well, ‘everywhen.’”

As Sittser suggests, in the season following crisis and loss, we may find ourselves spiritually, physically, and emotionally incapacitated. By the power of the Holy Spirit, the church embodies Christ’s love, entering our grief, and bearing us along in our weakness. Here are just a few of the ways God might bring you healing and hope through his church:

When you are struggling with doubt, others will believe and hope for you, lifting you to the Lord with their prayers and encouragement.

When you are feeling discouraged, a friend will share a story of how God rescued in their lives or in Scripture, and you will gain courage for the journey.

When you can’t focus long enough to read Scripture or pray, someone will send you a verse or a prayer that gives you new courage.

When your tears seem to fall unceasingly, friends will weep with you and for you, reminding you that you are never alone in your grief.

Dear friend, it may feel risky to invite others to weep with you. But as you do, you will discover a powerful source of healing and hope.

Prayer

Lord,

Thank you for integrating us into the body you have created in Christ. Help us to trust others enough to invite them into our grief, and help them to enter it with your grace and love. In Jesus’ weeping name, Amen.

Further Encouragement

Read Romans 12; Hebrews 10:24-25; 1 Corinthians 13:7.

Listen to “Blest Be the Tie” by Sara Groves.

For Reflection

In what ways have people joined you in your grief? In what ways could you reach out to invite others into your grief?

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What to Do When the News Is Overwhelming

by | Oct 6, 2020 | Devotional, Gospel living, Suffering

What to Do When the News Is Overwhelming

Dear Friends, 

I don’t know about you, but I can be sucked into the media scrolls and screens. In this season, perhaps more than ever, we need to remember where to set our minds. Enjoy this excerpt from From Recovery to Restoration: 60 Meditations for Finding Peace & Hope in Crisis today. 

Set Your Minds on Things Above

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Colossians 3:1, ESV

We scroll through our social media feeds, searching Twitter, Facebook, Instagram—for what?  We glue our eyes to the news at any and every hour of the day, filling our minds with words and words and words from people we don’t know and barely trust. Pandemic panic has set in, and our world is seeking hope and help, but the apostle Paul suggests we may be looking in the wrong places. 

Paul reminds us that we have been raised with Christ; that reality changes everything about where we should look for hope and help. He tells us to “seek the things above, where Christ is…” (Colossians 3:1). To seek the things above is to seek the one who first sought us—Jesus. To seek the things above is to look first for the things that Jesus cares most about, his kingdom and his righteousness. As we seek the things above, we find provision for all of our needs, and our anxiety subsides (Matthew 6:25-34).

Not only must we seek the things above, we must “set [our] minds on the things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2). We must “set our minds,” or “fix our minds.” To fix our minds is to have the intense concentration of a world-champion chess player, to have the laser focus of a brain surgeon. For Christians, it means that instead of fixating on non-stop news, we instead fill our minds with the things of Christ, his rule and his reign, his glory and his grace.

Setting our minds on things above does not mean that we ignore the things of this earth. It simply means that we begin by seeking Christ in Scripture, in prayer, and in fellowship with other believers. As we set our compass on Christ, we remain on course to live as he has called us to live on this earth. During crisis, moms and medical people, delivery workers and truck drivers will focus their minds and energy on the earthly tasks that need to be accomplished to care for those they serve. But they will do so while praying, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).

Finally, setting our minds on the things above will help us remember that the day of restoration is coming. When our lives are centered on Christ, we are always scanning the horizon, watching for his return, waiting for the day when we will live with him in the new heavens and the new earth. In that day, in that place, we will “appear with him in glory” (Colossians 3:4), living and loving forever in his perfect peace.

Prayer

Lord Christ,

Draw our eyes away from our screens and toward your glorious presence on the throne next to our heavenly Father. Help us to set our minds on you and seek to live out your love on this earth. In your glorious name. Amen.

Further Encouragement

Read Colossians 3:1-3; Matthew 6:25-34.

Listen to “Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus” by Lauren Daigle.

For Reflection

Do you find yourself filling your mind with things of this earth during crisis? Make a list of three ways you could set your mind on things above and schedule times on your calendar to do them.

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8 Ways to Grieve Canceled Milestones

by | May 5, 2020 | Parenting, Suffering

8 Ways to Grieve Canceled Milestones

I haven’t wanted to write about it, because to write about it would force me to face it. I was supposed to attend four graduations in May, four different children graduating from four different grad school programs. All canceled. Actually, one of those was a senior vocal recital we were to attend in place of the graduation. I’ll be honest. It hurt to cross through those events in my calendar. But as much as it hurt me as a mom, my grief is nothing compared to my children’s. As I thought and prayed about this sadness, I did a little research and came up with eight suggestions for grieving canceled milestones with our children.

