Freedom from Shame: What Not to Wear

for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;

he has covered me with the robe of righteousness. Isaiah 61:10

It sort of seeps over you like an ugly rash, sometimes starting with a few small red bumps then spreading wide and purple and making you crazy with the itch and desire for relief. Shame, burning and raw. Do you know the feeling?

Guess what? The good news of our freedom in Christ is that we have something better than calamine lotion for stopping the spread of shame—the gospel! Today I’m sharing an old story about a time I felt shame and insecurity and the hope of freedom I discovered.

(Also, there’s more gospel good news—I am seeing growth in this area! My husband and I recently attended another tennis team reunion, and I hardly worried at all about what to wear!)

Being a freelancing mom who works out of my home, I have a very basic wardrobe suiting the four most common occasions in my life:

Outfit

1.jeans or shorts, t-shirt (long or short-sleeve depending on season), and boots or clogs or Chaco’s in the summer

2. chino capris or a casual skirt and a blouse

3. a few nicer dresses

The problem arises when there is an event that falls outside of these three wardrobe options. Many years ago, my husband and I were invited to attend a 90th Birthday Gala Celebration for his former tennis coach at the University of Georgia. It would be more than a birthday party; it would be a reunion of his former teammates and their wives.

I first suspected shame when I whined to my husband, “I don’t even know what to wear.”

Being a normal man who has little concern about clothing-performance issues, he failed to recognize my remark as a subtle invitation to reassure me, “Oh honey, you’ll look great in anything.” (Even if he had, I wouldn’t have believed him. Such is the nature of shame.)

He did kindly volunteer to ask one of his former teammates what his (glamorous) wife was wearing.

A Shame Pile-Up: Country Club Casual

Her response: “country club casual.”

What???!! I really do need to brush up on past programs of “What Not to Wear” (Is that still a show?).
I now felt additional shame that I didn’t even know what this apparently basic term meant. Though I write about this with mild humor, I felt intense discomfort and considerable fear of shaming myself and my husband by wearing the wrong thing.

And then I heard that loud, clear voice, the one that asks me to live in freedom and enjoy who I am and how I’m made.

The Holy Spirit slapped me square on the back with a gospel reality that struck me to attention. It sounds so silly I wouldn’t even say it if it weren’t true:

“You are clothed in Christ’s righteousness.” (Isaiah 61:10, 2 Corinthians 5:21)

“Yes, but what am I going to wear to the Gala?”

What to Wear: Righteousness Frees from Shame

“Christ’s righteousness. You don’t even have to buy it. You’re already wearing it. You look beautiful in it. Like a princess, no, like a queen. In that outfit, you will bring beauty to anyone you meet tonight. People will be saying to themselves, “That dress is nothing special, but she is lovely. What is it about her?”

I finally chose a trendy skirt and blouse outfit my mother-in-law had given me for Christmas. She knows fashion and I figured she might even know what “country club casual” means. (Though I was too embarrassed to ask her.)

I’m not gonna lie. My stomach fluttered with mild fear as we strolled from our hotel to the event. But then, I pictured my flowing robe of righteousness. And yes, I stared with awe and a little twitch of envy at stunning cocktail dresses modeled by former beauty queens. Then I remembered, “I am a queen.” As I began to meet people and hear their delightful stories, shame subsided, and I began to enjoy myself. We had a wonderful time, and from the vast assortment of outfits worn, I never did figure out what “country club casual” means!

A Prayer about Freedom from Shame:

Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for freeing us forever from shame over our sins. Creator God, we praise you for making us fearfully and wonderfully. Holy Spirit, keep whispering into our unbelieving hearts the good news of the gospel: Free, Free, Free. In Jesus’ freeing name we pray, Amen.

 A story question:

Do you have any similar shame stories, about not wearing the right thing or fear of not fitting in? What was it like? Was there any redemption in the story? How might the story change if you see yourself as God sees you, living in the beauty of who you were created and redeemed to be?

Photo by Camila Damásio on Unsplash