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A Father’s Day Gift He’ll Love

by | Jun 8, 2021 | Weekly Gospel Meditation

A Father’s Day Gift He’ll Love

Last month we wrote letters to our mothers or mother figures, thanking them for how they shaped our lives. Dads often get short shrift when it comes to Father’s Day, though I’m not quite sure why. We don’t always go to the lengths to celebrate Dads that we do to celebrate moms. But if you have or had a dad who gave you a taste of the goodness of our Heavenly Father, you know he should be celebrated. 

As I said last month, that may not have been your experience. Your dad may have been absent or even abusive. If that’s the case, I hope there is someone on this earth who has given you a little glimpse of a good father. Or, like me, you may have lost your dad in recent years. I am going to try this exercise as I continue to grieve my father’s loss. 

If you want to try it, here are the basic instructions, similar to last month’s but altered for dads. Also, if you want the printable template I created to write the Mother’s Day letter, make sure to sign up to get that and other free resources to help you learn, live, and love in God’s story of grace.  

Prompts:

Tell him something you love about him…

      His cooking, his sense of humor, his kindness, the way he provided for you and your family

Tell him a way he’s really helped you…

 Always being there when you call or text

 Teaching you about money and responsibility

Coaching your soccer team

Making your children giggle

Tell him about a characteristic or practice she has that you’d like to develop…

      His kindness, faithfulness, boldness

      His discipline in reading the Bible, his commitment to exercise, his love of prayer

Tell him about a lasting impact he’s made…

       on the world, on you, on your family, on your friends, on his work.

Think about things he’s really good at…

things he says a lot (even if you got tired of hearing it),

things he loves…

Tips for Writing Your Letter

  1. Pray about it. Ask God to help your memory and your imagination. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the right words.
  2. Brainstorm…Set a timer for 15 minutes and get all your ideas down on paper or into the voice recorder on your phone. Talk to your siblings or your mom if you get stuck. Try to come up with as many specific examples of things your dad has done for you as you can.
  3. Write a rough draft. Set a timer for 15 minutes and just start writing. You can always change things later.
  4. Don’t worry about having the right grammar or the best words.
  5. Do try to be specific…remember to try to “show” rather than “tell”:

Ex. Instead of, “I loved how you read books to me when I was a kid….”

“I loved how you would snuggle up with me on the couch and read The Chronicles of Narnia with me.”

If you do this exercise, I’d love to hear how it goes. Sometimes one of the biggest payoffs comes in the process of writing it. As we think intentionally about thanking our fathers, we see more of how God has worked redemptively in our lives. 

For Reflection and Discussion:

Have you written your father a thank-you letter before describing his impact on you as a father? What was that like? Will you do it again?

How to Share Your Story of Grace

by | Jun 1, 2021 | A Woman's Story, Learning Story, Weekly Gospel Meditation

How to Share Your Story of Grace

O my people, listen to my instructions.
    Open your ears to what I am saying,
     for I will speak to you in a parable.


I will teach you hidden lessons from our past—     

stories we have heard and known,
    stories our ancestors handed down to us.

We will not hide these truths from our children;
    we will tell the next generation
about the glorious deeds of the Lord,
    about his power and his mighty wonders.

Psalm 78:1-4

The Psalmist Asaph exhorts us to share our stories for the sake of growing in faith (turning away from idols and turning toward God), hope (believing that God will redeem and restore again), and love (sharing the mercy God has shown us).

If you’ve ever wanted to write or tell one of your stories of grace but weren’t sure how to begin, this post is for you. Today, I’m going to walk you through a simple way to do this in a story feast setting. If you’re not yet ready to share your story with others, you can follow these instructions to write some of your stories.

If you’d like 20 summer story prompts for free and a “pretty” version of the instructions for story feasting to use with a group, make sure you sign up to be a Living Story Subscriber. You also might want to check out the free YouTube series on sharing stories at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7Ye1tLnHUSbOfvV5rUDUpesurZutmADb. 

Why Story Feast?

God has written his very image into your story. He has sent you as his ambassador to tell his story. As you share your story with others and listen to others’ stories, you will grow closer to your sisters and brothers in Christ and open doors for the hurting world to hear the gospel. A Story Feast is an intentional way to gather a group together to share stories.

Food for the Feast

Invite everyone to bring something. You can choose a theme or just go with pot luck. Do an entire meal or make it simpler with apps or desserts. Some of my favorite recipes have come from story feasts, and the cool thing is you often get to hear a story related to the food:-)!

Story Topics

If you want 20 summer story prompts on printable cards, be sure to sign up here. Otherwise, there are as many story topics as there are stories, but here are a few to get you started:

• best/worst school story

• a story of rescue

• traditions of holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.

• first job story or work story

• stories of waiting

• vacation stories

Our Bible study group used to choose a theme related to our Bible study and take a break from our regular study to have a story feast. 

Help People Write Their Stories

Here is one way to approach writing a story to share:

1. Set aside 15 minutes. Brainstorm by writing down topics/titles that come to mind.

2. Set aside 30 minutes. Choose a topic, and answer a few questions about it. Here are some questions to consider:

Describe the senses — what you heard, tasted, felt, saw, smelled…etc.

Who were the people involved?

What happened? Was there a conflict? Was there a resolution?

What did you or do you see about God in the story?

Is there any redemption or revelation in the story?

3. Set aside 30 minutes again. Using the questions above, write out the story. Try to keep it rather short — around two pages. Sharing time is usually limited to around 10 minutes at the feast.

Plan the Feast

Although sometimes stories just come out as we linger around the table or living room together, often the time needs to be a little more structured.

  1. Allot a certain amount of time for eating, then gather to share stories.
  2. Give an allotted time — usually around 10-15 minutes works well. (Tell your guests ahead of time, so they will know they won’t have time to share every detail).
  3. Consider beginning with a brief gospel-centered devotional or by reading a Scripture related to the topic. 
  4. Remind everyone that they aren’t “required” to tell a story (tell them this when you invite them, too — more people will come!) Then remind them it will be fairly dull if no one does. Usually one brave soul begins, and often others decide to tell their story or remember one to tell if they haven’t before.
  5. Share stories.
  6. Provide a little time for feedback or observations. Remind people that they don’t need to try to fix anyone’s problem, just listen carefully, especially for hope and redemption.
  7. After the feast, within a day or so, return to the story and jot down a few new things you noticed after telling your story.

And that’s all it takes to have a story feast. If you have questions about this process, please feel free to contact me. Also, don’t forget to sign up for 20 summer story prompt printable cards!

For reflection and discussion:

Have you ever written or told stories of your life? What was that experience like? 

For a Prayer about Stories of Grace, Click Here.

Get your free summer story prompts and printable guide to Summer Story Feast!

Gather with your community this summer to share stories!

Send it now!

A New Series on Aging, Dying, and Death

by | May 25, 2021 | aging, dying, and death, Caregiving, Death and Resurrection, Numbering Our Days, Weekly Gospel Meditation

A New Series on Aging, Dying, and Death

A New Monthly Blog on Aging, Death, and Dying

Hi Friends,

Today begins a new monthly series on aging, dying, and death. Please don’t click away. 

Did you know that the fastest growing age group in America right now is 85 and older, and the “current growth of…65 and over is unprecedented” (PRB.org)? Even if we are not aging, dying, or dead, we need to recognize the inevitable reality. And if we are, especially if we are Christians, there is much to be gained and little to be lost by knowing the hope of the gospel for this season of life. I hope you will walk this journey with me. I hope you will share your stories, your thoughts, your questions, your prayers. Please feel free to email me using the contact form or by commenting below. I promise I will get back to you. 

Why We Don’t Talk about It

I don’t mean to be morbid, but I’m dying. I don’t mean to be offensive, but so are you. Despite a myriad of life-prolonging advances in modern medicine, the mortality rate remains at 100%. If I continue to live, I will get old (something our world may consider worse than dying), and if I don’t, well then, I will die. 

