How (and Why) to Write Your Mother’s Story

As we continue our focus on moms, this week we consider our own moms or mother figures in our lives. 

A story about writing a mother’s story

It had never occurred to me before, and I don’t know why it occurred to me now. We had been asked in a writer’s workshop I was attending to tell a story about bones, possibly broken bones. Well, I have a great broken bone story, so I was ready to dive right in. I would tell the story I’ve told many times before, about the day I shattered my elbow into twenty-five pieces when I was eleven. Our teacher set a timer for fifteen minutes and told us to write what happened.

That’s when it occurred to me, and I have to admit, I felt a little selfish that I’m almost fifty-seven years old, and it had never occurred to me before. I wondered, “What was that day like for my mom?” That’s when I decided to write the story from her perspective. Instead of telling my version of the story, I tried to picture what that day had been like for her. I began to write what I imagined might have happened. I wrote quickly for fifteen minutes and still had more to write when the timer ended.

How it changed me:

Rather than sharing what I wrote that day, I want to share what happened inside of me as I wrote what my mom might have gone through in that season:

Tears began to leak down my cheeks. I actually felt the terror she might have felt when she answered the phone and a strange voice on the other end of the line reported, “Your daughter has been in a bike accident!”

I wondered in writing:

• What did it feel like for her when the policeman at the accident scene remarked, “Isn’t that her bone sticking out of her arm”?
• What stress did she endure as a single working mom when her daughter was admitted to the hospital for three weeks?
• What was it like to worry about the financial burden of two surgeries and countless hours of physical therapy placed on her and her ex-husband?

I felt something swelling inside of me—I’m pretty sure it was empathy for my mother.

The time has come but not passed (thankfully) for me to ask these questions and others about her stories. That day, I concluded my invented story with this observation:

If you’d like to try writing your mother’s story, I created a full story journal with guidelines, multiple prompts, and a few reflection questions for all of my wonderful Living Story subscribers. You can get that free resource by subscribing here.

If you prefer a briefer version of just this particular prompt, try the instructions below:

How to write a story from your mother’s point of view:

1. Choose a significant event from your life that your mother was involved in in some way.
2. Don’t worry about grammar or sentence structure or any “English teacher” type things. Just tell the story.
3. Try to show what happened:
   • Describe the setting.
   • Write the dialogue: For example: What did the stranger say when he or she called my mom? How did my mom reply?
   • Consider your mother’s season and circumstance and how your life event might have affected her.
4. Write down everything you can remember about it.
5. Now, imagine what that event was like for her. See it through her eyes.
6. At the end, write what you see now about your mother that you did not see before.
7. Do you see any ways that your love, empathy, and/or forgiveness toward your mom grew through this exercise?
8. If your mom is still alive, consider asking your mom about this event. Ask her to tell you the story from her point of view.

Questions to consider as you try to write from your mom’s perspective:

• What would have been her struggles in that situation? What stresses might she have endured? What fears or sorrows might she have had?
• What would she have said to her husband or her friend that she would not have said to you?

For a joyous event:

• What would she have celebrated?
• What would she have been most excited about (Remember, it might not be what you were most excited about!)

Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash