Numbering Our Days: Gospel Comfort for Caregivers
Dear Friends,
This month’s Numbering Our Days post is for all of you caregivers and all of the caregivers you love. Don’t forget to sign up if you want to receive the monthly column, Numbering Our Days: A Gospel Perspective on Aging, Caregiving, and End of Life in your inbox. You’ll also get the free Caregiver’s Checkup.
Did you know that caregiving can be hazardous to your health? It’s true. Studies have shown that the chronic stress of caregiving can be likened to the stress of war. And sadly, caregivers tend to prioritize their loved one’s health to the detriment of their own. In today’s linked post with the enCourage blog, learn how and why self-care for the caregiver is essential.
And as always with this series, please send me your thoughts and questions and struggles. I am praying for us all as we become intentional about numbering our days.
My father was dying of cancer, and I was caring for our twenty-two-year-old son who had already had three surgeries for a brain tumor and now required IV antibiotics four times daily. I skipped my yearly physical and my yearly mammogram. I ate more sugar and exercised less. I slept poorly. Strands of hair came out in my hands as I washed it. Dark half-moons carved themselves into the skin under my eyes, and fatigue fell over me like a persistent fog. During my most intense season of caregiving, my self-care deteriorated rapidly, and my body paid the price.
According to the 2020 AARP Study on Caregiving, I was not alone. Of the approximately 53 million people who are now providing unpaid care for an adult with “health or functional needs,” at least 23 percent say caregiving has worsened their physical health.[i] Kelly Markham, LCSW and palliative care expert, explains the lethal cycle: The caregiver believes that she alone can tend to the loved one properly; the loved one often reinforces that belief. Under the chronic stress of caregiving, the caregiver’s health suffers. Committed to caring for her loved one, the caregiver neglects her own care. Such neglect of self-care has been shown to lead to an earlier and higher mortality rate for caregivers as compared to non-caregivers.