Despite the certainty of death, it seems no one really wants to talk about it. Just last month, I had the privilege of taking part in a well-designed and lovingly-executed conference on The Practical Theology of Death and Dying. (My part was to offer a workshop for caregivers.) At this vibrant church known for its well-attended events designed to help people apply the gospel to daily life, the attendance was, unsurprisingly, lower than usual. 

We don’t really have to wonder why. At some level, it’s obvious. It’s morbid (a word that did not used to carry the negative connotation it now does) to talk about death. In our anti-aging society, the subject has become taboo. We can watch traumatic deaths on cable news or bizarre deaths on crime shows, but we can’t talk about the realities of aging, dying, and death.

Why Christians Can Talk about It

And yet, as Christians, the cultural narrative doesn’t, or shouldn’t, define us. We might well ask why Christians are so reticent to discuss the issues of aging, dying, and death. The Bible doesn’t shy away from talking about death. Christians in previous centuries were intentional about preparing for death: pastors preached sermons on death, and tracts were written to help people with the “art of dying” (ars moriendi). 

In his eloquent liturgy that opens his book Every Moment Holy, Volume II: Death, Grief, and Hope (affiliate link), Douglas McKelvey articulates a warm invitation to speak of death, dying, grief, and hope:

“Children of the Living God,

Let us now speak of dying, 

and let us speak without fear, 

for we have already died with Christ, 

and our lives are not our own. 

Our dying is part of the story 

that God is telling to us, 

and part of the story 

God is telling through us…. 

Death will not have the final word, 

so we need not fear to speak of it. 

Death is not a period that ends a sentence. 

It is but a comma, 

a brief pause before the fuller thought 

unfolds into eternal life.  

Douglas McKelvey, “An Exhortation Making Space to Speak of Dying.”

McKelvey is right—we can talk about death and dying. We can talk about aging. We can face the hard and bitter realities—dying sucks the life out of us and aging subjects us to previously unimagined levels of indignity—because God is telling a story of hope to us and through us as we age and die. Aging and dying, while they can bring new levels of indignity and humiliation, can also bring new levels of surrender and growth, not to mention the perspective and wisdom to bless both the dying and the living. When we not only talk about aging and dying and death but face it intentionally and prepare for it, we can know deeper joy, peace, and hope. 

Next month, we will discuss the benefits of discussing and preparing for aging, dying, and death. For today, I’ll leave you with a few reflection or discussion questions. I’d love to hear your thoughts on these or anything else that comes to mind about these hard topics:

For Reflection:

1. How do you feel about discussing aging, dying, and death?

2. Have you known anyone who prepared well for their death? How did that bless you? Conversely, have you known or observed someone who did not prepare well? How did that affect their loved ones?

For A Prayer about Discussing Aging, Dying, and Death, go here.

Something Worth Waiting For

by | May 18, 2021 | Caregiving, Suffering, Weekly Gospel Meditation

Something Worth Waiting For

Hi Friends, in this season after a year of so many canceled celebrations, many of us are anticipating graduations and reunions and vacations. But I’m aware that some are still stuck in very painful, anxiety-inducing waits. Wherever this day finds you, I pray this excerpt from The Waiting Room reminds you of the hope we all have in the day that is worth waiting for. 

I will tell of the Lord’s unfailing love. I will praise the Lord for all he has done. I will rejoice in his great goodness to Israel, which he has granted according to his mercy and love. Isaiah 63:7, NLT

After our son’s second brain surgery, a small piece of his skull had become infected, and the neurosurgeon had removed it. Six months later, they would implant a synthetic skull piece to replace the one removed. We were all eager for our son to have this fourth, and hopefully, final surgery.

The day finally arrived for this surgery. When we arrived at pre-op at the appointed time, ten a.m., there was a delay; we were asked to remain in the surgical waiting area. Finally, around noon, our son was taken to pre-op. Forty-five minutes later, my husband and I were invited back to wait with him. An hour went by, then two. We were told that the neurosurgeon was involved in a very complex surgery; we’d have to wait a while longer. As the wait was extended, my restlessness increased, but my husband and our son remained fairly calm. Finally, at six p.m., eight hours after he had been told to report, our son was taken back to surgery. Less than two hours later, the surgery was over, and all was well.