We can…

    1. Process our own emotions about the losses while recognizing that our children’s feelings may be different. As always, it’s good to begin by examining our own hearts (Psalm 139:23). We can spend time praying and journaling about our sadness over these canceled events. We can also process our feelings with a spouse or good friend or leader. If we’ve thought and prayed through our own emotions, we will be less likely to transfer our emotions to our child.
    2. Help our children name their losses. Instead of trying to brush aside our child’s grief by saying, “Let’s go out for ice cream,” (my personal favorite, as my kids will tell you), or, in other cases, “Let’s buy you a new car”, we can gently invite them to discuss their feelings, knowing they may turn down our invitation. We might try questions like, “What are some of the things you were looking forward to about graduation?” Or, “What canceled events are you missing the most?”

As they answer, we can listen attentively, as attentively as our Lord listens to our sorrows. As we listen, we need to avoid the temptation to “fix.” We can acknowledge that our child’s sadness is legitimate by pointing them to the God who keeps track of all our sorrows (Psalm 56:8).

 

  1. Encourage our children to stay connected socially. From the beginning, God created us to be social creatures, connected with one another. Our child may need to be more intentional to enjoy community with their peers—making plans to virtually meet with friends to watch a movie or to have youth group or to play games or to talk one on one. We as parents can encourage them and make opportunities for them to connect with people their own age who are experiencing similar losses.

 

  1. Recognize that moving back home is a grieve-worthy transition for our college and graduate students. If our adult child has moved away from home for school, they have begun the process of separating from parents. Now they are expected to acclimate to their home again in the midst of multiple losses. Knowing they are going through a hard transition can help us be more kind and compassionate (Ephesians 4:2).

 

  1. Recognize that people process grief differently and allow them to do so. One child may be grieving a canceled soccer tournament more intensely than another child is grieving her high school graduation. We can help by allowing for the differences in the way God created us and the varying maturities of our children. This may be a good time to make our children aware of some of the many lamentations in Scripture (Try Psalm 77 or 69 for starters).

 

  1. Thank God for the good things in the present and the future. This is a good season to help our child develop a heart of gratitude in the midst of suffering.We can enter in, not denying or minimizing loss, but helping them to search for the redeeming work God might be doing in the midst of their disappointment. In 2 Corinthians 4, the apostle Paul begins by naming his suffering but ends by celebrating the way his losses are leading more and more people to discover God’s grace and more and more people to thank God for his goodness (2 Cor. 4:15).

 

  1. Avoid making promises we can’t keep. We’ve never been more aware of our powerlessness to control circumstances. Even now, as some states re-open, they may end up being closed again. But we can submit our plans to the Lord and pray that he will give us opportunities to celebrate at the right time.

 

  1. Help our child plan a virtual celebration they can enjoy now and/or a social celebration they can enjoy later. They may object that “it won’t be the same.” We can acknowledge that reality while emphasizing the importance of marking all of the good that God has done in bringing them to this place (Psalm 145:7).

Dear friends, one thing is for sure—you and your children are not alone in grieving the loss of plans and dreams in this season. Bring that grief to the Lord, and trust him to sow the seeds of your tears and bring a harvest of joy in due time.

I’d love to know what you’re missing these days, or how you’re celebrating canceled milestones. Please share in the comments, or shoot me an email!

Counting Our Losses in the Midst of Crisis

by | Mar 17, 2020 | Devotional, Suffering

Counting Our Losses in the Midst of Crisis

Dear Readers,

I don’t have to tell you it is a season of suffering losses—suffering from anxiety about getting the COVID-19 virus, suffering from the illness itself, or suffering losses due to the precautions being taken. Today it seemed good to share one of the meditations I wrote for The Waiting Room: 60 Meditations for Finding Peace & Hope in a Health Crisis. I hope it ministers to you, whatever you have lost to this pandemic.

Counting Your Losses

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.  Psalm 56:8, NLT

Missing our daughter’s white coat ceremony for PT school.

Cancelling our trip to celebrate our 35th anniversary.

Missing my uncle’s funeral.

Caring for my dad in the latter stages of his illness….

One day I began listing all the losses I had endured during our season in the waiting room. I didn’t even count the profound loss our son endured or all of the losses that affected my husband, our other children, and our extended network of family and friends. During a health crisis, the losses mount like so many soldiers on the beaches of Normandy. Is it appropriate to count them, to take stock of our sorrows?

The Psalmists say, emphatically, yes. Of the 150 Psalms, somewhere between 65 and 67 are “psalms of lament,” depending on how they are categorized. Asaph, for example, cried: “You don’t let me sleep, I am too distressed even to pray! I think of the good old days, long since ended, when my nights were filled with joyful songs…. Has the Lord rejected me forever?” (Psalm 77:4-5a, 7, NLT). And David, the man after God’s own heart, moaned, “My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me…Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.” (Psalm 69:3, 21, NLT).

As each person cries out to God, even as he raises his fist at God as the one responsible for his sorrows, a tectonic shift of the heart occurs. God’s unfailing love drives this shift, and the lamenter begins to assert hope in God.

After his outcry, Asaph’s focus shifts to God’s power: “Oh, God, your ways are holy. Is there any God as mighty as you? You are the God of great wonders! You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations” (Psalm 77:13-14, NLT).

David’s heart also changes: “For the Lord hears the cries of the needy; he does not despise his imprisoned people. Praise him O heaven and earth, the seas and all that move in them” (Psalm 69:33-34, NLT).

As we tally our tears, we discover a compassionate God who is counting them right alongside us. The same God who counts our tears sent his Son Jesus to weep human tears for and with us. The same God who counts our tears will one day wipe every one away when Jesus returns to restore all broken things. Remembering God’s kindness helps us wait with hope for the day when all losses will be accounted for.

Prayer

Tear-tracking God, help us to count our losses and to discover your amazing love even as we do. Help us weep tears over our own sin as well as the pain we encounter in a fallen world. In Jesus’ compassionate name we pray, Amen.

Further Encouragement

Choose one lament Psalm: Psalm 56, 69, or 77, and read it all the way through.

Listen to “We Will Feast in the House of Zion” by Sandra McCracken at https://youtu.be/ujVBV3lNSbQ.

For Reflection: Make a list of the losses you have suffered during this season. Ask God to reveal his compassion to you in the midst of such loss.

To minister more hope to people in this season, I have placed  The Waiting Room on sale for the next two weeks.

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The Real Reason We Don’t Have to Worry

by | Oct 30, 2019 | Bible study, Suffering

The Real Reason We Don’t Have to Worry

Endless opportunities for worry…

  • The state of our nation.
  • Cyber attacks.
  • Teenagers texting and driving.
  • Loved ones addicted to destructive substances.
  • Layoffs at work.
  • An unwelcome diagnosis.

Some days, some years, it seems that fresh opportunities for high anxiety arrive with every phone call, text, or news report.

Why shouldn’t we worry?

Philippians 4 offers a hopeful response to anxiety, but it seems sometimes it is tossed out as a purported quick-fix remedy for all our worry. When we hear an abbreviated version, divorced from its context, which I believe I actually cross-stitched and framed for my mom once,

“do not worry about anything; instead, in prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God…”

it can potentially put more pressure on us….We can end up worrying about our worry.

Learn how not to worry about your worry! #anxiety Share on X

We need “the whole story”…

We need to read more of Philippians 4 to know why we shouldn’t worry. We really need the entire book of Philippians, if not the entire narrative of Scripture :-), but just one more verse will help.

Recently, I discovered a little clause I had not paid much attention to before. (Side note: don’t you love it when the Spirit reveals new insights as  you study Scripture?!) I don’t remember ever seeing this little clause included on a memory verse card.

Here is the part most-often-quoted:

“do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Phil. 4:6-7

Please excuse me if I turn into an old-school English teacher for a moment:-)! Ready for a little quiz?
No grades, no red pens, just fun pre-smartphone grammar involved. What’s wrong with the first word of the first sentence —do?

If you gleefully shouted, “Oh, I know — it’s not capitalized!!” you probably were born before 1996 and might actually capitalize letters in text messages:-)! And that is the correct answer if verse 6 is an entire sentence.

The real reason we shouldn’t worry…

There is actually another clause in the sentence. It comes at the end of verse 5, and in the ESV is separated by a semi-colon (;) (yes, that little mark I always forgot to use instead of a comma to avoid run-on sentences! The whole sentence says,

“The Lord is near; do not worry…”

In the original languages, the Bible did not have punctuation; translators inserted it along with the chapters and verses. Some translations do have these two clauses as separate sentences, but I think the NRSV and the ESV get it right.

Enough grammar lesson — here’s my point —

QUESTION: How in this crazy world can we not worry about anything?!

ANSWER: Because, the Lord is near!

What does it mean that the Lord is near, when I can’t see him or touch him? The gospel story tells us:

  • He has come to earth in the form of a man, Jesus Christ – Immanuel. The Lord is near; do not worry.
  • Christ’s life, death, and resurrection has brought his kingdom near. Death is being defeated, and all of creation is being renewed day by day. The Lord is near; do not worry.
  • The Holy Spirit, Comforter, Guide, and Agent of Hope, is in us. The Lord is near; do not worry.
  • Christ is coming “soon” (Rev. 1) to finish the redemption work. Then God will be with his people, and his people will be with him finally and forever.The Lord is near; do not worry.

The Lord’s nearness helps us not to worry…

The Lord’s nearness gives us…

  • the confidence to pray and petition,
  • the reason to thank when our circumstances seem thankless,
  • and the peace that guards our hearts and minds from worry.

This is our good news today: Go in peace!

For Reflection: How have you experienced the Lord’s nearness and peace that surpasses all understanding in situations that would usually bring anxiety?

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