Amy Carmichael, missionary to India, puts words to how I felt in that “longest wait”: “…sometimes we are tempted to discouragement. So often we have believed that what we asked was about to be given, and then have been disappointed. But delays are for the trial of faith, not for its discouragement.” [emphasis added][i]

In the delay, my faith had indeed been tried. I held my tongue, because I did not want to infect our son with my anxiety, but internally, I was fantasizing about running down the hall of pre-op, screaming, “We can’t take this anymore!” I later asked our son, “How did you stand that long wait?” He answered very simply, “I knew they were going to come get me eventually.”

In order to wait well, we must know that the Lord is “going to come get us eventually.” As Isaiah 63:7-9 reminds us, we have every reason to believe in the Lord’s unfailing love. Despite Israel’s repeated disobedience, the Lord has shown them “great goodness,” “which he has granted according to his mercy and love” (Isaiah 63:7). As Isaiah also reminds us, “In all their suffering, he also suffered, and he personally rescued them….” (Isaiah 63:9, NLT).

Indeed, we have every reason to trust. God did not delay in sending Jesus to rescue us from the suffering of our sin. And, though it may seem like a long wait, God does not delay in sending Jesus back for us. When Jesus arrives, we will affirm, as Amy Carmichael so eloquently writes, “‘Lord, this was worth waiting for.’”[ii]

Prayer

Lord, in our longest waits, help us to remember your unfailing love and abundant mercy. May we never forget that you are coming back for us and that the sweet reunion will be worth the wait. Amen.

Further Encouragement

Read Isaiah 63:7-9; Isaiah 65:17-25.

Listen to “It’s Hard to Wait” by Flo Paris at https://youtu.be/HbMsm328cu8.

For Reflection: What delays have you experienced during this journey? What helps you to wait well?

 

 

[i] Amy Carmichael, 258.

[ii] Carmichael, 258.

The Good News of Not Being Fine

by | May 11, 2021 | Gospel living, Weekly Gospel Meditation

The Good News of Not Being Fine

Hi Friends,

In this once-again “busy” month of May, as things are revving back up and graduations and end-of-school and summer vacations and other fun things start happening, I’m aware that maybe you’re not fine yet. The pandemic has taken a toll on many of us. If that’s the case for you or for someone you love, please enjoy (and share) this excerpt from From Recovery to Restoration: 60 Meditations for Finding Peace & Hope in Crisis.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Ecclesiastes 4:9, NLT 

I guess I could blame it on my daughter. She put the idea in my head. It all started when I texted my two girls, asking them to pray because I was going to the doctor to have twenty-five staples removed from my hip. Both agreed to pray, and my younger daughter, who, as a counselor, knows the best methods for dealing with pain and stress, reminded me to take something to squeeze. Good idea, I thought.

There was just one problem. I didn’t have one of those squishy de-stresser balls. But now I was committed to squeezing, so I decided to make one. Searching my pantry for something soft, I found an old bag of mini-marshmallows. I quickly grabbed a few large handfuls and stuffed them in a snack-sized plastic bag, squeezed the air out, and sealed it. Voilá! DYI de-stresser ball! I tucked my homemade squishy ball into my jacket pocket and headed out the door.

Unfortunately, I had not anticipated the X-ray tech’s request that I empty my pockets before my scan. I tried to quickly stuff my makeshift squishy ball behind my purse, but I’m pretty sure she saw it and is still wondering about the peculiar woman who carries around a snack-sized bag of mini-marshmallows.

How did I come to be this woman—a woman who frantically stuffs a bag of mini-marshmallows into her pocket before a doctor’s appointment? I think the problem started with “being fine.” Like many people recovering from crisis, when asked how I was doing, I’d say, “I’m fine.” When friends asked me how they could help, I’d say, “I’m fine.” But, like many people recovering from crisis, I was not, in fact, “fine.”

The wisdom of Ecclesiastes is that we are not at all fine when we are trying to walk alone. Two are better than one, and three are better than two. Another person can offer us a hand to squeeze when staples are being removed; two friends can accompany us to the divorce lawyer’s office; the whole church can work together to mow our lawn, clean our house, and pay our bills when our loved one is dying of cancer. As members of the body of Christ, we are called to bear the burdens of the weak and to be stronger together (Galatians 6:2).

Dear friend, let my mini-marshmallow tale be a lesson to you: don’t be fine when you’re not. Discover the peace and hope that come from asking for and receiving help. Let your burdens be borne by those called to carry them. One day, when you are “more fine,” you will know the joy of extending a helping hand to someone who needs to squeeze it.

 

Prayer

Dear Jesus,

We confess, we are often not “fine” as we walk through this season. Thank you for sending physical hands to hold us and help us in our time of need. Give us the courage to ask for and receive help. In your kind name we pray, Amen.

 

Further Encouragement

Read Ecclesiastes 4:7-12; Galatians 6:2.

Listen to “Kindness” by Sandra McCracken.

For Reflection

Do you have the tendency to say “I’m fine” when you’re not? What specific help could you ask for or accept in this season?

The Mother’s Day Gift She’s Sure to Love

by | May 4, 2021 | Mother's Day, Weekly Gospel Meditation, Writing

The Mother’s Day Gift She’s Sure to Love

Her children rise up and call her blessed. Proverbs 31:28

I’ll be honest. I’m not really looking forward to this Mother’s Day. It will be the first since my mom died. I didn’t always do a good job of celebrating her. Life got busy, and of course I had my own Mother’s Day to celebrate with my kids. It was also hard to come up with a gift. Especially in the latter years of her life, she insisted that she didn’t want any more “stuff,” so it was hard  to find something she would want. She also didn’t enjoy going out to eat as much as she once had, so I couldn’t take her to lunch. The last few years I usually just settled on a scarf or some earrings and a handmade card. When I was going through her “stuff” after she died, I was surprised to see how many of my Mother’s Day and other cards she had saved. I don’t know why I was surprised. I usually save all the cards my kids send me. There is something about a kid (even, or especially, an adult kid) taking the time to write things down.

All of this leads me to this guide to writing a thank-you letter to your mom. I know, buying a card and signing it is easier. Sending a handprint of your preschooler is easier. Writing a thank-you letter is hard, because we have to stop and think about our mother’s life and how it has shaped us. We have to try to put words to thoughts that are hard to articulate.

It’s even harder if you lost your mother early in life or if your mother wasn’t much of a mother to you. Maybe you would like to consider writing a thank-you letter to someone who has mothered you well. I pray there’s someone in your life like that. It may even be a friend around your same age. Some of you, like me, may have lost your mother recently. I plan to do this exercise in remembrance. I believe it will help me as I grieve. Maybe it would help you too.

Life is short, and words are meaningful. Let’s take the time to write them down and give them to our moms.

To get you started, I’ve provided a few prompts and tips for writing.

Prompts:

Tell her something you love about her…

Her cooking, her sense of humor, her wits, the way she provided for you and your family

Tell her a way she’s really helped you…

Always being there when you call or text

Bringing your lunch to school when you forgot it

Taking care of your kids so you could get some time away

Tell her about a characteristic or practice she has that you’d like to develop…

Her kindness, faithfulness, boldness

Her discipline in reading the Bible, her commitment to exercise, her love of prayer

Tell her about lasting impact she’s made…

on the world, on you, on your family, on your friends, on her work.

Think about things she’s really good at…

things she says a lot (even if you got tired of hearing it),

things she loves…

Tips for Writing Your Letter

  1. Pray about it. Ask God to help your memory and your imagination. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the right words.
  2. Brainstorm…Set a timer for 15 minutes and get all your ideas down on paper or into the voice recorder on your phone. Talk to your siblings or your dad if you get stuck. Try to come up with as many specific examples of things your mom has done for you as you can.
  3. Write a rough draft. Set a timer for 15 minutes and just start writing. You can always change things later.
  4. Don’t worry about having the right grammar or the best words.
  5. Do try to be specific…remember to try to “show” rather than “tell”:

If you do this exercise, I’d love to hear about it. Comment below or shoot me an email here.